MAY 31 :: [memorial day] A poignant tribute to lives lost defending America, liberty and freedom by the NYT Editorial:

"Today, each generation looks back to its own war - World War II, Korea, Vietnam, the gulf war and Iraq. In each of those wars, a soldier's death was final, the sense of duty and service as acute as in any other war. In that sense, the meaning of those deaths has not changed over time. What is different, for each of those wars, is the sense of national necessity that lay behind them. Some of America's wars have truly been fought for the very principles that underpin this nation's existence. Others have not. But nothing can dishonor the dead, not even the failures of the living."

MAY 28 :: [attack!] Krugman, NYT does it again.

"The truth is that the character flaws that currently have even conservative pundits fuming have been visible all along. Mr. Bush's problems with the truth have long been apparent to anyone willing to check his budget arithmetic. His inability to admit mistakes has also been obvious for a long time."

"...some journalists just couldn't bring themselves to believe that the president of the United States was being dishonest about such grave matters... After 9/11, if you were thinking of saying anything negative about the president, you had to be prepared for an avalanche of hate mail. You had to expect right-wing pundits and publications to do all they could to ruin your reputation, and you had to worry about being denied access to the sort of insider information that is the basis of many journalistic careers. The Bush administration, knowing all this, played the press like a fiddle."

"Amazing things have been happening lately. The usual suspects have tried to silence reporting about prison abuses by accusing critics of undermining the troops - but the reports keep coming. The attorney general has called yet another terror alert - but the press raised questions about why. (At a White House morning briefing, Terry Moran of ABC News actually said what many thought during other conveniently timed alerts: "There is a disturbing possibility that you are manipulating the American public in order to get a message out.")"

Scathing. I love it! Keep the attacks coming. Don't stop. The press and the opposition should do all they can to pummel this President into the ground. This President does not deserve to be shielded or sugar-coated. He should be held accountable for every single lie, every single deception, every single abuse. Bring it on!

Hmm, I'm trying out this new format whereby the quotes I "steal" are away from the margin. I think it makes for better reading. It's Friday before Memorial Day weekend. The locals have left (for the beach!) and the visitors are here en-masse (for the WWII Memorial dedication tomorrow). Happy long weekend!

[attack part deux] Al Gore at NYU 5/27/04:

"George W. Bush promised us a foreign policy with humility. Instead, he has brought us humiliation in the eyes of the world... [The war in Iraq] is the worst strategic fiasco in the history of the United States. It is an unfolding catastrophe without any comparison... It's not the central front in the war on terror, but it has unfortunately become the central recruiting office for terrorists... He planted the seeds of war, and harvested a whirlwind... abuse of the prisoners at Abu Ghraib flowed directly from the abuse of the truth that characterized the Administration's march to war and the abuse of the trust that had been placed in President Bush by the American people in the aftermath of September 11th... These horrors were the predictable consequence of policy choices that flowed directly from this administration's contempt for the rule of law."

"...what makes the United States special in the history of nations is our commitment to the rule of law and our carefully constructed system of checks and balances. Our natural distrust of concentrated power and our devotion to openness and democracy are what have lead us as a people to consistently choose good over evil in our collective aspirations more than the people of any other nation."

"I want to speak on behalf of those Americans who feel that President Bush has betrayed our nation's trust, those who are horrified at what has been done in our name, and all those who want the rest of the world to know that we Americans see the abuses that occurred in the prisons of Iraq, Afghanistan, Guantanamo and secret locations as yet undisclosed as completely out of keeping with the character and basic nature of the American people and at odds with the principles on which America stands."

Bob Herbert, NYT OP-ED 5/28/04:

"In the view of Mr. Gore (and many others), the essential problem has been the triumph in the Bush crowd of ideology over reality. The true believers knew everything better than everybody else, and the arrogance born of that certainty led, step by tragic step, to the war with no exit doors that we are locked in today. That arrogance gave rise to the Bush doctrine of pre-emptive war, the contempt for international agreements like the Geneva Conventions, the dismissal of concerns by some of the highest-ranking military professionals about the way a war in Iraq should be fought and the willingness of top administration figures to blow smoke in the eyes of ordinary Americans who were traumatized by Sept. 11 and worried about the possibility of further terrorist attacks."

"These and other matters are transforming the United States into a country that is more warlike, more brutal, less free, less just, less admirable and much less appealing than the nation that existed when Mr. Bush stepped into the presidency in January 2001."

MAY 27 :: [cicada mania] I just had the most harrowing drive to work ever. I was attacked! By cicada dive-bombers! Kamikaze cicadas! It was like they were using my car as a punching bag, one by one slamming into the body of my car. One smashed right into my windshield in an area where neither one of the wiper blades could get to (yes, they are yellow on the inside). Aahhhh! 66 and the toll road are infested with cicadas. They were buzzing around like an ominous cloud of hideous insects. Nasty, nasty, nasty.

OK, you may think I'm being a drama queen about all this but lemme tell ya, when I first moved here almost 7 years ago now, I was never told about this! I have had to endure ice storms, hurricanes, tornadoes, pollen and eveything else that nature has to throw at me; none of which existed in Malaysia. And now this?! They should put it in a handbook for potential residents of this country! Nature is definitely more freaky in the United States. I'm already dreading my ride home. Top is definitely staying up!

