January 31, 2006

[vincenzo] Thu, Jan 26th After a hard night's of drinking, we took it easy on Thursday night and had a group dinner with more of my ex-high school buddies at an Italian restaurant called Vincenzo located in One Bangsar. Bangsar is an expat neighborhood located between my parents' house and KL, and it is quite the epicenter of cool nightlife, restaurants, and such, not to mention super convenient to the City. Plus, Bangsar basically occupies an entire hill that overlooks the KL skyline. Totally fetch. If I were to move back to KL, I would live in Bangsar.

Anywho, One Bangsar is a strip of detached homes converted into beautiful, hip and happenin' restaurants. The concept is quite cool. We get to the bar - which was neon-lit, stark white and had a phenomenal view of the KL skyline... plus I think I was still drunk from the night before? - and I proceed to order a Cosmo only to be told, yet again, that I couldn't get one. So I perused the menu and discovered that they had ALL the ingredients to make a Cosmo. I looked over at the bar and they not only had martini glasses, they even had a shaker! Grrr.. I needed a Cosmo. Bad. I begged and pleaded but the waiters would have none of it. They refused to make me one coz they couldn't "ring it up" i.e. not on the menu. I was like, WTF? So I get wine (with my whine). So not happy.

SuSu and Su Ann finally show up after their multi-hour beauty sessions (OK, they looked gorgeous) and SuSu brings over the manager and inquires about my Cosmo. Apparently, they didn't want to make me a Cosmo coz the restaurant is new and they didn't have a bartender yet, and making a Cosmo without a bartender is just not good for quality control and their reputation blah blah which is why it's not on the menu... yet. Whatev. I was over it at this point.

And speaking of quality control, the food Sucked! Bad food And bad service *groan*. My RM60 ($16) monkfish dish tasted like shoe leather. Horrendous. The only thing the restaurant had going for it was the lovely ambience (spoilt by the incessive smoking habit that apparently all my friends have picked up these days) and the beautiful space. SuSu and Su Ann's boytoys show up, so did Wei, then Wern (who is perpetually late), and Ann showed up later. We had a riotous dinner talking about our childhood and reminiscing the good ol' MC (high school) days.

I recounted the getting-woken-up-by-the-mosque story followed by the attempts-to-drown-out-the-noise story, and Wern being the perpetually blur chick that she is, blurts out in front of everybody "hah? you guys did it in a mosque??". I almost spit out my wine. I thought we were going to get arrested!

I don't know why I have no pictures from that night. They would've been precious. Nonetheless, it was a tame night. No after parties. But the long CNY-weekend was only just beginning... @ 23:03

[cafe2-zeta-loft] Wed, Jan 25th So let's rewind to 1/25, which kicked off 5 consecutive nights of partying in KL. We met up with Ann/Stoney and Danielle/Lew at a cute little Parisian bistro (albeit an expensive one @ RM200/pp!) called Cafe Cafe. A little background: Ann is my dear friend since 10th grade and we've stayed close and in touch. Stoney is her new beau. Danielle is another dear friend since 7th grade and for lack of a better term, she's like the honorary hag of KL, LOL! And Lew's her fag, mmm-hmm.

Anywho, Danielle was adamant about gay-owned Cafe Cafe being a must-try and she was quite right. Dinner was yummy (foie gras, mmm... pasta with truffles, double mmm...), though I do have to note that the service was disappointing. Then again, that was pretty much the theme throughout KL - good food but horrendous service. The waiters barely spoke English, they were curt, and to top it all off, they couldn't make me a Cosmo! Bitches. But the ambience was quite boudoir-ish, and the patrons were pretty sexy. Danielle, of course, rose to the challenge of identifying all the gay boys - and there were plenty - amongst the clientele claiming that her gaydar gets serviced everyday. What a darling she is ;)

We went from there to Zeta Bar at Hilton Sentral (so that Lew could get it on with some online hookup but that's just TMI) above the city's train hub. Zeta started off in London and hit it big, so Hilton exported the concept worldwide. The Hilton, btw, is a bee-yootiful hotel. And Zeta was a beautiful bar but it being a Wed night, the crowd was pretty dead and fuddy-duddy. They had a live band though so that was fun, plus the drinks were killer (hot mojitos!) and the urinals were hillarious.

More pics: At the banquette - Me & Tony, Me & Danielle, and the Group! (from L to R: Me, Lew's trick, Lew and Danielle).

After taking Danielle home, we hooked up with Wei and some of his bevy of hot chicks at The Loft located in the super-hip nightlife zone of Asian Heritage Row (same row as Bar Sa Vanh and bar Blonde, two bars I went to two years ago). What a beautiful space! One of the two dance floors was basically a catwalk lit from underneath. It led to the bar and was surrounded by lounges. Hard to describe, you just have to see it to believe it. Of course, it was Retro night and the music was Incredible! We danced so hard on the catwalk... grinding, gyrating, grooving. The crowd went berzerk to "Can't Take My Eyes Off You"... "I love you, baby, And if it's quite alright, I need you, baby, To warm a lonely night..." The DJ spun Bananarama, Belinda Carlisle, Rick Astley, etc. It was retro-tastic!!

Down the street, Wern was livin' it up at Mambo Jambo @ Zouk KL - the infamous party club zone imported from Singapore. Apparently, Wednesday night is a big Retro night and she was also shakin' it to 70s/80s tunes. Wednesday night is also Ladies' Night which brings out all the boobies across town!

Anywho, back to The Loft... Many, many champagnes later, we are trashed (well, I am.. Tony's my DD in KL), we head home and crash by 2. That's the problem with going out drinking in KL - the driving part. I guess cabs are an option (and dirt, dirt cheap) but why bother when you have a car :-)

Except that since I was drunk and Tony had no idea where he was going. We made wrong turns and got lost. THREE times. LOL!! @ 22:34

[i love the nightlife] So KL has quite a lively gay nightlife, who woulda thunk. I know, right? Go figure. It's particularly curious since sodomy (and oral sex! der) carries a maximum prison sentence of 20 years in Malaysia, and gay sex (though not lesbian sex, hmm...) is punishable by a 2-year prison sentence.

Regardless, from Cafe Cafe on Wed night, to Frangi on Fri night, and Bliss on Saturday night (and let's not forget Liquid which we still haven't been to), my KL hag - Danielle - took us on a whirlwind tour of the gay nightlife in KL. She did have a sidekick in the form of Lew who is curiously foreign-looking but speaks Manglish better than anybody I know ("your house number is what?", "don't pray, pray ah"... dah-ling, you should patent that one).

Life is a party, even 10,000 miles away from home. I love the nightlife! 17:58

[got lucky] Well, as it turned out, we were one of the lucky ones last week when we were delayed at Narita for 7 hours, coz we actually got to depart. Story. The heaviest snowfall in 8 years (3.5") crippled Narita and while I initially fumed at the 7-hour delay, now I know that we were incredibly lucky coz some flights were delayed by 20+ hours, or just outright cancelled. United managed to get most of their flights out, compared to NorthWorst which cancelled all but one of their flights. Both airlines hub in Tokyo.

And we had the pleasure of waiting the mess out at the RCC lounge, away from the 10,000 stranded passengers - no food, no shower, and nowhere to sleep - from the 141 cancelled flights. That's a huge number of flights considering most airlines fly 747s or other wide-bodies in and out of Tokyo. Plus, an RCC angel let me use the lounge's phone for free to call my parents in KL. And the red-eye flight to Singapore was great for sleeping, not to mention perfect for connecting to our onward flight to KL.

I really should stop whining about my life :) @ 15:55

[coach to turin?] I think I may be flying coach to Turin *gag*. Check this out:

Washington, DC (IAD) to Frankfurt Am Main, Germany (FRA)
Thursday, Feb 9

Flight Info	Depart	Arrive	Availability	Dist (mi)	Flight Time
United Airlines 932 Boeing 777	21:42 Washington (IAD)	11:40 (Next day) Frankfurt Am Main (FRA)	F4 C0 D0 Y0 B0 M0 H0 Q0 V0 W0 S0 T0 K0 L0 G0 P4 A2 Z0 E0 U0	4080	7:58

Wow. The entire flight is sold out except for 4 First Class seats. The possibility of upgrading to Business is almost zero. How on earth am I going to survive this flight ordeal? Serves me right for not having any vacation time and flying into Turin on the day of the Opening Ceremonies itself! My only consolation is I do have a bulkhead aisle seat. And my return has already been upgraded.

Not fetch! @ 14:39

[busy day] This morning was pretty busy but it's all quiet now. It's amazing how a whole week's worth of work can be condensed into a 3-hour morning.

It ain't so quiet on the news front. Is it just me or is there an avalanche of news today? Maybe I've just been gone too long... Brokeback Mountain (there, I said "Broke"back), fresh from its Best Drama Golden Globe win, was nominated for 8 Academy Awards today - best director, best actor (Ledger), best supporting actor (Gyllenhaal), etc. Today is also Alan Greenspan's last day as Chairman of the Federal Reserve, and rates were raised to 4.5%. And for the first time in 15 years, Tokyo is no longer the world's most expensive city, having been supplanted by Oslo.

Locally, the DC smoking ban was enacted without the Mayor's signature. It now goes to Congress for a 30-day review. 8-car trains come to the Orange Line. And is winter over? This past January has been one of the 10 warmest on record. Only 2 days were below average, no measurable snowfall for the entire month, 9 days above 60°, 7 below freezing days (there were 17 last year including 10 below 20°!), and overall the month was 8 ° above normal. No complaints there, especially since natural gas prices jumped to $1.50/therm! That's a 61% jump over Jan 2005. Because of the record warmth, our gas bill is below $200, phew! They are calling for a colder February though. We shall see.

Sad: Coretta Scott King, MLK's widow, died today at the age of 78. Sadder: (though on a totally different level) Samuel Alito, with a 58-42 vote, will replace retiring Justice O'Connor on the Supreme Court. And the saddest (in the most pathetic sense) of all: Tonight, Bush presents the State of the Union.

