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May 8, 2008

[11 years] 11 years. 132 months. 4,018 days.

Tony and I celebrate our eleventh anniversary today. Yea, yea, why are we on a plane ALL day, right? Well, we're going back to where we first met -- London! Oh, and to see Su Ann :-D

Time flies, it really does. We're practically an old married couple. Or lesbians. But I'm only 30 (OK, 31 soon :-p).

I almost don't even want to think about it. Turning 31, that is :-D

But yea, 11 years...

11 years ago, I realized after our first ever kiss (in our room at the Covent Garden Hotel... when the maid walked in on us, LOL!) that my life as I knew it back then had ended. My life would never be the same, and it has, indeed, changed completely. For the better.

And even after 11 years, I wake up every morning and the one thing that I look forward to the most is Tony's kiss (on my forehead, lips, back... ass *evil grin*, wherever).

Even after 11 years, I go to bed and wait for Tony to say to me, "sleep well, my love" before I fall asleep.

Even after 11 years, I think he's the best cook in the world (sorry Mom :-D) and I look forward to every dinner like it's special (and I get bitchy when it's not, lol).

Even after 11 years, when he says "I love you" to me, I just know that, whatever it is, everything's gonna get better.

Not everything's perfect, I recognize that. Very few things are. Things do go wrong. We're humans, we make mistakes. If we both were expecting the other not to, well, we're in the wrong species then.

I love you, Tony, now and forever. Even if I don't say it very often, I do. I know that because when I think about loving you, I don't feel alone.

Happy Anniversary, baby. Here's to celebrating us, 11 years later :-) @ 15:43 DC or 20:43 London

[coach is skank] OMB, I just realized that I am unable to fly coach ever again. I just can't do it. I've tried, I really have. But please don't make me do it again. Please...

Back when I decided to go to London for a long weekend, I looked online for fares and thought to myself, maybe I can put up with economy class for 7 hours. It can't be *THAT* bad. I mean, lots of people do it and have survived. Plus, an upgradeable fare would've been twice as much and I really want to go on a shopping spree when I get there. AND I really wanted to conserve our free upgrades and miles for bigger and longer trips, like Asia.

Even the dirt cheap fare that I got wasn't that cheap. The fare by itself was dirt cheap -- $109 each way! -- but pile on the taxes and the fare tripled. I know, ghastly. One of these days, people are gonna realize that the mess of an airport they call Heathrow is not gonna be worth the extortionist taxes and fees that they charge to land there.

Anyho, long story short, we got stuck in coach. I did pray really, Really hard at Dulles just now in hopes that they would somehow be generous and/or nice enough to upgrade us into business class; Tony being 1K/Platinum and all. But alas, that was not to be. And now here we are, "stuck" in coach.

When I first boarded, I was like, "this ain't so bad." We're in the exit row of a 767 with Tons of legroom, all is good. I mean, 7 hours of this can't be that bad, right?

4-1/2 hours later... All I have to say is: Get me off this eff-ing plane now!! :-D

Seriously, ladies. Coach is not for me, period. Short-haul domestic trips, maybe. But for international trips, this is like Abu Ghraib. It's official -- coach is skank.

First and foremost, I am Hungry. I have never been hungry on an int'l flight before. Ever. Trust me, ladies, they don't serve you a full meal in international economy. I've had appetizers in business that are more filling (and tons better) than the scrap they serve you back here. Grrrrr... (no, I'm not mad, that's just my tummy growling).

And even more importantly, the seat -- after 4 hours -- is impossibly cramped! And, OMB, you call this slight backward movement of the seat "recline"?? Even my desk chair at work has better "recline", Good God. It is impossible to feel comfortable -- much less fall asleep (thank God we're on the daylight flight!) -- in this obnoxious upright position. Double grrrrr... (again, my tummy).

Ooh, yippee... they just brought us a "snack". Let's see what we have here... turkey and cheddar cheese. Gag. But I'm starving so I don't care. And I can't wait to get to London for some good ol' Chinatown food!

Drink service? Non-existent. Service? With a snarl. Bathroom lines? I always thought that those only existed in powder form.

In short, I cannot do this whole unwashed masses thing. It's a good thing, then, that Tony loves me (and vice-versa, of course) coz I couldn't support my "I'm so high maintenance the air is thinner" lifestyle unless he does.