[patriot tax] Thomas L. Friedman, NYT OP-ED Columnist:

"Is there anything dumber than the Bush campaign ads chastising John Kerry for once favoring a gasoline tax? Had we imposed a Patriot Tax a year ago, gasoline might still cost $2 a gallon today, but 50 cents of that would have gone to paying for American schools rather than Saudi madrassas."

"...the war on terrorism is a long-term war on radical Islam - and while force is necessary in that effort, it is not sufficient. We have to connect all of the above dots to strengthen Arab-Muslim moderates, because only they can take on their extremists. Unfortunately, the Bush team reacted to 9/11 as if all the old rules and methods had to go. I believe 9/11 was gigantic. But the old rule book - emphasizing allies, the Geneva Conventions, self-sacrifice, economic development, education, Arab-Israeli diplomacy - was and remains our greatest source of strength in the effort to promote gradual reform in the regions most likely to breed threats to our open society."

And he quotes David Rothkopf, visiting scholar at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace:

"...a style of U.S. leadership that seeks to build our base of support worldwide by getting more people to voluntarily sign onto our values. We need to remember that those values are the real foundation for our security and the real source of our strength. And we need to recognize that our enemies can never defeat us only we can defeat ourselves, by throwing out the rule book that has worked for us for a long, long time."

We cannot and should not compromise any of our values in the name of the war on terror. There is no justification ever for purposeful deception to launch a needless war, none for an inhumane occupation of another people, and there is no excuse for torture, ever.

MAY 26 :: [idol lukewarm] So, the American Idol finale is on right now. Latoya just finished singing If You Don't Know Me By Now at the outdoor stage. And, what can I say... Who cares who wins tonight. Latoya is *the* American Idol. Brilliant performance. Last night's performances by the finalists were OK. Fantasia clearly outclassed Diana but who knows how America voted. But then again, who cares :)

And what are all these women wearing?? Paula Abdul's outfit is good-Lord (can you say "floatation devices"?), Jennifer Love whatever and Kelly Clarkson both look like whores. And who put that skirt on Latoya?? OMG, I can't believe they let Jasmine sing again. No talent, absolutely dreadful performance. OMG, did Tamyra just butcher our national anthem? Yikes. Doesn't Ruben look like he ate Clay? OMG, what on earth is Simon doing leaving his shirt unbuttoned all the way down to his pubes?! Don't stand up!

Yay, Fantasia! Good job, Diana. What a sweet ending.

MAY 25 :: [bugs and smells] OK, I'm officially a cicada-phobe. And route 123 through McLean is my cicada-hell. If you drive through that route everyday, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Now, imagine you have your top down. Yes, it's like driving through a deafening sound tunnel. Tree canopies all along the route with cicadas buzzing everywhere. At one point, I rolled the windows up (yes, all of 'em) and ducked into my seat so that my head won't stick out and catch a cicada flying aimlessly and blindly from one side of the street to another as if they're visiting their cousins from another "section". Aahhhh! I have no idea how many I hit today with my car but they were just EVERYWHERE. I have dishonorably designated route 123 as Cicada Alley.

On the flip side, I am extremely pleased to say that my house (and most of DC south of Dupont Circle) is cicada-free. Even Rock Creek Park is relatively free of cicadas (thank God). Things may change tomorrow (as they have dramatically on a day-by-day basis in Northern Virginia) but for now, Dupont Circle is a haven for cicada-phobes like myself. I'm quite insane actually. I have no idea why I'm terrified of these little, harmless but noisy bugs. I just dislike all bugs. Thinking of them makes my skin crawl. Have you heard my cockroach fortress story?

And then there's the odor in the basement. Yes, something has died in our basement. We don't know what, we don't know where. The odor is overpowering; if smells could be measured in decibels, it would reach a cicada-deafening roar. Neutralizing the decaying odor (yes, stop gagging) with pine salt is almost as repulsive and rancid as the original odor. And I'm stuck here typing away in the basement with no end in sight to this bug/odor madness. Months from now, I'm gonna look back and wonder what all the fuss is about. But right now, it feels like Aahhhhhhhhhhh!! There, I feel better... almost.

[where is the media?] From Howard Kurtz of the WP's Media Notes:

"At the beginning, it just looked like some sexual taunting and ritual humiliation, which was bad enough. But now the media are uncovering pictures in which soldiers appear to be hitting the prisoners. Now we know that three prisoners died after interrogation, under circumstances that can only be regarded as suspicious. Now we're hearing about about prisoners forced to denounce Islam or force-fed pork and liquor. Now we're learning that Rummy ordered tough interrogation tactics for the Gitmo detainees and that some of these may have been transferred to Iraq. Now we're discovering that senior officials knew months ago about the Red Cross reports of abuse and did nothing about them."

"And now we're realizing that lots of soldiers knew about the abuse, saw pictures of the abuse, in one case used such a picture as a computer screen saver--and did nothing."

"...the latest Iraqi prisoner photos are just revolting."

"One set of pictures, obtained by ABC News, show two American soldiers grinning like clowns as they stood over the ice-packed body of a dead Iraqi--one who died after being questioned by U.S. forces."