The State of the Union, my friends, is corrupt. @ 13:49

[winter gloom] Hmm.. Sunny, hot and humid today in KL, mid-70s to low-90s. Windy, dreary, cold, dark, drizzly, wet, dank, gloomy today in DC, and 41°F (5°C)! It's gonna drop to the freezing mark tonight. I shouldn't complain coz this weather is actually quite mild for January in DC, but Ugh!! I never thought I'd say this but I am wishing for the weather in KL right now.

My mood is as gloomy as the winter weather outside right now. First day back at work, and it's the last day of the pay period. I have to work a loooooong day today, plus I don't think I can balance my timecard with the amount of vacation time that I have banked. I'm gonna pull a "Kiat Lay" and do an Enron-like cook-the-books magic trick. Sigh.

Everything went our way last night. We touched down 20 minutes early and were home an hour later. From Dulles! I know, Shocking. Our bags were literally spitting out of the baggage hole into the belt as soon as we waltzed into the claim area. No wait for a taxi either. Quite amazing. That's a Monday night for ya. But OMB, I have never needed a shit and shower so desperately in my life like I did last night after being up for 28 hours! Ew, I don't poop in public facilities, gross.

Three-class plane from SFO-IAD, go figure, which apparently continues on to Sao Paulo and Rio. I was feeling Chris' aura on the plane, giggle, coz he took the same flight a month before. The front cabins were packed last night! And apparently with lots of high-status folks coz the FA came up to us Dead last and said to us collectively, "there's one tuscan wrap and one cheese tortellini left, which would you prefer?".

I know, are you f-ing kidding me? I looked at Tony, rolled my eyes and looked out the window. Like we had a fucking choice at that point? Bitch FA was lucky I wasn't hungry coz I would've lunged at his throat. Tony gives him the 1K speech and he, of course, doesn't even bother to apologize. I *hate* rude FAs! Add That to the lenghty and growing (by the minute) list of complaints I'm gonna file with United for treating us like lemmings.

This whole 1K thing is overrated, totally ignoring the fact that I got my Obento back and forth to Tokyo and I eventually got a better meal from First Class after they ran out of my selection from Singapore. Ooh, not to mention the SWUs, all 12 of them between me and Tony which means we have free upgrades for the rest of the year basically. Plus the tuscan wrap thingie was actually quite yummy.

Can you tell I'm so over flying? I'm ready for my next Obento... @ 10:53

January 30, 2006

[rcc sfo] San Francisco is such a fun airport to transit in. I can't remember the last time I came through here, and certainly the spanking new International Terminal wasn't in existence back then. You arrive, and it's like you never left Asia. All the passengers are Asian, the airport workers are a mix of Asian and Hispanic, and similarly the immigration officers are also Asian. It's like landing in Vancouver.

We are in the new Red Carpet Club in the United terminal. We are seated by the window and the tarmac is literally 5 feet away, planes gliding back and forth, and San Francisco Bay is in the distance though you can't see much in this constant winter fog.

It's a short layover, really. We arrived an hour ago and did the whole immigration/customs/baggage re-check crap. We are boarding in about 10 minutes.

I am thoroughly fed - no doubt more food is on the way on our next flight - and pretty well-rested all things considered. The next flight is a 5-hr trans-con flight which puts us into Dulles at 9pm, probably home by 10ish or so and ready to crash for the workday tomorrow. Already, the people in the lounge all around us are conducting teleconferences and doing e-mail on their laptops. The grind begins... *groan*.

So this day (Jan 30th) has been really long. We gained 13 hours flying across the International Date Line so really, I have had a 37-hour window to work with for today to regurgitate my thoughts into words. Hah, more me. Can you handle it?

So this trip back to KL for me was my first in two years; the last being CNY 2004. Back then, we were coming off our first trip to Thailand (together), experiencing the Four Seasons in Chiang Mai, Phuket pre-tsunami, and the magnificent temples of Angkor. That was the start of our Asian infatuation, having returned three more times (Tokyo/HK, Vietnam, Perth/Laos/Thailand) since. But never staying long enough (or at all) in KL. Going back to CNY 2004.. Back then, my parents (or my mom, in particular) were uncomfortable with the idea of letting Tony come to KL for CNY so I "punished" them by staying only a few days. Maybe I was punishing myself?

Would it surprise you if I said the last time I spent a significant time in KL, besides this trip, was back in July 2003? That was the trip when Tony was assigned to Sydney and Singapore for training (conducting, not taking) and I tagged along for a whirlwind trip of the Pacific Rim. I remember starting my blog soon after we returned from that trip. Possibly in need of an outlet to express myself, though back then I was far less elaborative (long-winded?) and I have never tried to put so much of my thoughts and emotions into words for public consumption before. And lemme tell ya, this is just the tip of the iceberg. I joke about how my hair is so big and high coz it's full of secrets. But really, a gaysian's heart is a deep ocean of secrets ;)

I wanna write more about why it's so hard to leave KL after spending a substantial amount of time there reconnecting to and rediscovering old roots. But we're already boarding. Well, I might write some on the plane. But you won't hear from me till I'm back in DC and over this wretched jet lag :)

My bed beckons! @ 15:06 San Francisco

[so close to asia] Wow, I had almost forgotten how quickly one can get from Tokyo to the West Coast, hopping the entire Pacific Ocean in less than 8 hours.. actually, I think it's probably closer to 7 hours but I haven't been keeping track. Our 747 today acted like a surfboard riding a huge tsunami at 38,000ft (the winter jet stream in the Northern Hemisphere is particularly strong) across the Pacific into San Francisco, slicing more than an hour off of our scheduled flight time. That huge wave? Not so fun going the other way. But wow, right? 7+ hours to hop the Pacific? Quite insane.

It's been quite a wonderful flight. The upper deck is at 50% capacity, blissfully uncrowded. We have two lovely Japanese FAs and they are as efficient as they are dainty. It's also felt like a very short flight. Dinner lasted a quick two hours - I watched Liar, Liar - and then I crashed, without waking up intermittently, for what seemed like a short time but it was actually the entire flight (5 hours?), woke up an hour before landing and now we're just outside of San Francisco. Dinner, btw, was eh.. the Obento United serves out of Narita - and I've had it many times - is borderline inedible compared to the Obento out of the US. Strange huh? I guess I prefer the made-in-America version better :)

The Captain on our flight has been quite an interesting character. Usually on bi-lingual flights (especially trans-Pacific ones), the Captain makes his flightdeck announcements (upon takeoff and just before landing) in English and then an FA translates it into the local language. Our Captain, who is very white and has an American accent, makes his announcements by himself. All of it. In both English and Japanese. Flawlessly and fluently. Cool, huh? It actually feels kinda naughty to hear our Captain speaking in an Asian language (and a hard one at that) so effortlessly. Tony so useless ;-)

We are just off the California coast now, about 30 minutes from landing. This would've been such a quick journey if San Francisco was my home. I should be living on the West Coast instead. It's so much closer to Asia. Slicing 6+ hours off an all-day journey both ways is just fantastic; especially a journey I have to take on an annual or, like this year, somewhat regular basis.

Or perhaps I should be living in Asia itself? @ 10:15 San Francisco

[not amused] Lemme preface this by saying I shouldn't be complaining, coz we have comfortable business class seats to DC. Luckier than most, I no doubt complain more than most ;)

We arrived in Narita 35 minutes early today, and ready to hunker down for our 3h 30m transit. It's a beautiful day here, thank God! No more 7-hour delays. But in a continuation of our flying luck (or lack thereof) since Christmas - it all started with the missing bags - we find out upon landing that our flight to Chicago (882) has been cancelled. The 747 never got here from Chicago, having been cancelled the day before. We ran to the RCC lounge and begged for a pair of seats on 884 (which was departing for Chicago 2.5 hours before our original flight, barely enough time to transfer our bags) but to no avail - checked in full. Why on earth didn't United protect us on the earlier NRT-ORD flight is beyond me.

We have been protected on a flight to San Francisco - in the upper deck, yay! - followed by a non-stop flight to Dulles, ugh. I just really, really hate flying into Dulles. It's so bloody far and everything is sooooo miserably slow there, from the moonbuggies to the baggage claim and the distance from the house. And to top it all off, we now have a FIVE hour layover in Tokyo *groan*. I know, I know, I'm in the lounge with free wi-fi so why am I complaining.

Sunset in the Land of the Rising Sun.

Flight times have only been mildly affected. We were originally scheduled for a 5:50pm departure here and 6:51pm arrival in DCA - a 15hr, 6886mi journey. Our flight to SFO now leaves at 7:15pm and arrives in Dulles at 8:53pm, a 40min increase in travel time. And we do accumulate more miles going via SFO - some 700 more - and since I'm such a mileage whore, that's pretty groovy (no, I'm not trying to bring "groovy" back.. I've just run out of adjectives coz I lobbed half of them in expletives at the poor United reservations agent just now). And, we don't have to worry about snow in Chicago anymore which is awesome, coz there's nothing more grating than snow delays. Except for the 2 hour delayed arrival into DC (plus we're arriving into Dulles!! Grrr...)

OK, I'm gonna stop whinging. I'm comfortable here, it's gonna be comfortable in the air. I just want to be at my destination. Now. Or back in KL. Waa. 2 1/2 more hours before boarding. Loooooord have mercy. @ 16:08 Tokyo

[cny, from kl to sin] I just took an hour plus nap, woke up, and we are now getting fed again, LOL! Fierce. Oh btw, I'm writing all this on wifi-less (but stankful) UA so I'm hoping I get to post all of this during the 3+ hour layover in Narita, where the Red Carpet Club has free wi-fi.. if it actually works.