Cruising at 35,000-ft, 5 hours down, 2 more to go. Flying away from the sun, across the pond, and chasing the sunset into the British Isles.

I'm just so happy to be on vacation -- no matter how short -- after SO long. Work these past five months has been grueling and I deserve this, I really do.

Plus, I miss London. And, I miss -- I never thought I would say this -- United's International Business Class!!! 15:00 DC or 20:00 London

[eight thirty] Walking through Dulles just now, I was like, "WhereTF is everybody?". And then I realized it was EIGHT FUCKING THIRTY in the morning!

Um, I am barely awake on a weekday at 8:30am, much less be functional and going through check-in and security at an airport.

Not fetch. @ 09:05

[london calling] Argh, I woke up WAY too early today -- 5am! Allergies *sneeze* *cough*... which is just as well coz it's already 10am in London :-D

It has been more than 5 months since my last flight. Or since I've gone anywhere, period. This would be the longest period I have been *in* DC -- not flying and not on vacation -- since I started my first job 10-1/2 years ago! I know, I'm shocked myself.

Take last year for e.g. Beijing in Jan, PV Mexico in Feb, London/S Africa in Mar, Indonesia in May, KL in June, NYC in July, N'Awlins in Sept, Oz/NZ in Nov and SF/Tokyo in Dec. And the year before -- London/KL in Jan, Torino/SF in Feb, NYC in May & Jul, KC in Jul, Bali/KL in Sept, Italy/Switzerland in Sept, KL in Oct, SF/Japan in Nov, Vegas in Dec, Seoul/China in Dec/Jan... and so on (you can track my travels here).

My frequent flyer account has never been so empty this late into the year. Shell-shocking. I can't believe it myself that I haven't gotten the urge to just get the hell out of DC in these many months. I do have to say that I've been kept well busy at work and by my friends these past five months. It's still amazing that I managed to survive without exploding from being cooped up in the US for this long!

No worries, though. I'm playing catch-up for the rest of the year -- Vegas in 3 weeks, Playa in Jul, the Olympics in Jul/Aug, (maybe) Ireland in Sept and KL in Nov. And more to come!

But for now, it has been too long (14 months!) since I was in London last. And I can't wait!! London's calling and I'm putting all you bitches on hold! @ 06:30

May 7, 2008

[cruelties and blessings] I got a haircut on Monday -- from my fav hairdresser for the past 7 years, Andy, whose disappearance will inspire panic and hysteria in me of Hiroshima proportions -- and briefly contemplated getting it highlighted for the summer; like I have done in the past few. Y'know, coz light(er) hair and tanned skin go very well together during the "take most of your clothes off" months. Plus, my birthday party is, like, in 10 days. I always have highlights for my birthday.

Until I thought about the boredom-inducing pain of having to sit -- with stinging, stinky peroxide in my hair -- under the heat lamp for an HOUR to just get the black off of my hair. There's no coloring even involved; it's just the basic bleaching process. For SIXTY minutes. Totarry tran-gic.

It's not like I don't love my jet black hair or anything (shut it, I do), but once in awhile it would be nice to change it up a little, y'know, for beauty's and (perhaps) uniqueness' sake. But not only did God give half of (present) humanity the same color hair, He also made it extremely difficult (for me, at least) to change it. How cruel.

On top of it being some of the busiest months of the year for my social calendar, spring also has the cruelest months for me -- allergies.

I mean, seriously... It is crimes against humanity for God to make me suffer through itchy/burning eyes and a sneezefest during the months when the weather is *the* most perfect in DC and being outdoors is almost mandatory! Absolutely cruel.

Usually the worst months for me are when the trees are cumming, ahem, pollinating all over the eff-ing place i.e. late-March to early-May, but for some reason (global warming?), this year it started way late -- mid-April -- which led me to a false sense of security and I let my guard way, way down for this year's pollen season. I usually have to go through this endless cycle of showering, nasal spray, eye drops, medication, etc. just to stay afloat amidst all the tree cum (let's not even talk about driving with the top down and laying out in Judgement Circle), and this year is no different.