"I don't want to hear about how the soldiers lacked the proper "training." And I don't want to read any more interviews in which neighbors say how nice they seemed. Anyone with half a brain would find this sort of thing sadistic. And they can't exactly argue that they're trying to extract information from a recalcitrant trainee, since the subject in question is quite clearly deceased."

"Another, in this morning's Washington Post, has a soldier using a big dog to threaten a prisoner with hands tied behind him."

Enough to make you sick to your stomach...

[arrogant and insolent] Oh my god, was that the "we are right, you are wrong, we don't need new policies, stupid" speech last night?

It took more than a year for this Administration (and for freedom-loving people all over this country) to realize that the military occupation of Iraq is wrong? Gimme a break. Last night, Bush again linked the war on Iraq with the war on terror. Would this man ever stop using anything to justify war, force and violence? And when will this country stop hallucinating that the whole world wants democracy? We don't know that they do and beating them into submission is not going to make them want it. How democratic is it for us to force it down other people's throats?? This imperialist, colonialist attitude has to cease immediately.

After weeks of horrible blunders and more violence, assassinations, murders, prison torture, confusion and everything that can possibly go wrong due to a brain-dead war plan, the President didn't even come close to delivering on his promises of "concrete steps" last night - How much? How long? Simple questions without simple answers from this simple-minded Administration. Instead, he chose to regurgitate the same miserably failed defense and foreign policy and continued to lie point-blank in front of the American people about this being a part of the war against terror.

In Bush's noble but misguided goal of spreading democracy across the Middle East, we have lost track of who our enemies really are. Instead we are fighting the same people we fought to liberate because they feel that we are subverting them now.

There is absolutely no humility in this White House to admit shortcomings or failures. How else to explain such a misguided policy than arrogance and insolence?

MAY 24 :: [countdown to summer] Well, summer is officially around the corner! Actually, if you live in DC, it's already here. It was 90+ all weekend which made for a steamy and sweltering party on Saturday night. The party was a success (I think?). We ran out of mojitos and food (yes, I'm a terrible hostess) but all in all, people were well fed and liquored. We ended up having TWO disco balls on our deck (no thanks to M2) and the Japanese paper lanterns were awesome. The catered food from Rice was amazing! Very spicy but absolutely amazing. I think we had 70 people? Who knows... it was crowded and it was hot and there were lots of pairs going upstairs (and downstairs!) plus lots of sordid moments. I don't kiss and tell :) Anyways, it was just the way a party should be!

On my birthday night itself, we went over to Rob/Mikko's with Chris and hooked them up with some RAM. Later, we went to Dupont Grille and celebrated with M2, RickG and MG (which was a good thing since the latter two couldn't make it to my big party). That was a fun and crazy night. The maitre d' recognized me and put us in a private room and gave me a free birthday dessert! How fun :)

Tony made my special dinner on Friday and soon after that, we began setting up for the party. By the time the party rolled around on Saturday night, I was too tired and exhausted to enjoy myself. The cleanup started at 2:30am when the last guests left and we did not get the house in order till 5pm Sunday! Thank God the cleaners are here today. I could swear I'm never throwing another party again but that would be lying :) I was too stressed out for the most part but I'm glad everyone else had a good time. Last night, we went to JR's with Rob/Mikko, Kevin/Dan and met up with people there. It was a fun night and a perfect end to a crazy weekend. Speaking of weekends and outdoors, I have officially seen three cicadas. I hear them everywhere (not in DC though) but I haven't seen any! Isn't that weird??

Atlanta beckons this weekend. Summer officially starts when I dunk myself into Shelley's pool!!!

MAY 20 :: [27] Yes, I turn 27 today. What's there to say? I'm old. Sigh. The girls took me to my favorite lunch place: PF Chang's! I had some salt and pepper prawn thing that was absolutely delicious. Waiter brings a free fried-banana-with-ice-cream dessert that was way OTT and way yummy. He apparently figured my birthday out by reading my driver's license (I got carded for ordering a mojito... I guess I'm still young after all!). I was like, "whatever!". Finally, Nicole fessed up and said she had told the waiter about it. She's such a sneaky bitch. I got a new messenger bag from Nicole! Yay! That, plus my iPod mini is gonna change the way I travel.

Anyway, there's not much to write about until my fun evening planned for tonight and the crazy Saturday night bash at our house. In between, Tony's gonna make me a fab Friday night birthday dinner. I guess I don't have much to complain about huh? 27 is a good number.

MAY 19 :: [fiscal irresponsibility] Senator John McCain (R-AZ) at a Forum on the Fiscal Crisis 5/18/04:

"I am a proud Republican. I'm a Barry Goldwater Republican. I revere Ronald Reagan and his party of limited government. Sadly, that party is no longer. The current version of the Republican party is engaged in an outrageous spending binge and they're being steadied and encouraged by the Democrats... Ten years ago, in 1994, Republicans won control of both Houses of Congress. For one brief shining moment, we employed true fiscal restraint and eventually managed to balance the budget and even attain that which had seemed unattainable - a surplus! Now, at a time of national crisis, we have thrown caution to the wind and continue to spend, and spend, and spend - all the while cutting taxes. The perfect evidence of this is the number of Congressional earmarks found in the 13 annual appropriations bills. In 1994 there were 4,126 earmarks - this year there were 14,040 earmarks. Where are our priorities?"