Let's rewind 24 hours, shall we? We woke up Chinese New Year morning looking like death warmed over. The culprit? 3 1/2 hours of sleep (more on that later). But revival was a few steps downstairs as my mom - who had been cooking since, oh I dunno, I was born? - whipped up this massive CNY morning fabu-licious feast that included all the standard (noodles!) and favorite dishes from yesteryears. Packing was slow and laborious coz we were so sleepy and before you know it, we were on our way to KLIA (KL Int'l Airport). I was a little teary at leaving but I channelled my inner Sayuri and withheld such displays :)

We upgraded to First Class on the barely-get-your-seat-warmed Singapore Airlines (SQ) flight to Singapore, and whiled away time in the Silver Kris Lounge in KLIA (complete with bland kway teow, soup, dumplings, etc.). SQ flights are a joy. Yes, the flight attendants are all robots. Ear-to-ear smile? Check. "Please, sir" and "Thank you, ma'm"s? Check. Requisite pulled back, bun hair and anorexia-defying, ultra-slim batik outfits? Check. But service is fantastic. Food is always good. And entertainment is infinite. Even the cabin ambience makes you go "ahh, I'm home." United's? Makes you want to jump off without a parachute.

We get to Singapore... well, here are some random musings:-

1. From landing in Singapore's Changi Airport to downtown hotel - 40 minutes. The drive from KLIA to my parents' house alone takes 40 minutes. To downtown? Takes about an hour.

2. Immigration at Changi - Never more than 3-5 minutes. When you get to the counters, worker-bees fan out and man the counters in order to speed arrivals. Immigration at KLIA last week when we arrived? Poor Tony.. he was stuck in a 45-minute line. 14 counters, and only 3 were manned. The rest of the peeps? Milled around, taking breaks, with zero care for how many people were in line. Plus, the 747-load of Saudis who had gotten off before us meant extra scrutiny and extended wait times. I do have to say that the baggage delivery at KLIA has improved dramatically, almost matching Changi's amazing efficiency.

Speaking of Saudis and immigration, Malaysia - being the Muslim country that it is - does not force women to remove their burkhas in order for immigration processing. Um, so how does that work? How do you match the picture on the passport to the face of the passport-holder when you can't see the person's face?? But even before that, does a Saudi passport bear the passport-holder's face if the passport-holder is female? Things that make you go Hmm... No wonder they took so long.

3. After spending a manic, coronary-inducing, blood-boiling week of driving in traffic-clogged KL, Singapore is paradise. No traffic (well, it was a holiday after all but even at rush hour, roads rarely clog up in Singapore.. KL roads are clogged 24/7), and courteous drivers. You almost need side-spikes in your car while driving in KL to fend off people trying to bully you out of your own lane. Not to mention red-light running is taken to a whole new level in KL, especially motorcycles who zoom through intersections 20 seconds AFTER my light has turned green. And does ANYbody obey the Stop signs in KL? Are turn signals optional equipment on cars shipped to Malaysia??

4. Everything works as well and efficient in Singapore, as they DON'T in KL. Public transportation glides in Singapore. Everything runs like clockwork. The streets are immaculate and tree-shaded. Lush greenery abound and the air is blissfully clean. Old heritage buildings are lovingly restored and upkept, modern steel-and-glass skyscrapers everywhere. The city and its people are far more sophisticated and civilized. Food is better, shopping is better... Singapore just works, and does it better.

Public transportation system in KL? Um, is chaos a "system"? Because the city is still developing (at a rapid rate, I might add), roads (and roadsigns) are inadequate, planning is haphazard, traffic is epic, rundown buildings are bulldozed, the air cannot be described as fresh (though not choking like Bangkok), and the mentality is more "everyone for themselves", rather than "shared pride of ownership".

Still, give me KL (or even Bangkok) anyday. There is a certain homogeneity and utilitarianism in Singapore that makes it just so damn proper and so damn boring. Coz it's illegal to be otherwise. Plus it's so damn expensive compared to other South-East Asian cities. Singapore is pleasant enough, but definiely not edgy.

OK, enough with the Singapore is better and far more livable than KL rar rar. Other random musings:-

1. We spent S$102 (US$63) on fish (!!). Yup, one of *the* most expensive steam fish in soy sauce dishes I've ever ordered. And we had no idea it was gonna cost that much coz we asked the waitress for recommendations at Jiang Nan Chun at the Four Seasons and she happily decided that we should have the green wrasse at that outrageous price. I've never even heard of a green wrasse but apparently it's called "tsing yi" in Chinese. Did I complain? Nah, that was one of *the* best steam fish in soy sauce dishes I've ever ordered.

We ended up spending over a hundred bucks (US) a person on dinner last night.. on Chinese food! The food was sensational *drip*.

2. We started out CNY day 1 at my parents' house in KL, and ended it in a gay bar (Backstage) in Singapore. Mmm-hmm. Tony was, of course, quite excited to make a new friend. Some chinky twinky little bartender named Terence, who apparently sniffed us out as fresh meat and proceeded to give us an ABC lesson on gay Singapore (aww, how sweet). I had to keep wiping the drool off Tony's chin *puddle*, or just smack him once in awhile. I bet he wanted to find out just "how sweet". *cough* Rice Queen *cough* *eyes rolling* *tips hat to Lew*.

Geisha Giggle!!!

Backstage pours double-shots for just under US$6 (I miss JRs). But Chinky T was trying to get me drunk, he admitted as he was telling me how much cuter Malaysian chinese guys are than Singaporean guys. Tony was like "hmm, I wonder why he poured so much alcohol in your drink", and I was like "der, coz he thinks I'm cute", and Tony was like "how do you know he's sticky rice?", and I was like "ew gros.. I'm saying he's a top", and Tony was like "huh?", and I pointed to my T-shirt. I was wearing my "Receiving Department" T-shirt *giggle*. Damn right..

3. Tony negotiated down our cab ride home from S$6.40 to S$6, LOL! Well, in all fairness, the cabbie did make a wrong turn but com'on... 40 cents?? So rude.

Not so SingaBore after all. Speaking of rude, nothing beats Su Ann and Tyan Yee buying Tony a T-shirt that says "GWEILO" in huge letters, "And Proud Of It" just below. From Bangsar Village of all places. So rude! Hahaha.

OK, chinese lesson time (fyi, I charge). In Cantonese (dialect of Hong Kong), white people (or foreigners, in general) are called "gweilo" or "ghost people" coz, well, you bitches are all so damn white you might as well be called Casper. In Hokkien (predominant dialect of Singapore and parts of Malaysia), whites/foreigners are called "ang moh" or "red hair". That's pretty self-explanatory.

OK, we're just outside Osaka headed to Tokyo, probably landing in the next 30-40 minutes or so. Powering off. @ 12:41 Singapore or 13:41 Tokyo

[homebound] Now that I've gotten that off of my chest ;-)

We are cruising at 37,000ft somewhere over the South China Sea. I waved goodbye wistfully to Malaysia as we took off to the north from Singapore this morning. We are in bulkhead seats 11 A&B on a triple 7 - flight 890 - to Tokyo. The ginormous engines (there are only two on a 777 and it flies farther than a 4-engine 747) are right outside my window. And we are headed home. Yup, back to DC (in case there's any confusion as to where my "home" is now).

Today's flights will take us through Tokyo and Chicago on a 23-hour, 10214-mi journey halfway around the globe. Believe me when I say NObody looks pretty after spending almost a full day in the air, no matter how flat your seat is or how good the food/service/entertainment is. No snow in Tokyo, thank God, but snow is forecasted when we land in O'Hare. Landing is not my worry, but our follow-on flight to National is, coz snow delays are inevitable in snowy Chicago, though 7-hour delays (take that, Tokyo) are thankfully rare. Still, any delay just piles on the misery.

We woke up at an ungodly 5am to make our 7:15 flight this morning, hence the need to overnight in Singapore on the way to DC from KL and vice-versa. This has become an annual routine as United departs out of their South-East Asian gateways (SIN and BKK) far too early - and arrives far too late - to catch a connecting flight from - or to - KL. Not that I'm complaining coz Singapore and Bangkok are both fun enough.

I'm just about 3-hours into my day-long journey, and halfway through our flight to Tokyo. Pray for me (and for Tony to put up with my non-stop 24-hour marathon whinging session). @ 10:03 Singapore

[did u just say "no"?] I'm bloated coz I just had two croissants at breakfast *giggle*. I *love* the croissants they serve in United Business. Dunno why but it's just a guilty pleasure of mine. It's so tragic for my waistline though.

So here's the thing about Asian FAs (flight attendants) or just service industry Asians in general - they don't know how to think outside the box. For some bizarre reason, I ended up in the aisle seat and Tony had the window. Memo to United:

To whom it may concern,

My profile states my seat preference as "window", and Tony's says "aisle". Please adhere in the future. Thanks.

Sincerely,
Kiat, 1K (platinum)

So we swapped, der. Bottoms always take the window seat and I'm a pushy (raging?) window :-D Aaaaanywho, caucasian FAs will invariably look at us, look at their print-out, and joke about how Tony could not possibly be Mr. H...[obviously Asian lastname] and I could not possibly be Mr. V...[obviously caucasian lastname], and make the right reference in their head.

So, breakfast didn't start off too well. Bitch order-taking Asian FA stops by and says to me:

FA:: "Mr. V, what would you like for breakfast?"
Kiat:: [eyes rolling, points at Tony]
"Um, HE's Mr. V" (Hello, match the last names to the skin color please, bitch)
FA:: "Oh, are you Mr. [mangles my last name]?"
Kiat:: "Huh? Is it misspelt on your print-out?" (Um, how can you misspell three letters??)
FA:: [shows me the print-out] "Is this you?"
Kiat:: [exasperated] "It's the right spelling, but you are pronouncing it incorrectly"
(Bitch, how can you mispronounce a THREE-letter word!! Plus you're Asian and I have an Asian last name! Shame!!)
FA:: "Oh, how do you pronounce that, sir?"
Kiat:: [#&$%*@] "It's blah" (and oh BTW, you're Fired!)

Strike 1. But wait, it gets better.