Case in point: two weekends ago, Chris and I partied like rockstars while Dave was out of town, hitting dinner (at Creme), Nellie's (outdoor deck, of course), the B-52s concert at 9:30 Club, Town, AND Ben's Chili Bowl -- all in one night! I suffered massively on Sunday for the outdoor action at Nellie's... But still I went to drunk brunch at Beacon looking like death warmed over, followed by a "Black Out Betty" night at JR's for $2 Sundays, but that's a different story altogether.

Note to all trannies: Tranpagne Brunch at NOON?! This face doesn't see light before noon on a Sunday, mmm-kay? Spanks.

Anyho, fast forward. This past weekend kicked off on Thursday at Sky-Bar (rooftop, high winds, pollen everywhere, you get the picture) while I was still recovering from a pollen-induced sinus infection, followed by an outdoor BBQ (yay, more pollen) at Rob/Carlos' which beget Town (and Ben's! *giggle*) on Friday night. I stayed indoors all of Saturday as we prepped (well, Tony prepped, I slept) for the big dinner party that night (which was FAB-U-LOUS, btw). Sunday was so amazingly beautiful we drove around (running errands) quite a bit in the convertible followed by hanging out at Adam/Patrick's gorgeous new condo *east* of Logan Circle with all the windows open...

Yup, the pollen and I had a big ol' fuckfest on Sunday. Pollen and me are best fuckbuddies. AND to top it all off, I sat outside at Raku for dinner the next day (I'm going to omit the Cinco de Mayhem trannybrations at JR's after, LOL!). I mean, have you seen the weather these past few days?? There are Geneva Conventions against staying indoors when it's *that* nice outside! Why, oh why do I have to have spring allergies? Really, how am I sposed to function in May and plan our friggin' 11th anniversary AND my 31st birthday (the anniv. comes before the b'day so, yes, I was 19 when we shacked up... shut up :-p) when I'm down and out with pollenitis??

Sigh.

But... I really do bitch and whine a lot; especially about my kwazy social life and my equally kwazy work load. So many fantastic things happen that go unnoticed until you think back and savor those moments.

Like, last night. Tony and I were in the midst of making (more) Sichuan food when Peik, Kitty and their 1yo -- Leo -- stopped by and hung out on the deck (again, pollen). It was good to see them after more than a year. Now that they have started a family and all that in Helsinki, our only bait for them to come back stateside is the cheap dollar! BTW, Kitty got THREE years of maternity in Finland! *faints*

Anyho, Leo is so eff-ing adorable! If there is something more beautiful than being on the receiving end of a baby's innocent smile, you gotta let me know. Coz the feeling is quite incredible, no matter how many times you've received it. There's just something about a baby's smile that is spontaneous, unadulterated and sans malice or intent. All the horror stories in the world about pregnancy, labor, childbirth, etc. cannot blemish the purity of watching a toddler light up in your presence. Perfection, and what a blessing.

And then I get to finally jet-set out of DC tomorrow for a long(-ish) weekend in London... I am so excited about tomorrow (and seeing my bestie, Su Ann!) my pants are practically soaked. We have a fantastic weekend planned revolving around -- what else -- food, of course (what? We're Malaysians!). I intend to shop till I'm broke and eat till I'm fat. All this while the dollar is worth half the British pound. It's gonna be tran-tastic!

Yes, there are many blessings in my life that far outweigh all the cruelties that are thrown at me on a daily basis (woe is me).

Perhaps the biggest blessing of all is the fact that Tony and I will celebrate 11 years together tomorrow.

I know... Shock and Awe!

p.s. If you can't tell, I'm already in vaca mode. @ 14:30

[tiara-less] *Head bowed*

Jason:: All right. Who all is going to Towne on Saturday...and what time is the circus starting? If we remember Madonna-rama's of past....someone on this list almost needed knee replacement surgery.
Me:: Sadly, I will be out of the country, SHOCK and HORROR!!!
Jason:: Sacrilege. rips off tiara

Oh, the shame.

p.s. I cannot believe it myself either that I am going to miss Town's first Madonnarama! @ 14:13

[sunny... london?!] Wow, I almost slid off my chair in shock (and excitement) when I looked up the weather forecast in London for the weekend:

Fri	Sat	Sun
Mostly Cloudy High: 24°C (75°F) Low: 15°C (59°F)	AM Clouds PM Sun High: 26°C (79°F) Low: 15°C (59°F)	Partly Sunny High: 24°C (75°F) Low: 15°C (59°F)

70s/60s! Sunshine!! No rain!!! Holy kwap. I know, right? If this is global warming... then, sign me up!