And Andrew Sullivan puts it succinctly:

"The Republican party is now committed to chronic fiscal irresponsibility, the micro-managing of people's private lives, the subjugation of political to religious discourse, and the politicization of the Constitution. In so many ways, it is an insult to the word `conservative'."

[pandering] Oh puh-leez! What was the Kerry campaign thinking when they whined about high gas prices and scolded the Administration for not releasing the petroleum reserves? Those reserves are there when supply is disrupted, not to influence market prices! Besides, high gas prices reflect our over-consumption and unquenchable thirst of a finite resource. Higher prices will lead to conservation thereby protecting the environment. That's a no-brainer for a Democratic presidential candidate to support. Higher prices are not a national emergency. Stop playing politics with it. Kerry's economic policies so far are not very impressive. Most of them are pretty brain-dead. His tirade against free trade and outsourcing is also beginning to wear me down. Why, oh why can't they stop pandering to the public and stop saying things that people want to hear? Gees...

MAY 18 :: [cicadas?] I'm gonna regret writing this but where are the cicadas? Don't get me wrong, I'm *SO* glad they're not in my neighborhood. But I thought they were supposed to be? Everyone I know is walking around the millions of cicadas in their driveway. They even have cicadas climbing up their walls! I can hear them on my drive to and from work. I even bought a gazebo to shield my guests this Saturday from the elements. Oh well, it may rain instead so that thing should come in handy. Now, I'm kinda worried that we don't have enough food for the party. Maybe I need to up the order. We got killer chocolate cakes from yummy CakeLove. And we're expecting 60 people? Who knows. This is gonna be a party weekend!

A poignant quote to share on an extraordinary and historic day - May 17th:

"I've watched the ceremony. I've watched the love and commitment. I've watched, not a celebration of political victory or queer pride but the triumph of committed human beings in love. Indeed the triumph of basic humanity."

MAY 17 :: [freedom to marry] "Today, May 17 2004, will be forever remembered as the day our country took an enormous step forward in our journey towards true equality."

Massachusetts... Even the name of the state has a sweet ring to it right now. Much has already been said about this historic day in MA. We are here. Finally.

It's hard to answer the question: "Do I want to get married?". For me, with my cultural heritage in mind, marriage is bigger than just me and Tony. It's a celebration that involves hundreds including family, extended family, friends, family friends, etc. (you know the whole Chinese wedding banquet story). And because of that, it's not so simple to answer that question. My family will never approve of me staging a public wedding with everyone we know in attendance. It just won't happen.

But on the flip side, marriage is very personal. It's a declaration of the strongest bond between two human beings. It's a declaration of eternal and timeless love. It could be the happiest day of our lives. It's hard to imagine being denied this moment.

And then there's the civil aspect of it: 1,049 benefits, responsibilities and protections afforded under federal law on the basis of marital status. Can you believe I'm not allowed to visit Tony in the hospital or make any medical/financial decisions on his behalf? You can't imagine that happening to you or your spouse.

So do I want to get married? Maybe, maybe not. But today marks the day when it becomes a choice to me, to us, and to millions of same-sex couples out there whose only goals are to strengthen their bonds of love and obtain equal protection under the law. The freedom to marry is as important to me as it is for you.

MAY 16 :: [hope and despair] Washington Post columnist, Fred Hiatt, in "Shadow of the U.S. Beacon" writes about the world's hope and despair in America's hands.

"The first victims of U.S. prison abuse at Abu Ghraib were Iraqis. But those who will pay a price also live in Libya and Hong Kong, Venezuela and Burma, and anywhere else human rights are in jeopardy. They will pay a price because America's capacity to stand up to dictators, and stand up for their victims, is the lowest it has been in memory."

"... Dictators forever have sought to deflect criticism by playing to anti-Americanism... They will say that slave-owning, Indian-eradicating, dictator-propping America was never anything but a fraudulent champion of human rights."

"But if you could ask the dissidents and human rights champions who over the decades, in isolated prison cells and frozen work camps, have somehow gotten word that U.S. diplomats or presidents had not forgotten them; if you could ask the elected leader of Burma, who is still under house arrest; or the peasants who are being chased from their villages in western Sudan, or the democrats being slowly squashed in Hong Kong by the Communists in Beijing -- if you could ask any of them, you might get a different answer. They might tell you that the United States has never been perfect, has never done enough, has never been free of hypocrisy -- but also that if America cannot take up their cause, no one will."

America stands for hope in this world, no matter how imperfect this nation is. And it'll take more than a prison torture scandal to change my mind.

MAY 15 :: [till death do us part] Our dear friends, Gary and Mike, got married today in a civil ceremony in Toronto, Canada. We were not in attendance but I bet it was every bit as emotional and celebratory as any other wedding we've all been to. What's not to celebrate? When two people love each other and pronounce that love in front of their friends and family, it's definitely a reason to celebrate. Vowing to love each other "till death do us part" is probably one of the strongest bonds in the human race.