FA:: "And what would you like for breakfast?"
Kiat:: "The noodles, please"
FA:: "I'm sorry sir, we're out of the noodles"
Kiat:: [gives a "bitch, do you Know who I am?" look and puts on status-queen hat]
"But I'm 1K" (OhmiBritneyFederlineSpears, did she just say "no" to me??)
FA:: "There are lots of 1Ks on today's flight"

Strike 2. You might as well find the nearest chopstick and stick it deep into your left chest cavity coz You Are SO Done.

I am usually fairly polite and accommodating when I travel on upgraded tickets - no, really - and if I had paid full-fare Business or First, I would expect to be treated as such i.e. better than the upgraded heathens. But when service industry ppl lie to me, all bets are off. First of all, where's my apology, and second of all, I just saw your print-out and you took the orders of the lowly Golds first!!! SKANK.

Mmm-hmm. Hell hath no fury like Kiat being disserviced. I adjusted my tiara with my right middle finger (pointed at the FA of course), and went from 0 to uber-bitch faster than you can say, "uh-oh". I stared her down (she was Japanese, I think, but so does not have her own memoirs, trash), and I blurted out abruptly, "I'm 1K and I want the noodles", and looked away.

Being the subservient Asian that she was, she hurried away in avoidance of further confrontation. Minutes pass and I'm quietly fuming but mentally prepared to be delivered my second choice (omelette, yuck, although the gruyere sounded yummy), before Asian male FA drops by and says "Mr Kiat, you will be having the noodles from First Class. Is seafood OK with you?" (Um, yea-ah.. the Business noodles had BBQ pork chinese-style, ew)

Prawn wontons, two types of fish, noodles that were long enough to guarantee longevity (it's a Chinese thing), and my meal was perfect. Fetch.

Don't mess with uber-bitch, status-queen Kiat. Trust. 09:46 Singapore

January 29, 2006

[gong xi fa cai] Happy Chinese New Year! Year of Dog enters with a bang as we bid a fond goodbye to the Cock (and oh how we love thee *naughty grin*). Doggie licks to you and yours!

OK, OK.. off to the airport. @ 15:02

[i never left] We are two plus hours away from our flight to Singapore. This will be my last post from my hometown of KL. Not that I have been very good at posting these past few days, many apologies. It's just been a whirlwind of activity - a roller coaster ride of sorts - as I had expected it to be. As it turned out, it was so much more. Time goes by so quickly when one is having fun. Reconnecting. Rediscovering. Re-evaluating?

And so, another trip back to KL - my hometown - ends. It's almost like I never left. I sneer at the wretchedness of life in KL all the time - the choking pollution, the endless traffic jams, the stifling social scene (everyone knows everyone). But I never fail to descend (ascend?) into nostalgia everytime I am confronted by the need to depart. "It's only a holiday", I tell myself. "Home is where the heart is", and that is in DC. But how can I deny, or sneer at, the immense draw of the place I grew up in, a place where I spent the first 17 years of my life.. where I built friendships, relationships and connections that, until today, remains familiar, unblemished and irreplaceable?

Special thanks go out to so many people who made this trip especially memorable and enjoyable for me and Tony. Friends and - most important of all - family alike, new and old. You know who you are and you will get your mentions over the next few postings as I regain some semblace of normal, routine life when I return to DC. I love each and every one of you. Unconditionally. And I may not always be there for you, but you know as much as I do that I will try my damnedest if called upon. Never doubt.

And so, I leave KL once more with a heavy heart. Back to my new home, a place that has also grown familiar, where new friendships are also irreplaceable.

distance is cruel,
circumstances, brutal,
just as fate brought us here,
destiny leaves me, with a tear.

Thanks for all the memories. I don't want to leave. But I cannot stay.

I will be back :-) @ 14:56 KL

January 25, 2006

[mission accomplished] I am now in possession of a machine-readable passport. Yay!! That was one of the reasons why I chose to visit KL for Chinese New Year, the other more important one being that we had System-Wide Upgrades that needed to get used by Jan 31st, so CNY was a convenient excuse to use 'em. I know, I'm such a slave to United. But the upgrades allow me to accumulate beaucoup of miles which fly me First Class on Singapore Airlines. So really, at the end of the day, it's quite worth it considering how much I have to and choose to travel.

I bitched about the passport application process but in reality, it wasn't too bad. I didn't have to stand in a huge long line at 7:30am at Pusat Bandar D'sara or anything horrific like I was led to believe. I dropped by the Subang Airport (excuse me, Sultan Abdul Aziz Shah Airport) facility in T2 at 10:30am on a Monday to get a number. And the guy doling out the numbers helpfully told me to come back after lunch (2pm) since my number would not be called till then.

Of course, I showed up at 2:15pm and boy was he accurate, coz they had already called my number. I begged the numbers guy for them to call my number again but he wanted to give me a new number. I was like, nuh-uh, so he told me to go directly to the counters. I went and begged to be served next and sure enough, they did. That was quite nice of them. The whole process (finger-printing and all.. which is why you can't just mail in your application here like you do in the States) was done in another 15 minutes. Fetch.

That was Monday. Today, I collected my passport, woohoo! Talk about somewhat efficient for a Third World country, y'know? The passport collection took longer (about 30mins) but that was coz I got there just after 2pm. It would've been wiser to show up a little later coz everyone got there at 2pm and took a bunch of numbers so I had to wait. Also, Wednesday seems to be the day to apply for passports coz there was no crowd!

Anywho, why am I boring you with this. Well, I shouldn't. I'm just happy I got a new passport and I don't have to worry about this again till I'm, gulp, 34. @ 15:32 KL

[prime bitches] I didn't really have a great time in high school (Yrs 7-11 @ Methodist College or MC). Well, that's not true. Almost all of my good friends in KL that I see regularly are from MC. They're all girls (hah! no surprise) and they kept me sane (and vice-versa) throughout our MC years. Those unforgettable years... where impressions were made, bonds were formed, futures were dreamt, and our lives seemed intertwined forever. I keep in touch with most of them irregularly and they're my go-to peeps when I come to KL for a visit. We never fail to pick up from where we left off everytime we see each other. Such is the power of eternal friendship, huh?

So why didn't I have a great time? Well, for one, I didn't have any guy friends. Well, that's not true. I had quite a few towards the later years, but most of the time the guys gave me a hard time in MC. I'm sure the whole gay thing (not that any of us knew it back then) made it that much more difficult. My relationships with the guys at MC were aided by my "MC hags". Without them, I would've needed a lifetime of theraphy, lol. No, nobody bashed me or hurled anything at me. It was mostly just teasing and taunting. I just didn't really fit in. And I hate feeling left out. I know, I'm such a conformist.

So when I got to leave MC and move on to Prime (for pre-Univ), I was ecstatic. As it turned out, I had an awesome time at Prime. I had three really good guy friends - Wei, Te-Shen and Ian - and we hung out almost everyday. We took trips together, played mahjong together, drank at every single watering hole in KL together.. not to mention the countless mamak sessions and sleepovers and love triangles (them, not me). We supported each other through thick and thin, laughter and tears. Usually we would just feed each other enough booze to make each other pass out so that the next day, we woud have something funny to talk about from the night before and forget about what girl troubles or family issues we had at that time. In short, it was everything I did not have in MC.

Why am I telling you all this. Well, the last time the four of us were together was prior to leaving to the UK for Univ. The four of us went to four different colleges in four different directions from London and the distance, plus the fact that we were all poor starving students then, drew us apart.

Sunday night, our first night in KL, the four of us hooked up at unbearably smokey Finnegan's in Sri Hartamas and reunited for the first time in over 10 years. And we didn't just go down memory lane, we Tore It Up. We relived all the crazy fun we had in Prime, and then some. It seemed like everything and nothing had changed. I was still the brunt of their jokes (Te-Shen is particularly ruthless), they were still as manipulative as ever (Ian is, hands down, the mastermind), and when we get together, we are still an out-of-control riotous force to be reckon with (Wei being the perpetual jokester). We watched the Man U v Liverpool game (1-0). Wow, I felt so butch! ;-)

But everything has changed. We don't really know each other anymore. Besides asking about how each other's job is (and even that we barely comprehend each other's profession) and talk about our spouses (or lack thereof), there really isn't very much that is current to talk about. Distance is cruel. Circumstances have led to completely separate lives. It's sad, I know, but life goes on. The Prime days were particularly memorable and sweet simple because they had passed. You would never know you had it good until that event has passed and can be now compared to all the other times in your life.

These days, all my guy friends are "girl"friends, LOL. I love them bitches. But sometimes I still miss the good ol' "guy" days of Prime. Whatever happens, they'll always be my Prime bitches. Love you all to pieces and would fly 10,000 miles (literally) and back to help if needed. Thanks for the memories!

Oh, d'oh.. the whole point of this post is to share these pics from Finnegan's :)

The Prime Bitches - (L to R) Me, Wei, Maha, Ian and Te-Shen
"My eyes so small!" @ 09:10 KL

January 24, 2006

[they so noisy] Another reason why I can't move back to KL... My parents live in a fairly affluent suburb (Taman Tun) about 15mins west of KL. There is a mosque right in the middle of this suburb, just as there's one in almost every suburb. At just before 6 every morning, the melodic wail (I'm being very PC here) of the Imam's call to prayers (imsak) reverberate through a loudspeaker across the dark morning sky. Being jet-lagged and all, we both were roused by his wails. Tony turns to me and says:

"Hai-yah, they so noisy"

*giggle* He is so un-PC. The wails end after a few minutes and we fall back asleep. Only to be awoken again 10 minutes later (subuh) by another round of Allahu Akbar's. This time, Tony says to me:

"That's why they're all terrorists. They don't get enough sleep!"

ROTFL. My honey is soooo wrong, but so funny sometimes. He's joking, of course.

Since we were wide awake and had nothing to do and we didn't want to listen to his wailings, well, let's just say we made our own noise ;-) @ 08:12

[from ma to md] Good God, where was I when this happened? Oh wait, I know.. I was in the air for 36 friggin' hours!! Yup, I finally landed in KL, 36 hours after I took off from DC. Stank.