Momma's gonna pack some shorts for the weekend, woo!

Even the pound is moving in our favor... "only" $1.96 to the pound, which is roughly the same as when we were last there in March '07. At least it's not $2.10! (back in Nov '07)

Momma's gonna be buying a lot of new clothes to go with those shorts, mmm-hmm *triple snaps*

London, here I come! @ 11:35

May 6, 2008

[hot tranny mess] Ugh, oww, ouch...

Sake + Vodka Crans + Tequila Shots = Hot Tranny Mess!

¡Ay caramba! Cinco de Mayhem indeed! @ 10:40

May 5, 2008

[chinko de mayo] OMB!

Aaron:: Happy chinko er cinco. I always get the 2 confused.
Me:: Lol. Hey tranny!
Aaron:: I think u should start a new holiday. Chinko de mayo. Celebrate it on the 20th.
Me:: OMB! That's the fiercest idea ever
Aaron:: I know. :-)

ROTFL! I ♥ Aaron long time!

This year, May 17th is gonna be Chinko de Mayo. Only 12 more days till the big party! But first... London!!

¡Feliz Cinco de Mayo! @ 18:26

May 2, 2008

[broken balls] Conversation at lunch with a straight female co-worker (FCW):

Random comment:: Name something that people don't talk about in public
Me:: Like, shaving your balls?
FCW:: Eww, who does that?
Me:: Doesn't your bf shave his balls?
FCW:: Err, no...
Me:: Really? Eww... You should do it for him
FCW:: Eww, no! If I break it, do I have to buy it??

Hags are so much fun. @ 15:24

May 1, 2008

[most unpopular] WaPo's "Five Years After 'Mission Accomplished'":

Much has happened in the five years since President Bush flew aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln aircraft carrier in "Top Gun" style, stood under a banner proclaiming "Mission Accomplished" and proudly declared: "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended."

Five years ago, 139 American troops had died in Iraq. Now that number is 4,064. Five years ago, 542 American troops had been wounded in Iraq. Now that number is 29,395.

Five years ago, the national debt was $6.5 trillion. Now it's $9.3 trillion. Five years ago, your average gallon of gas cost $1.44. Now it costs $3.57. Five years ago, Bush's job-approval rating was at 70 percent. Now it's at 28.

Five years ago, Bush's appearance on the carrier was widely hailed as a brilliant PR move, imbuing the president with the aura of a conquering hero. Now, it's possibly the single most potent image of Bush's hubris.

One thing that's not so different: Five years ago, there were about 150,000 American troops in Iraq. Now there are slightly more.

Love it!

And how much did we LOVE this 50-foot replica of the Mission Accomplished banner that antiwar protesters unfurled at the White House?

And Sen. Byrd's floor speech yesterday was no less fabulous:

"Years from now, I expect that history books will feature the sorry 'Mission Accomplished' episode as the epitome of this administration's reckless and arrogant foreign policy, which has reaped disastrous consequences for our nation and the world...

"President Bush has recklessly squandered more than 200 years of American leadership, good will, and prosperity. If that is what he was aiming for when he took office, then he can claim 'Mission Accomplished.' That is his legacy."

So it brings me silent pleasure to read about the new CNN poll that suggests... no, reaffirms that President Bush is the most unpopular president in modern American history.

71% of the American public disapprove of how Bush is handling his job as president. No president has ever had a higher disapproval rating in any CNN or Gallup poll, and no president's disapproval rating has ever cracked the 70% mark.

His only consolation prize is that his approval rating -- 28% -- remains better than the all-time lows set by Harry Truman (22%) and Richard Nixon (24%). But even Truman and Nixon never got a disapproval rating in the 70s. The previous all-time record in CNN or Gallup polling was set by Truman, 67% disapproval in January 1952.

President Bush is more unpopular than even Richard Nixon was just before he resigned from the presidency in August 1974, when his disapproval rating was at 66%.

It is already beyond reasonable doubt in my mind that Bush is the worst president in American history, but that distinction is so much not enough. No, it isn't. I frankly couldn't give a flying fuck if the whole world disapproves of him. Not after all that he has done to this country, the American people, the Iraqis and the citizens of this planet. An opinion poll telling me what I already know is not going to cut it. No, sirree. I will not be completely satisfied until he has been dragged to the ICC in The Hague and tried for war crimes.