Nonetheless, the occasion is somewhat bittersweet. They had to go to Canada to exchange their vows because the United States does not recognize same-sex marriages. Massachusetts will change that in 2 days but the uncertainty of inter-state/federal recognition plus the impending constitutional amendment clouds the future of same-sex marriages in that state. Say what you want about two people of the same-sex getting married. You can call it a homosexual agenda, or an activist movement. You can say it destroys family or weakens marriage. But until you can see the purity and the sanctity of the emotion of love that these two people have for each other, you may wish to reserve judgement for when you can reasonably understand that their love is given as truly as yours is. And when you do, ask yourself: why would you want to deny two people a lifelong of happy and love-filled marriage just because they happen to be of the same sex? In the meantime, come celebrate with me and celebrate our love :) For love conquers all and love is the reason.

[what i think of republicans] I don't hate Republicans. In fact, some of them are intriguing, fascinating and infinitely more intellectual than others (and some you don't realize they're from the "dark side" until you get to know and like them... *sigh*). I don't hate Bush-supporters either, but I have absolutely no respect for them. I'm gonna quote myself, something I wrote on Mar 4: "I can see eye-to-eye with fiscal conservatism and a little less so with social conservatism but I have absolutely no respect for people who support a President that attacks the constitution, curbs civil rights and lies to start murderous wars. And the next person who tells me they vote Republican coz of fiscal issues should take a look at the fastest build-up of debt and the greatest spending explosion in history and more government spending than any administration since LBJ. All this under Bush's watch." - Is that a good enough explaination?

MAY 14 :: [accountability] Senator Pat Roberts (R-KS), Senate Intelligence Committee Chairman:

"Almost three years after 9/11, no one in the intelligence community has been disciplined, let alone fired. Almost two years since the publication of the October 2002 National Intelligence Estimate that declared Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction and was reconstituting his nuclear program, no one has been disciplined or fired... In fighting the global war against terrorism, we need to restrain what are growing U.S. messianic instincts -- a sort of global social engineering where the United States feels it is both entitled and obligated to promote democracy -- by force, if necessary."

You know how I *LOVE* scathing op-eds against Bush? Well, here's one from staunchly pro-war Thomas Friedman of the NYT:

"...why did the president praise Mr. Rumsfeld rather than fire him? Because Karl Rove says to hold the conservative base, you must always appear to be strong, decisive and loyal. It is more important that the president appear to be true to his team than that America appear to be true to its principles... Add it all up, and you see how we got so off track in Iraq, why we are dancing alone in the world - and why our president, who has a strong moral vision, has no moral influence."

Ahh, I love it! All this is coming from the President's staunchest allies. The Police Union just dumped Bush for Kerry today. The President's approval ratings are (finally) sliding into negative territory. I want nothing more than for this President to go. So this is all very good news indeed.

And finally, here's a priceless quote on Bush's so-called "strong moral vision": "A vision based on moral superiority and forced upon people with military invasion based on lies and decepton hardly qualifies as moral".

Amen.

[i miss latoya] Yes, I do. The more I listen to her music (thanks to idolonfox.com and mp3 :)), the more I feel her voice stirs an emotion inside me that's hard to describe - something so sweet yet so powerful. And I wanna share that all with you. So here are Somewhere and All By Myself. I know it's borderline illegal to post mp3s on the internet, but until the RIAA or Fox tells me to take it down, I'm gonna leave it here coz I love Latoya!!

Good God, it's hotter than Valhalla today with no end in sight. Summer has arrived with barely a hint of spring. Traffic was abysmal today too (as it is usually on Friday). I drove to Alexandria to have lunch with Tony and the Beltway was so bad I decided to work from home instead. Yea, I'm a slacker. It took me 20 minutes to go one exit! Plus, coming home from Reston would surely be just as bad in the evening. Better to play it safe *wink*. Frasier last night was fantastic. I laughed my ass off. The ending was pretty emotional and quite surprising. Will there be another spin-off? If the sharp and intelligent wit comes back, I'm all for it! I'm so glad it's Friday...

MAY 13 :: [ipod mini] Yay!!! I got a blue iPod mini today! My birthday present (from Tony) came a week early. It's awesome. It's the tiniest, lightest, cutest thing ever. I love it. I haven't really been coveting one but now that I have it, it rocks! I am SO over lugging around my MP3-CD player (which is the size of a pizza box).

So talk about news overload day, huh? Gandhi wins, Roh is reinstated, fake photos, spending limits, Frasier farewell, American Idol farce, war money... phew!

[unbelievable] I still can't believe it. Latoya London was voted off American Idol last night. She did not deserve to be voted off. While she may not have a unique voice or an electric personality, she had amazing talent. Gurl can sing. She can carry a note and carry it till you can't believe she can carry it any longer and she continues to do so. When I saw her perform "All By Myself" during the round of 32, I was moved to tears and convinced she would be the eventual winner. Well, maybe not the winner but she certainly did not deserved to be voted off after Jasmine's lackluster performance in the Final Four on Tuesday. Jasmine is good but not great. I have to admit the hairs on the back of my neck (all two of them) stand up when I hear her butcher some songs.