So a judge in Baltimore, of all places (never gonna make fun of that city again... wait, what city? *giggle*), voided Maryland's DOMA (defence of marriage act blah blah) enacted in 1973. Holy shit, does that mean I can drive to Nicole's house and get married in her backyard? LOL!

So fetch. @ 00:38 KL

January 22, 2006

[tony trying manglish] If you're not Malaysian, you probably won't get this. Tony came out of the bathroom a few minutes ago, looked at me with a disgusted look and said:

"Asian bathrooms so silly. Everything oso wet."

If you speak Manglish (Malaysian English), that was funny as shit. Trust. @ 21:38 KL

[33 hours] We finally landed in Singapore at 6:20 this morning. It's been 33 hours since our flight from DCA to ORD took off on Friday morning, the 20th. It's now Sunday morning in Singapore, the 22nd. I can't even keep up anymore. Flight wasn't too bad, dinner was yummy, service was pleasant, I slept about 4 hours.. But I am clearly AND emphatically SO over this travel ordeal. I want to be in KL, in my parents' house, and in bed. Now. But there's one little hour-long shuttle flight standing in our way.

We were originally sposed to land in Singapore midnight last night, stay overnight at a hotel (which we've now paid for but won't be using), wake up fresh, have breakfast/brunch/lunch or whatever and head back to the airport for our 3pm-ish shuttle to Kuala Lumpur. Well, all that's shot now. We are going to try and catch the first shuttle to Kuala Lumpur (8:30am) as soon as we land in Singapore. They may not let us travel on our 3pm shuttle tickets (they were free), but I am lock and loaded with a sob story about how I've been travelling for TWO days trying to reach "home" for the first time in soooooo long to see my "poor" parents for Chinese New Year. I've been away sooooo long and I have been saving up money to see them and finally, Finally I get to bring back some prosperity to them. I'll whip out some red packets as my trump card. That'll surely bring her to tears.

Her. That's right. This'll only work if the check-in counter lady is a Chinese female. I have some magic over them. One of our chinky flight attendant ladies just about wet herself talking about how I look soooo familiar (bitch, I live in the States) and I remind her so much of one of her friends back home blah blah blah. She kept overflowing my glass with wine. I started saying, "lady, that's a cute story and you might even be trying to get in my pants but..", and she proceeds to shove fruit tarts at us, and says oh-so-motherly, "this is soooo good, i eat two everytime.. you must have one each.. no sharing..", in her best (worst?) Singlish accent, as she giggles like only a demure Asian girl can and tip-toes away with her bound feet on platforms like Sayuri. But far less daintily.

Welcome to Asia! @ 06:25 Singapore

[lost in frustration] I thought the worst had past and we were gonna take off at close to 10pm and arrive in Singapore at 4ish. Wrong. I won't even justify the past few hours with a write-up. Chronologically, if I may:

16:15:: Arrivals slowed into Narita. Flight circles the airport.
16:20:: Scheduled arrival time comes and goes.
17:05:: Land in snow-covered Narita. Sit on tarmac for 2 hours.
17:15:: Scheduled departure time to Singapore. Did we miss the flight?
19:00:: Parked at remote gate. Bused to terminal. Could not enter gate.
19:30:: Bused to different gate. Finally entered the terminal. Flight to Singapore delayed till 21:50. Phew!
20:00:: Red Carpet Club. Bliss. Narita is snowed in and iced over.
21:00:: Board UA891 to Singapore. Yay!
21:50:: New scheduled departure time comes and goes.
22:00:: De-icing equipment arrives. Yay! And then we wait. Nothing happens.
22:20:: De-icing finally commences. Yay! They are de-icing a jumbo jet with a hose. It's akin to washing an elephant with a straw. Ohmm, patience, patience, patience, Ohmm.
23:00:: De-icing is Finally finished! Yay!
23:05:: Captain announces that Narita has shut down its one and only runway to shovel the snow. Aaaaaaaargh!
23:10:: Watch "Just Like Heaven" starring Reese Witherspoon. Trying really hard not to scream or cry at FAs. Oooh, movie's actually quite good.
00:00:: Normal curfew time at Narita. Protesters will break down the gates soon.
00:05:: Runway reopened! Push back from gate.
00:25:: Lift-off! SEVEN-hour delay.
00:50:: Original scheduled arrival time into Singapore. Hah!
06:40:: Updated arrival time into Singapore. *groan*

Can I cry now. Please?

Why is it that, in the world's second largest economy and definitely one of the most technologically advanced nations, there are no credit card payphones in the entire friggin' airport?? Thank God for the Red Carpet Club and the angels working there that let me call international for free. Why is it that Narita, one of the world's busiest airports, shuts down (restaurants, shops, everything) at 9pm? And has a curfew of midnight? Not to mention Narita has made absolutely no preparations for a snowstorm.. preparations like, oh I dunno, de-icing equipment?! It's quite pathetic. I don't fault them for trying though. It's just working with what they have.

Dinner (supper?) was amazing. Sushi, salad and yummy shrimp for appetizer, and the most delicious noodle thingamajig for dinner. Plus a yummy fruit tart for dessert! OK, I'm gonna try and catch some zzz's before our 7am arrival into Singapore. @ 02:03 Tokyo or 01:03 Singapore

January 21, 2006

[trapped in tokyo] Flying in winter is always a gamble. And you are betting against the house with odds stacked against you if you are connecting through Chicago, which we always do en route to Asia. Our luck at O'Hare has always been great though; we've only had one major boo-boo coming home once, and it resulted in a delay to DC. No biggie.

Well, our luck ran out today... in Narita, of all places. We landed today to a heavy blanket of clouds, fog and snow shrouding the airport; the most snow I've seen in Tokyo in my life. We were originally scheduled to land 15 minutes late but we were forced to circle the airport as arrivals were being staggered due to the snowstorm, and we ended up landing 45 minutes late, which meant we only had 10 minutes to run to our next flight. But that was not to be.

Narita is not built to handle snow. It rarely snows here due to the moderating effects of the Pacific Ocean. But it is snowing and the temperatures are at the freezing mark right now. Consequently, de-icing delays (due to lack of equipment) is causing arriving aircraft to back up the taxiways, preventing departing aircraft from taxiing out. Gates remained occupied, planes were stuck in mega-jams, and no one was moving for anybody. It was pandemonium.

We sat on the tarmac for two HOURS. Oh it was miserable. I cannot and don't want to imagine what it was like to be in coach, after a 12+ hour flight, and then being stuck with no resolution for another two hours. I won't even make fun of that or joke about it right now. We finally got to a remote gate, deplaned down icy steps into a bus (we have no jackets!), and then herded to the terminal.. where the sliding glass doors wouldn't open. In Japan! Com'on.. this is the country that invented and perfected sliding glass doors. No one could figure it out. I know, could the day get any worse? So we ended up piling into the bus again and were herded to a different set of doors. 7:30pm, 2 1/2 hours after we landed, we were finally in the terminal building. Hallelujah!

So here I am at Tokyo's Narita International Airport, sitting in the Red Carpet Club (RCC) with what must be 10 jumbo-jet's worth of Business Class passengers, all sitting here waiting out the 4, 5, 6, even 7 hour delays for all arriving and departing flights. It's a madhouse. De-icing delays.. who woulda thunk. In a land where everything not only works but works like a ticking Swiss machine, the entire airport system collapsed today due to a few snowflakes. Sigh. Worse yet, additional delays could push flight departure times past the curfew hour at Narita which has been extended till 1am. The Japanese are even fiercer when it comes to NIMBY-ism (Not In My BackYard) and noise issues. Why do you think they spent gazillions building Osaka's Kansai airport in the middle of the ocean?

It is *still* snowing outside. It's pretty but I really want to get to my destination. Our continuing flight to Singapore was also, thankfully, delayed... till 9:50pm!! (from 5:15) Well, I'm not complaining. At least we didn't miss the flight. I'm also reasonably well-rested (I slept 6 hours on the plane), I'm well-fed (although hunger pangs are starting to announce its arrival), and I don't feel stanky or rancid (which is good coz the showers are closed!). And the RCC is quite pleasant despite the crush of humanity.

I can't even post this right now coz the wi-fi in the RCC is overloaded. I'm connected but I can't get anywhere. Everyone is fighting for the same bandwidth. Sigh. This is gonna be a *really* long day. A 9:50pm departure puts us into Singapore at 4:30am Sunday morning. We have been travelling for over 20 hours now. We have at least another 9 hours to go. *GROAN* @ 20:13 Tokyo

January 20, 2006

[6 down, 6 to go] We just passed Anchorage and are now departing the Alaskan landmass, just below the Arctic Circle. The landscape outside, as you can imagine, is pristine white with snow cover and bone-chillingly frigid, I'm sure. We are about halfway through our 12+ hour flight to Tokyo. Mealtime took up 3 hours, and then I napped for 3 hours (really, who can "sleep" at 5pm body clock time).

At this point, they are projecting an arrival time of 4:20pm which puts us down in Tokyo with a comfortable enough cushion to make a Carl Lewis-like dash for our NRT-SIN flight. That should be fun, considering Narita is huge and it's always hot in there. Grr. Plus, that means we won't have time to go to the lounge and take a shower. You might think it's trivial but after a 17-hour "inflight" and "transit" experience, a shower is almost a necessity to put up with the next 7-hour flight. Can you believe that after landing in Tokyo, we still have 7 more hours to go?? *groan*. In total (incl. transit at two airports), the total travel time from DCA-SIN is 25 hours. EACH way.

The Obento dinner, btw, was exquisite. The appetizer tray consisted of delicious broiled tuna sashimi as a salad with scallions and miso paste, chilled cha-soba with seaweed and wasabi-ponzu sauce, and a cute little box with egg sushi, shrimp sushi and chicken sansho-yaki. Oh, and sake *squeal*

The entree tray was a huge box with Japanese sesame rice (yum), beef tenderloin and mushrooms in a finger-lickin' sauce, steamed snapper in this TDF sauce, and mixed-vegetables with tofu. Very, very filling and so sake-licious.