"W" is for War Criminal. "W" is for Waterboarder. "W" is for Worst Ever. "W" is for Wretched. @ 23:19

[ridiculously cheap] This article -- U.S. gas: So cheap it hurts -- says it all:

"Despite daily headlines bemoaning record gas prices, the U.S. is actually one of the cheaper places to fill up in the world. Out of 155 countries surveyed, U.S. gas prices were the 45th cheapest..."

"The difference is staggering. As of late March, U.S. gas prices averaged $3.45 a gallon. That compares to over $8 a gallon across much of Europe..."

"Gasoline costs roughly the same to make no matter where in the world it's produced... The difference in retail costs, he said, is that some governments subsidize gas while others tax it heavily."

"In many oil producing nations gas is absurdly cheap. In Venezuela it's 12 cents a gallon. In Saudi Arabia it's 45."

"In the U.S., the federal tax on gas is 18.4 cents a gallon, pretty low by international standards."

"But those relatively low gas taxes make it hard now for Americans to deal with gas prices that have risen from around $1 to over $3 a gallon in the last seven years."

"Revenues from Europe's high gas taxes are used to fund a variety of things. One thing they have built is better public transportation... Oil use in the United Kingdom has basically stayed flat from 1980 to now, while in France it's dropped 17%..."

"In the U.S., meanwhile, oil use is up 21% over the same period... Americans have taken advantage of cheap gas prices to do other things - like buy bigger cars and bigger houses further away from city centers."

"On a per capita basis, Americans use three times more oil than Europeans... That means Americans are more exposed to rising gas prices than their counterparts across the Atlantic."

"Five-thousand square feet in the suburbs, that's much rarer in Europe. We dug our hole."

We need to curb consumption, not encourage it. We need to reduce our dependency on oil from rogue nations, not be more hooked on it like black crack. People should start paying for the damage they are causing to the environment. People should start realizing that bigger and better (homes, cars, etc.) only serves one purpose -- themselves. Me-me-me has to stop (OMB, did I just say that??). We need to start acting like responsible global citizens. Raise the gas tax now!

Clinton and McCain are both kwazy for calling for a gas tax holiday from Memorial to Labor. Shamless pandering. I agree with Obama when he said this about the gas tax holiday: "It's not an idea to get you through the summer. It's an idea to get them through an election."

Amen to this act of political courage. @ 20:48

[ineligible] "Ineligible" is one word that most human beings don't like to hear/see. Who doesn't want to belong or be entitled to something? Who doesn't like to hear the word "Yes" or any other form of affirmation?

Well, as it turns out, "ineligible" is the answer you most want to see when you log on to DC Courts - Juror Services to fill out your Juror Qualification Form.

I about fell off my knees when I got a Jury Summons to report to Petit Jury (not Grand Jury, thank God!) on June 4th at, *gasp*, 8:00am! *clutches pearls and faints in horreur*

By order of the Chief Judge of the Superior Court of the District of Columbia, you are hereby summoned to serve as a juror as indicated below. Please complete the enclosed Juror Qualification Form and return it within five (5) days. Failure to appear as directed by this summons may result in a fine of not more than three hundred dollars ($300) or imprisonment for not more than seven (7) days or both. D.C. Code 11-1906.

This was pretty momentous as I have never, in my life, been summoned to jury duty before. Not in Malaysia (I was too young, perhaps?) and certainly not here. Nor did I think I would ever be, at least not until I became a US citizen. And as you all know by now, my citizenship application has been mired in red tape and morass called USCIS for the past 22 months now. Tragic.

Aaaaanyho, I was like, "WTTF? (What the tranny fuck?) They can't summon me to jury duty if I'm not a citizen!"

Sure enough, the first question they ask you in the online qualification form is "Are you a citizen of the United States?", and on the side it says "Only United States citizens are eligible to serve as D.C. Superior Court jurors."

As soon as I hit "No", it comes back and says:

Thank you for completing the eligibility sectino of the Juror Questionnaire form. You have been determined ineligible to serve as a Superior Court juror. You should not report on the summons date for the following reason:

Not a US citizen

I have never been so happy to NOT be a US citizen in my life.

Happy May Day / Labour Day! @ 20:28

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