This show is no longer credible. Hawaii voted so many times that the results were skewed and it went from a talent competition to a beauty pageant. I was wrong: America is not deaf, Hawaii is. I love you, Latoya! You will always be my American Idol. Like Tamyra before you, you're gonna be a star. And thank you for sharing your talent with America.

MAY 11 :: [looking up] Things are looking up today! The euphoria from the weekend really took a hard landing when things fell back down to earth yesterday. One of our dear friends, M2, was missing for 36 hours and we were frantically looking for him all day yesterday. Well, he has been found at a local jail somewhere (giggle). All's well. I was also kinda bummed that Rick hasn't called but I think we'll be seeing him tomorrow so that's looking up too. And finally, we're going to Rob/Mikko's for an American Idol party! Woo! I need something light-hearted for a change. And apparently, so does Tony after his 66-in-a-45 zone $150 (!!!) speeding ticket! I wonder if this will mean the end of the constant lectures on my speeding habits :)

So did you read George Will's column in the WP today? I always thought he was a conservative, right-wing quack. No longer. You should read his searing but controlled response to the prison torture story today in the WP which consists of one axiom, one principle, two questions and then a second axiom. The biting words he chooses leap out of the page with stunning force. Definitely an intellectual conservative. And so I quote:

"The first axiom is: When there is no penalty for failure, failures proliferate. Leave aside the question of who or what failed before Sept. 11, 2001. But who lost his or her job because the president's 2003 State of the Union address gave currency to a fraud -- the story of Iraq's attempting to buy uranium in Niger? Or because the primary and only sufficient reason for waging preemptive war -- weapons of mass destruction -- was largely spurious? Or because postwar planning, from failure to anticipate the initial looting to today's insufficient force levels, has been botched? Failures are multiplying because of choices for which no one seems accountable."

"The principle is: The response by the nation's government must express horror, shame and contrition proportional to the evil done to others, and the harm done to the nation, by agents of the government."

And you must read the rest up to and including his subtle call for Rumsfeld's resignation by invoking a second axiom which he credits to Charles de Gaulle: "The graveyards are full of indispensable men". Absolutely brilliant.

MAY 10 :: [profound failure] Phew! This is a record. 4 sub-thoughts in one day. Giggle. But the President's ringing endorsement of Rumsfeld today threw me over the edge, even if I didn't think Rumsfeld should go. Torture is not to be congratulated. You can't praise ignorance and you can't call it "a superb job" when post-war Iraq is nothing but an avalanche of miserable policy failures. This is just another example of the many revolting and despicable actions emanating from Bush's presidency. A presidency that has been marked with a string of profound failures.

Bush continues to claim he is a steady leader. There is nothing steady about his leadership when under his watch, our noble goal of liberating Iraq from a repugnant regime has turned into a brutal, humiliating, imperialist and racist occupation. So many compounding errors later, the President is refusing to hold anyone accountable. In fact, he is praising them. Leadership is about acknowledging errors and misjudgements. Leadership is about credibility. There is nothing steady about being steadfastly arrogant, oblivious and deceptive. And even less so when there are human lives involved. Shame on you, Mr. President, for not having the steady leadership to recognize that.

[mothers] This is belated, I know. I was so pre-occupied with doing things yesterday that this just completely slipped my mind. It might sound sorta arrogant for me to say this from a perspective of someone who has never been (or will ever be) a mother but the only thing that's important to remember on Mother's Day, in my humble opinion, is to love each other unconditionally. For a child, there's no better gift than a mother's unconditional love. The strength from that love will carry the child through his/her most doubtful teenage (or adult) years with self-loving esteem. Even when you're disciplining your child, let him/her know that no matter what, you will always love them. A mother's love is sometimes the only thing to fall back on when everything else is going wrong in this world. It is important for them to know that you'll always be there for them.

And vice-versa. I will never doubt my mother's love. No matter what I do, who I am or how much I screw up. The unconditional love goes both ways. Yes, love conquers all. I love you, Mom. Thanks for everything and more.

[sunday crazy sunday] Talk about a jam-packed weekend! Tony and I celebrated our anniversary at Gerard's Place. Great French food. I'm not a big fan of traditional French but it was enjoyable. Note to self: you are not a fan of French wines :) Anywho, all that was after we dropped $400 buying liquor at Calvert-Woodley. After dinner, we joined the tail-end of Chris/Dave's vegetarian dinner party and was tickled to death that this "blog" was a source of controversy *wink*

Sunday... It was as hot as the stairway to hell! And muggy to boot. Yucky weather but glorious sunshine (same as today only it's even more scorching today!). Well, I laid hands on two copies of the Gay & Lesbian Atlas by Gary Gates and Jason Ost. Fabulous. Great book, fantastic cover and awesome maps. The mimosas helped me give that glowing review, of course :) Anywho, that became a soaking-up-the-sun session at The Circle with M2/Roberto, Chris/Dave and then it progressed to a dinner party at Tom/Gen's with Mike/Gary, Rob/Mikko. Fabulous food, great conversation, perfect company, and did I mention the Grande Dame champagne and the 150th-anniversary Grand Marnier?! Looooordy, it was quite a decadent way to end the weekend. And in between, there were visits from Texas Erik and Maine Rick and pollen and baby squirrels and 17-year cicadas, oh my! Anyway, too much happened, don't want to ramble, back to Monday blues (which are tempered somewhat by the exceedingly good weekend). Woo!