I only get the Obento going To Tokyo, never coming from Tokyo. Dunno, but United serves much better Obento going outbound than coming inbound. Weird, huh? You'd think an Obento originating from Tokyo would be perfect, but I guess our untrained, generic, lazy American palates have not quite gotten used to the intricate tastes of Japanese food yet.

I can't post all this till I get to Singapore at the earliest. Not having wi-fi onboard is crimes against humanity. I'm bored. I've seen all the movies. I'm a little sleepy. Why is it impossible to get bored on an SQ or LH flight but on an UA flight, you're pretty much over it after 6 hours, no matter which class of service you're in. Wait, what's that? Oh, that's right, you ppl back there are sick of it as soon as you board, LOL.

You poor babies downstairs and at the back. Aspire.

It looks like we'll be crossing the International Date Line in a few which will jump our dates forward by a day to Saturday 1/21. 4:51pm on the 20th in Alaska, or 10:51am on the 21st in Tokyo

[next stop, tokyo] I love the upper deck. It's exclusive, like your own private jet. You get two flight attendants and two bathrooms all to yourselves. And there are only 26 passengers up here (all Business Class). True, that's like Mongkok compared to Lufthansa's max of 16 pax (all First Class) in the upper deck, but the huge win is? *drumroll* No coach class heathens using our restrooms! Fetch *giggle*. They wouldn't dare come up the stairs to our lofty, high (literally) class area. And no screaming children! Well, at least not on this flight today. And even if there were, front/upper cabin kids are infinitely more well-behaved anyway.

Here's our flight path for today.. the continuing flight takes place tomorrow so you'll all just have to wait :-p

We just got off the shuttle from National to O'Hare and are now on UA881 en route to Narita (in Tokyo, keep up bitches). We are in seats 17A&B and United just introduced.. *drumroll* NEW slippers!! *squeal* They are way fetcher than the ones before, but I'm still wearing the Lufthansa First Class slip-ons we got from our Nov trip. And no, they don't hand out slippers to the cattle section :-D The menu looks delish: Braised short ribs with red wine demi-glace, sage/onion souffle plus Cal stir-fry mushrooms.. yum. Crispy pan-fried halibut with sweet chili sauce, snap peas/carrots and steamed rice.. um, love the rice, don't care for veges, and definitely did not like the sweet chili sauce (had it on my LHR-IAD flight four days ago!). Last and most definitely my number one choice (and impossible to get coz everyone wants it), the Obento! Can't describe it. It's a Japanese kaiseki-in-a-box thing. Super delicious. Very healthy. Good for the figure. Totally sublime and yummy-licious. I'm gonna bitchslap one of the flight attendants to get one.

Oh and there's caesar salad, shrimp cocktail and parma ham to start. And a selection of cheeses plus a cheesecake to finish. Plus free-flowing champagne and wine. OK, I'll stop here ;-) It's the champagne talking! Speaking of which, the bubbly they serve on UA? Decidedly not fetch at all. I miss my Dom and my Krug.

Oh, our cab ride to DCA this morning? Cost the same as before the fare-hike - $18.25. I fully expected it to go up by 15-18% like all the other fares. Oh and did I mention they served a HOT breakfast on the DCA-ORD flight? On a 2< hour flight, I know, right?! A really delicious ham-egg-cheese-croissant combo thingie. I vacuumed it into my mouth. And lastly, thank God for GPS. The cloud cover was comprehensive and thick this morning over Chicago. It was like the city was buried in a mile-high of snow. You could only see the runway a minute or so prior to wheels down. I have no idea how the pilot did it "blind" but praise Beyonce for modern technology.

UPDATE:: I just got the Obento *SQUEAL*!! *drip*drool*soak*puddle* 12:10 Chicago

OK where were we.. ah yes, we're late departing :-( (which is why I'm typing up a storm) Our connection in Narita is reaaaaally tight (45 minutes, and we have to go through security again) so my fingers (and all eleven toes) are crossed. So I was telling my NYC bitch Ben about my tight connection in Tokyo:

Kiat:: NRT from 420-515pm. Our connection in Tokyo is WAY short
Ben:: seriously, maybe you have to do a night in Japan. But don't u need a visa to enter Japan for Malyasian national? [it's Malaysian, you bitch]
Kiat:: DON'T even get me started on how stupid that is. Grr. They want my bank statement to get a FUCKING visa! At least the visa is free...
Ben:: they don't want you to enter Geisha school if you are a poor bastard. Tell Immigration bitches that you are Chinese like all the actress in the movie! :-)
Kiat:: ROTFL! Let me in or "I will destroy you!"
Ben:: get drunk and pass out
Kiat:: Getting drunk on piss champagne is nowhere near as fun as Dom or Krug
Ben:: tell that to UA FAs----I want to see their reaction when you tell them........poor Tony he has to hear this for next 12hrs
Kiat:: I know. I love me :-)

LOL! I'm not *that* bad...

Oh, and ladies.. I will be using my mom's SIM the whole time I'm in Malaysia so if you try and text me on my US number, it'll say "Message Delivered" but I won't get it till the 30th when I land in Chicago. And if you don't already know my mom's number to text me on my vacation, well, you suck :-)

Ugh, I've already seen all the movies (I miss SQ's IFE!). This is gonna be the longest flight ever! No, really. The scheduled flight time is 13h 10m, eek! And no movies to watch, ugh. Well, I did bring my favorite "Mean Girls" DVD. I also brought "2046" which is a Wong Kar-Wai movie with Zhang Ziyi (Memoirs of a Geisha) in it. Mostly I just hope I'll sleep through the entire flight. Oops, we're pulling away from the gate...

UPDATE:: We just took off; almost an hour late. Our flight time is 12 1/2 hours. I hope they make up for lost time or we'll be cutting it *really* close for our flight to Singapore. Sigh. 13:08 Chicago or 04:08+1 Tokyo

January 19, 2006

[int'l friends] I'm a pretty international guy. Born in Malaysia, went to college in the UK, and now I live in the States. Consequently I have a bunch of international friends, almost all of them in English-speaking countries... Malaysia, Singapore, UK, US, Australia, Canada, etc.

I've known Melissa since I was 13. We were in the same high school for 2 years before her family emigrated to Australia. I visited her in Sydney twice, so when she said she had moved to London as of last year, I was like Thank God you're so much closer now! Not that Sydney wasn't fetch or anything but it is impossible to take a weekend trip to Sydney.

After Hakkasan, we dragged her to The Village in Soho where we pounded drinks to a sizzlingly hot Dieux du Stade photo shoot video playing on the plasma screens. I was mesmerized obviously, but Melissa was puddling, LOL! We were just about had enough of the smokiness (why is Dublin smoke-free and London not?) before the bar whipped out their two go-go boys. We stayed, of course.

They didn't strip, but they were provocatively dressed. And boy did they shake their boo-tays. A string of back-to-back Madonna songs later, the boys were dripping. Hot. Let's just say we had a lot of fun watching :-) Nothing like SE, but still quite entertaining. The tube sucks coz it shuts down promptly at just before midnight and we had to navigate the labyrinthine network of night buses. Not to mention the weekend we were there, the tube was on semi-strike (stations closing without notice) and there was a lot of track work going on so quite a few lines were partially shut down. It put a huge crimp on our weekend mobility.

Limp, crawl and slither if you must.. A Royal China brunch on Sunday is a must! The dim sum there is TDF. The waits will also kill you but it's soooo worth it. Piping hot, juicy, succulent, meaty, steamy, yummy dumplings. I would fly to London just for their dim sum. Trust.

I had a hankering for shopping after brunch so we trekked down to Knightsbridge which turned out to be quite an adventure. See, the Piccadilly Line was shut and it's damn near impossible to get to Knightsbridge on public transportation. What's that.. bus, you say? Well, when the tubes are shut, the roads are Jammed. Bigtime. Knightsbridge, home of Harrod's and Harvey Nick's, has no shortage of rich bitches with drivers cruising up and down Brompton Road. It was pandemonium on the streets. We ended up walking from South Ken station. Stank.

Tony thought this picture would be cute. I think it's a stereotype! *giggle* Anywho, I went on a serious wallet-damaging rampage through Zara and H&M for over THREE hours. By the time we were done, the sun had set (which is not a difficult feat seeing that the sun sets at 4pm! eww). We ended up at Harvey Nick's for some window-shopping and closed it down.

For dinner, we went to Belgo Centraal in Covent Garden. I know, WHY?? Well, Belgo is where Tony and I had our first dinner date. Eight years, eight months and eight days ago (OK, I cheated. I used an online date calculator). The food was as I remembered it to be. Yummy mussels in huge pots. Very basic, very affordable, and very "college". It was a good nostalgic trip down memory lane. Oh and check out the desserts we ordered!

So that was our London trip. It was jolly good fun and now, I'm counting down the (12) hours before we jet off to Malaysia to see the largest group of international friends that I have, all concentrated in my hometown, go figure. Next post, from Asia! @ 21:04

[$100 haircut] Life gets more complicated as you get older. Responsibilities, chores, bills, mortgage, taxes, finances, etc. Similarly, my haircuts have been getting more and more elaborate.

Life was so much simpler back in Malaysia when, as a young child, my dad would take us to the barbershop for $1 or $2 haircuts (depending on inflation). The hideousness of those haircuts knew no bounds. That lasted well into high school (yea, beauty wasn't a pre-occupation of mine then). And then I got to England where haircuts were obviously more expensive by many fold. Being a poor, starving student (hah! not really), I chose the cheapest, simplest and fastest haircuts available. Again, function (and frugality) before fashion. They weren't very pretty either.

Plus I had longer hair when I was growing up. And even back then it was heavily gelled up (I gel less these days, trust). I looked like I had waxed hair borrowed from Madame Tussaud's. Oh, the pictures I could show you... but I won't :-D

My first haircut in DC cost me $20. It was in Tysons Mall. This was probably my very first haircut where I came out of it looking half-decent. This flaming Thai draq queen (aren't they all?) who did my hair taught me the golden rule for Asian hair - "Only Asian can cut Asian hair!". How amazingly right she was. But she forgot the other important and no less golden rule of haircuts - "Only gays can cut gay hair!". Der.

Then I moved to DC. Had to say goodbye to her, and found another gaysian to do my hair in my new gayborhood of Dupont Circle. Now we're up to $25. What can I say, Andy is a genius. She knows just exactly what to do with my hopelessly straight, poofy, baby-like hair. Have I mentioned that it is also oh so boringly black? Wellllll, not for long...

These days, fashion over function is mandatory. So one fine day this past summer, I sauntered in to my hairdresser's and sat my pretty yellow ass down on Andy's chair. And bitch says to me: "Dahhhh-ling, your hair too black. Must change for summer!". Before I could say "waitaminute", she's bleaching my hair and, 15 minutes later, voilà I have highlights. And that was THE most expensive haircut I've ever gotten - $70 (more like $90 with tips and all). It also took an hour plus to do the whole haircut and highlights thing, good God. My ass was numb at the end of it.

And I've never looked back since. I *love* getting highlights. Yes, black is beautiful but blond is way, way, WAY more fun. My most recent highlights have taken upwards of 30-45 minutes (I'm getting used to the lengthy sessions) of bleach, no coloring. My hair is apparently soooo black it takes an obscene amount of bleaching time to strip the blackness out of it. If it were any other part of the body, that bleach would've soaked through and made a hole. Mmm-hmm. Plus, it smells rancid. Ew, nasty.

So why am I telling you all this.. Well, last night, I got another round of highlights for my trip to "we all look the same to white ppl coz we all have the same black hair" Asia. Midway through my "session", Andy pokes Francisco (Federico? Felipe? or whatever his name is..) and says "gurrrrl, this bitch's eyebrows are perrrrfect". F takes one look and goes "almost", and bitch whips out a straight razor and starts doing my eyebrows :-o

10 minutes later, I have the "prettiest eyebrows I've ever seen", says A&F. So now I'm obligated to give F at least $10 in tips even though I didn't ask for my eyebrows to be "done". I have to admit, they do look great. F was a master.. a maestro at shaving eyebrows. He wielded his straight razor on my eyebrows like Picasso with a paintbrush on canvas. I felt like a Sunflower, all yellow and pretty (oh wait, that's Van Gogh). I have a newfound love (and constantly checking out) for my eyebrows now.

Of course, none of y'all will notice any difference. The person who looks at me the most all day (or does he?) couldn't tell that I had just had my eyebrows done. Perhaps he's just oblivious to changes in my appearances. What a useless bee-yotch ;)

So there ya have it - my first $100 "hair"cut. And I loved it so much I dripped. Of course, now I can't possibly go without having my eyebrows "done" again. Sigh, when did life and haircuts become so complicated? Yes, things were so much simpler back then but I don't yearn for them and I definitely don't want to go back there! @ 19:51

[warm and humid] The weather forecast for Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia... muuuuuch better than London:

Sat	Sun	Mon
Scattered Thunderstorms High: 88° Low: 74°	Scattered Thunderstorms High: 89° Low: 73°	Scattered Thunderstorms High: 88° Low: 73°

Well, aside from the "scattered thunderstorms".. nobody pays attention to that. It is the rainy season after all. Heavy downpours, but short-lived. Humidity will be >90%, ugh. My hair is gonna frizz up like Diana Ross'. BTW, there are no seasons in Malaysia. The temperature is a constant low 70s to mid 90s. Year-round. The sun rises at just after 7am everyday and sets at just after 7pm everyday. Without fail. Sounds like heaven? Boring as hell, if you ask me.

But I canNOT wait for the warm weather! So over this cold, although the next few days is expected to be in the 60s! Quite unusual. I wonder if we're gonna pay for all this warm weather with a freakishly cold and snowy March. *shiver*

Nothing much has happened between my last vacation and my next one. We were only home for 3 days, LOL. I have been working 9-10 hour days though. Sketch. I definitely need a vacation... Asia, here I come! @ 17:38

January 18, 2006

[michelin-tastic] London has more Michelin-starred restaurants than any city but Paris. 35, to be precise; Gordon Ramsay has 3 stars (1 of only 50 restaurants in the world, and we've already been), 4 of them have 2 stars, and 30 other restaurants have 1 star.

Hakkasan, tucked in an alley just north of Tottenham Court Road tube station, received its Michelin star in 2003 and was, until last year, the only Chinese restaurant on the planet to hold a Michelin star. Hakkasan's sister restaurant, Yauatcha, earned a star last year. Both are owned by Alan Yau who also brought us (well, Europeans and Ozzies anyway) the uber-popular and ever-delicious Wagamama.

So on a cold and drizzly Saturday night (um, whaddya expect? it's London after all...) off we went - Tony, me and Melissa - to Hakkasan to see if this startlingly expensive Chinese restaurant lived up to its hype. Reservations were difficult to come by but we managed to secure a coveted 7pm slot. We were also told that we were to vacate the table by 9:15. Hmm... I know, not very Michelin-friendly is it? But wait, it gets better...

We approached a door to what looks like a nightclub, but we were clearly in the right place (reading the sign that says "Hakkasan"). The restaurant, it seems, is in the basement, therefore its street presence is just a door, with dimly-lit stairs leading downstairs. Oh, and a doorman. Uh-huh. A mean looking one too. I assumed he was just there to open the door but as soon as I tried to enter, he stopped me and asked if I had a reservation.

I was like, "WTF?". This is taking the whole hoity-toity, snob factor to an impossibly high nose angle. So high, in fact, that if it had rained any harder, these ppl would've drowned. Whatev. Dude let me in after I spewed my name and reservation time. We descend into the coat-check and reservation waiting area. Lots of Armani-clad (you know, typical uber-sleek, ultra-fashionable, gloss-satin black suits) worker-bees around. And as you enter the dining room area, the cheongsams appear. Chinese doors, black lacquer, red lanterns, blah blah blah. Typical contemporary-yet-throwback Chinese decor. Very Shanghai meets London. Or New York. Or Paris. Or any East-meets-West combo.

And the buzz was deafening. Not ear-splittingly so, but the atmosphere was so hip it hurt. The air was so buzzed, it was electrified. Ultra-glam. Once we got to the bar (named "Ling Ling".. LOL! I'm not kidding), I could see why they had to restrict the bar occupants to people with reservations only. The bar was the longest I've ever seen - three Full bars in length demarcated by HUGE Grey Goose bottles - but packed like a crowded tube train at rush hour (or happy hour, as it were). The drinks were scorchingly fierce - out of this world concoctions. I can't even describe them. The Hakka was the crowd favorite.

Anywho, we sat down to dinner and were startled to find that we were seated in the middle of a canteen-style table, with large groups on both ends. I mean, they were far enough away that it didn't bother me but com'on, *some* separation would've been nice. It's a Michelin-starred restaurant for crying out loud! If you've been to London, you would know that canteen-style tables are de rigeur. For Americans, it is decidedly gauche.

Dinner was sensational! We started off with some of the best, most delicate, meaty, steamy and exquisite - and definitely the most expensive - dim sum and dumplings I've ever had. But, we could've had the Peking Duck with Beluga Caviar (£140!), or the traditional shark fin's soup (£42). :-o I know, right? One look at the prices and it's clear that I'm in the wrong business! Our entrees were even better - oh-so-silky and delicious Sha cha Silver Cod, a fantastic melt-in-your-mouth Hakka stew pork, and an adventurous but spectacularly done vegetarian dish made to taste almost exactly like Prawns in black pepper. Desserts were Western (the usual stuff) and yummy. At no point did we feel rushed and when 9:15 rolled around, we paid and went to the bar. The time limit didn't phase me in the least.

We "escaped" with £70/pp, but I'm sure if I went back, I would spend a lot more, splurging on lobster or crabs, maybe? Their seafood dishes, as with all seafood in London, were absurdly expensive (£30-£40). I would definitely not forgo the wagyu (kobe) beef the next time around (£48). And the Peking Duck + Beluga Caviar? *SQUEAL* I'm drooling just thinking about the food there.

At the end of the day, the food brings the crowds back. Good enough that one could almost forgive the hassles - reservation-hell, snooty doorman, pretentious, smokey, loud, canteen-style tables, expensive, etc. - of dining at Hakkasan. The best Chinese food ever? Maybe not, and definitely not at those price points. But seriously good Chinese food that I would fly to London for? Heck yea.

Then again, does anyone really need an excuse to go to London? @ 15:25

January 17, 2006

[lethargic] Inevitably, after a crazy Fri-Mon weekend trip to another continent, I am beyond exhausted and am in serious need of an energy boost... that vodka cannot provide ;-) Plus, it's past 5:30pm and I'm still at work, toiling for looooooong hours this week to make up for the fact that I will be gone the rest of January for Chinese New Year in Malaysia starting this Friday; and the fact that I have only enough vacation time to barely cover 70% of my trip. Sigh.

Why won't they allow us to "buy" vacation time? I would be the first in line, scooping 'em up in chunks if they let me. What's the diff then from taking Leave Without Pay? Well, LWP has a stigma associated with it and requires approval. Vacation time is far easier to obtain and use. Oh well, wishful thinking.

This'll teach me to plan vacations on back-to-back weekends. Oh wait, I just planned a similar thing (Italy and SF) for February, LOL! By the end of Jan, I would've accumulated 27,782 flight miles, making me Premier/Silver on United. And by the end of Feb, I should have 40,782 flight miles. Am I the biggest travel whore on the planet or what? @ 17:45

[tell it like it is] Senator Clinton (D-NY) at the MLK Day celebration at Rev Al Sharpton's National Action Network:

"We have a culture of corruption, we have cronyism we have incompetence I predict to you that this administration will go down on history as one of the worst that has ever governed out country."

"When you look at the way the House of Representatives has been run, it has been run like a plantation and you know what I'm talking about..."