[ebay whore] So I've turned into somewhat of an eBay whore these past few weeks. First there were the stainless steel containers (to replace our yucky plastic tupperware for sugar, flour, etc.). Then it was the refurbished Sharper Image floor fan that also ionizes (half price!) and today, I got my disco ball! Yes, you read that right. I purchased a 12-in disco ball for the upcoming party. Yea, baby!

MAY 8 :: [seven] Seven years ago, Tony and I met in London after months of trans-Atlantic cyber-courtship. I remember the first time we met, the first dinner we had, the first time we made love, the smells, the scenery, the sounds, everything. I remember it all as if it happened yesterday. And to think that the past 7 years has just flown by says to me that I have never felt more comfortable, loved and happy in my life. It's hard to describe still being in love seven years later. You have to be there to know it. So I wish you all love; a can't-live-without-each-other love so lasting that it's ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, all-encompassing, and all-fulfilling.

I have no doubt where I'll be in seven years. I love you, Tony.

MAY 6 :: [beautiful end] OMG, Friends has just ended. It was beautiful. I cried *SO* much. When Rachel showed up at the door (though predictable), my heart jumped and I just lost it. Towards the end, you could almost see that Rachel, Monica and Phoebe just couldn't hold their tears any longer. It was touching, it was heart-warming and it was just the perfect ending. A beautiful ending.

The euphoria will end soon. I'm gonna be so bummed by tomorrow. Friends was a huge part of my life. I didn't want it to end but I'd rather it end on top which it did. Saying goodbye was definitely sweet sorrow.

The ending of OC yesterday was also tear-jerking. I definitely cried a river during the instrumental medley at the end accompanying Ryan's departure. I can't wait for the next season to start.

Every ending has a new beginning. Friends' ending, for me, means a new beginning in television-watching. The torch has been passed over to prime-time soap dramas like OC and reality-driven American Idol (OMG, I've totally become a Fox-junkie). I'm excited about the new stuff. Change is good. And I will always have fond memories of things past. Fond memories are just that - a longing for days past but always hopeful for better things to come. Life is such a painful progress. And I love it.

Oh, and they kicked George off last night. It's down to the four lovely ladies. It's beginning to feel predictable. Jasmine is next and then Diana. The toss-up is Fantasia and Latoya. Chris and I had one too many Cosmos after work and we progressed to dinner at Bistrot du Coin (mussels in cream sauce is to die for!) and had even more drinks. After two more drinks at Larry's Lounge, I was plastered at the end of the night. Giggle.

MAY 5 :: [wretched] "These photos show us what we may become, as occupation continues, anger and resentment grows and costs spiral. There's nothing surprising in this. These pictures are pictures of colonial behavior, the demeaning of occupied people, the insult to local tradition, the humiliation of the vanquished. They are unexceptional. In different forms, they could be pictures of the Dutch brutalizing the Indonesians; the French brutalizing the Algerians; the Belgians brutalizing the people of the Congo." - WP StaffWriter Philip Kennicott

We marched brutally and furiously into war based on corrosive lies and now, this? This is the moral high ground we claim and the moral reason for starting this war? Is our safety and our democracy worth the torturing of another human being's life?

What have we become?

[willing torturers] "Precisely because murder and rape and torture are more common during wartime, past U.S. governments have ratified the Geneva Conventions, which were designed to enforce the rule of law, however badly or weakly, during wartime. But although these particular international laws have never been controversial, it has nevertheless became fashionable, in some Washington circles, to argue that America is now somehow above them and to suggest that they need not be taken quite so seriously as in the past. Back in February 2002, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld declared that the prisoners of Guantanamo Bay were not even entitled to a hearing establishing whether the Geneva Convention on prisoners of war applied to them. Perhaps it didn't, but Rumsfeld wasn't willing to prove the case in a court: "The set of facts that exist today with the al Qaeda and the Taliban were not necessarily the set of facts that were considered when the Geneva Convention was fashioned," he claimed."

"...Yes, America is a beacon of democracy. But Americans are still as capable of torture as anyone else. Rumsfeld said yesterday that it was "un-American" to abuse prisoners -- as if Americans were still somehow exempt from the passions that grip the rest of the human race. But we aren't, and because we aren't, we shouldn't dispense with rules that have been designed to contain them." - Anne Applebaum, WP Columnist

MAY 4 :: [inaction] More than anything else, refinancing has been at the front of my thinking brain this past few weeks. Why do we need to refinance? Coz we have a 1-month interest-only ARM! The economy is bouncing back, job numbers are getting better which means inflation fears are returning and rates are inevitably gonna rise. If I hear "you've gotta lock your rate in now!" one more time, I'm gonna jump into the Potomac. Almost everyone we have spoken to thinks that rates are gonna rise; possibly by a lot after the election. But by how much and how far? Rates won't jump because it would damage the incumbent's re-election chances (Greenspan is spineless) and post-election, that would depend on who wins (no one actually thinks the Fed is immune to political pressures... do you?).

So, politics aside, we've decided on inaction. Our current rate is at 2 5/8% and will rise (or fall - wishful thinking!) in tandem with the Fed's actions. We dodged a bullet today - the Fed decided to keep it at 1% but we all know that rate is far too low. We thought about locking in to a 5-yr 5% rate but that doubles our monthly payment. So we decided on doubling our monthly payment but instead of refinancing and being stuck with paying twice as much all in interest, we're gonna keep our current mortgage and continue to pay the low interest payments with the balance going to principal. Cool idea huh? Except now I'm gonna be biting my fingernails each time the Fed meets. We may regret this in 5 years but what's life without a little gamble? Grin. So much for safety in stability.

[end of an era] Friends airs its last episode this Thursday. It's an event for me as it marks the end of a sitcom that I have watched through my years in college and the entire time I've been in the US. Which have also corresponded to the best years of my life. I have derived fun, laughter, happiness, sadness and tears from this show. It sounds shallow but once in awhile, it's good to find escapism from reality (which is quite aggravating at the moment) and Friends is as good as any. Frasier will be ending next week and I used to love the show because of its dry and very intelligent wit but I could definitely relate more to Friends than Frasier. It would be sad this Thursday but I hope Ross and Rachel end up together! Perfect, happy endings are more than what this country needs right now.

Tony leaves for LA tonight which means lots of leftovers for the next few days. Nicole and I had a fabulous lunch at PF Chang's just now (yes, we drove to Tysons for that; how desperate are we for lettuce wraps?!). Very quickly, my weekend was jam-packed with stuff: dim sum at Oriental East was awesome, I have a fun new haircut, Tom/G's housewarming was perfect and dinner at Brad/David's was yummalicious. Sunday brunch with Bruce/Molly was nice at Firefly followed by a hospital visit to see Joe before his angiogram. And of course, the weekend ended with JR's and watching all the cute Cherry boys.

I'm not doing my weekend justice. There was much more drama than just that. I left my sunglasses at Tom/G's, a passionate discussion broke out about the prisoner abuse thing there, Craig called about Joe's "heart attack" while we were dining at Brad/David's, Firefly was a disaster - Cosmo came 3/4 full, OJ came HALF full, and gratuity was included in our bill for 4 ppl! - and Chris, in a fit of poking, sent blood gushing out of my right arm with his fingernails (did I mention he has a staff infection?).

See, my life isn't all fun-filled and birds chirping under a bright blue sky. Sometimes it rains and sometimes it friggin' pours like a m-f-er. Silver linings and dark clouds. Carefree and drama-packed. But one thing's for sure: it's never boring!

MAY 1 :: [may day] May!! And what an exciting start it is. I got invited to a book-signing party! Woo! The book is called "The Gay and Lesbian Atlas" by Gary Gates (one of my best buds). No, this is not a shameless plug for him. And no, I don't know much about the book except that it's an atlas filled with maps (I'm not much into books with lots of words *GRIN*) and I am eternally fascinated with maps. I got my first atlas before I could count so this is very exciting! Plus, I think the design of the book cover is awesome (rainbow-colored dots and all - yea, yea, I'm just a dumb blonde into pretty pictures and things). I'm getting my copy on Mother's Day. Yay!

Pretty pictures aside, this book (in my uninformed opinion) really says we're here. We're here in America. We're your parents, your children, your siblings, your friends, your neighbors. No, you're not alone and no, you're not a second class citizen. We are the face of America. And we're here in large numbers and we're gonna fight for equal rights. All that in a book where your lives, wherever in this great country you may be, are splashed across pages in pretty colors! How fab.

Dim sum with Caroline and her bf from Boston and haircut has now been added to my crazy schedule today. I won't elaborate further but let's just say my weekend is packed and I need to get going! But on my way out, lemme say: Life's a bitch, it keeps moving forward leaving those who dwell on their crappy lives and the baggage associated with it behind. The past is not baggage. Baggage = Experience. It's what you get when you don't get what you want. Makes you stronger for the future. Think life's shitty now? Only you can change it. Stop wasting time. The future, and all the happiness that comes with it, is right around the corner. So turn the flipping corner already! I'd push you myself if I could... and then I'd trip you and laugh coz when you fall, you've gotta keep laughing. Otherwise, you'll only keep falling further behind. Besides, I can't call myself a friend if I don't laugh with you in good times and bad. I love you, Su Ann. Chin up, kay? Peace, love and happiness to all!

More >>

31 :: memorial day
28 :: attack!
28 :: attack part deux
27 :: cicadia mania
27 :: patriot tax
26 :: idol lukewarm
25 :: bugs and smells
25 :: where is the media?
25 :: arrogant and insolent
24 :: countdown to summer
20 :: 27
19 :: fiscal irresponsibility
19 :: pandering
18 :: cicadas
17 :: freedom to marry
16 :: hope and despair
15 :: till death do us part
15 :: what i think of republicans
14 :: accountability
14 :: i miss latoya
13 :: ipod mini
13 :: unbelievable
11 :: looking up
10 :: profound failure
10 :: mothers
10 :: sunday crazy sunday
10 :: ebay whore
08 :: seven
06 :: beautiful end
05 :: wretched
05 :: willing torturers
04 :: inaction
04 :: end of an era
01 :: may day