On the same day, Al Gore delivers this at the DAR Constitution Hall in DC:

"Just one month ago, Americans awoke to the shocking news that in spite of this long settled law, the Executive Branch has been secretly spying on large numbers of Americans for the last four years and eavesdropping on large volumes of telephone calls, e-mail messages, and other Internet traffic inside the United States."

"What we do know about this pervasive wiretapping virtually compels the conclusion that the President of the United States has been breaking the law repeatedly and persistently."

"A president who breaks the law is a threat to the very structure of our government."

"We have a duty as Americans to defend our citizens' right not only to life but also to liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It is therefore vital that immediate steps be taken to safeguard our Constitution against the present danger posed by the President's apparent belief that he need not live under the rule of law."

"A special counsel should immediately be appointed by the Attorney General to remedy the obvious conflict of interest that prevents him from investigating what many believe are serious violations of law by the President."

Freedom's enemy sleeps in the White House. @ 17:32

January 14, 2006

[i'm ba-ack!] After a thoroughly uneventful 6 1/2 hour flight across the pond (see, London is not that much farther than the West Coast) on the last United flight out of IAD, we're here! (hat tip to ChrisFT for the idea to manipulate the Great Circle Mapper)

London is, um, drizzly (I'm not kidding), dark, dank, gloomy, cloudy, overcast, wet, cold, did I mention dark?... in short, miserable and fetch. Coz London is LondON.. uh-huh, some new slogan thingie *cringe*. I much preferred Cool Britannia.

Anywho, I slept practically the whole way here so when we landed, I was thoroughly refreshed; OK, maybe not thoroughly but I wasn't the walking dead. Yup, I skipped dinner - I had a sushi dinner at Yoko prior.. shout out to Ms. I-just-started-my-new-GS15-job Nicole! - and barely ate breakfast (croissants are my downfall). Other random observations:

- We chased a BA 747 the entire way across the Atlantic. They took off before us, but we landed first! Yay for the speedy 777. I was all giddy that we would beat that entire plane load of passengers to immigration... until I realized we were in T3; all BA flights land in T4. Bah.

- Flight attendants on this flight were unquestionably the creme of the crap. Hands down the least motivated AND most hideous crew I've ever had. But I barely cared since I was sleeping.

- Three empty seats in business class! The last flight to LHR is the way to go (unless you wanna use up a vacation day and take the daylight flight).

- I'm glad I didn't eat coz the choices were filet mignon (um, overcooked PLUS I don't eat red meat), tilapia (not bad, but pomodoro sauce? STANK!), and vegetarian (hello, if I wanted to be a cow, I'd moo).

- Stank food, stank service, stank IFE, stank seats, stank aircraft... which brings me to the inevitable comparison with my First Class experience on Lufthansa and Singapore Airlines a couple of months ago. The difference is enough to make you weep, crawl out of the plane in mid-air, jump off and latch on to another plane. ANY plane. BA? I'll take it...

- My mid-air slumber was helped immensely by the Lufthansa First Class eye shades (so light and silky you barely know it's on your face), fluffy slippers (not too big, not too tight... juuuuuust nice), and ear plugs (so yellow you can't tell they're in my ears). The only downer was the seat which "only" reclined 150°. The 30° makes a HUGE difference.

Heathrow was a breeze this morning. We made it from gate to our hotel in 1 hour; would've been faster had we not (a) just missed the HEX and had to wait 15 mins for the next one, and (b) delays all over London today - HEX, Tube, etc. Strike? Maybe. Track work? Everywhere. And Queensway station is closed! That put a serious crimp in our plans for the day.

Speaking of the Tube. I used to love it. I may still do. It's nostalgic. But OMB, I'm never complaining about DC Metro ever again. The Tube is a claustrofuck in comparison, and hideously expensive. Did you know they raised the fares to £3 for a single journey in Zone 1?! 10 years ago, it was £1.10! Ridick. They have this new Oyster thing which barely appeals to short-term visitors coz it costs £3 to get one and the all-day pass is only 50p cheaper. Still, it would be a cool thing to have (it's akin to SmarTrip or HK's Octopus) but not cool enough to have to stand in Disneyland lines to get one. Yup, they just introduced this new fare system and everyone is clamoring for an Oyster. Lines to ticket counters at all subway stations are a ZOO! I have no idea why they don't just let you buy the Oyster from a dispensing machine.

OK, enough bitchin'. We're back from lunch (duck rice in Bayswater, yummy) and shopping (H&M, of course). Tony's knackered and snoring away, coz he didn't sleep much on the plane. I'm sitting here typing away, takin' it easy. Dinner is in 2 hours. Hope y'all are having fun in DC! Especially the ones spending all w/end honoring MLK by going to SE ;-) *muah* @ 16:31 London or 11:31 DC

January 13, 2006

[euro adventure] In honor of our last night out together before he flies off to Italy for the Olympics (the only event he'll be participating in is ice hockey.. as in doing the entire ice hockey team), Jason and I crashed JR's happy hour last night with Peter/Gary/Kirk and Evan. The Mean Girls were out in force as well, and we reminisced about DJ Abel. And ChrisFT is going to Tokyo! OMB... He is gonna be the biggest (certainly the tallest) thing there since Godzilla. Literally. But you and I know bitch is harmless.

Anywho, JR's wasn't fetch. In fact, wasn't it quite dead? No matter, I won't be seeing Wonka and his sputtering factory (gurrrl, once in the past two months?! it's either gonna stop functioning... or fall off!) in DC for the next month and a half or so, so we drank enough last night to hold us through the Opening Ceremonies, at least. And what better way to accomplish that than to pound enough drinks to make the $9 all-you-can-drink worthwhile. Fetch.

Happy Hour ends and we traipse across town (it seemed like it!) to Alberto's for "dinner". Jason, fresh out of AA (Alberto's Anonymous), walks in and gives the lady behind the counter a hug like she was his mother, screaming "I'm gonna miiiiiiiss youuuuuuu!". She had no clue. I think I'm gonna have to bring him a slice when I go visit next month, or else she might start eating the pizza there.. Eating pizza in Italy?? That would be unacceptable ;-)

Anywho, we looked like we were starving Laotians who had never seen pizza before at Alberto's. You should've seen how fast we wolfed down a whole slice of pizza, even though I already had dinner waiting for me at home. I was so drunk I didn't care, I just needed food and Alberto's was closer than home *giggle*. The problem with that is when I got home, I didn't want to offend Tony who had been slaving all night making stew pork for me, so I ate my second dinner of the evening. Bitches, I was seriously bloated after my second meal. Tony had no clue but I was laying on the couch like a beached whale, moaning and groaning all night. He thought I was just drunk (and I probably was, lol), but I was really just full!

And so, our Euro adventure begins! I'm flying across the pond tonight, and Jason will head off to Turin on Sunday *sob*. I'm gonna miss you, Wonka!! DC won't be the same... @ 15:38

[300 million] A baby is born in America every 8 seconds. Someone dies every 12 seconds. Someone immigrates to the US every 31 seconds. Add all those up and the population of the USA, the third most populous nation in the world after China and India, is expected to top 300 million some time this year; almost 40 years after it hit 200 million (1967), and just over 90 years after it hit 100 million (1915).

And what a century it has been. Back in the second decade of the 20th century, America had 1/3rd the number of people today, and was 90% white. Today, there will soon be 300 million Americans, and only 67% of them are white. The 300 millionth baby will likely be a minority, and will live longer - 85-90 on average - in a nation that will be more crowded. Even the word majority will disappear sometime mid-century. It has taken 230 years for the United States to reach 300 million people. And just when you thought you are running out of elbow room, the 400 million mark will be passed in less than 40 years from now.

But fret not. America would need 800 more million people to approach the population density of Europe today. And China, with about the same land area as the US, has 1 billion more people. Or you could move to Japan where this year marks a significant milestone in Japanese demographics - the population will fall for the first time since record-keeping began more than a century ago. From 128mn, the population is expected to fall to 100mn in 50 years' time. Even so, Japan's population density today is ten times that of the United States.

The world, on the other hand, continues to grow. The 7 billionth person will be born in 2012, only 13 years since the 6 billionth. The world is getting crowded. @ 13:52

[£1/mile] I'm such an idiot. I procrastinated on buying Heathrow Express (aka HEX, the non-stop train from Heathrow to London) tickets until a few days ago and the price went up by £1 over the New Year. Grr. I was thinking that I would wait to see if the exchange rate dropped (it didn't). And then I wanted to wait till my next billing cycle on my card (Jan 1st). Yup, a costly mistake.

Back in '98 when it first opened, the tickets were something like £20 round-trip. It's been increasing by £1/year or so, and now it's £26! It was £25 just last week, double grr. At £14.50 each way, for a journey of 16.5 miles, the cost is almost £1/mile (actually, 88 pence/mile but whatever). Think about it, if Acela charged that much for DC-NYC, the one-way fare would be $320!

It ended up costing us $92 for two round-trip tickets on the HEX, eep! The Hong Kong Airport Express, which also opened in 1998 and takes 24 minutes to travel the 21-mile journey from HKG to Hong Kong Island, only costs HK$180 ($23) round-trip; about half the cost of the HEX.

Still, it's better than the £40-£60 cab ride into the West End. Yes, visiting *The* Queen herself (the original one) is very, very expensive. But one must pay homage at least once (or twice) a year, to retain one's queeniness (queendom?). Natch. @ 11:30

[wp express] My daily 12-minute subway-riding ritual now consists of reading the Washington Post Express. And because my subway rides are so short, it takes both my morning and evening commutes to finish reading the entire paper. And bitches, I am a *fast* reader.

I'm not sure if you non-subway riding bitches even know what the Express is. Then again, I'm not sure if you "I get on at Brookland/Petworth/East Bumfuck station" subway-riding bitches even *get* the Express. They usually hand 'em out at the entrance to the Metro stations? Ring a bell? Never seen 'em before? Well, that's coz you get on at STANK-VILLE/-WORTH/-LAND station on the TRAGIC line :-D

Kidding (no, I'm not). So, maybe it's only a Dupont thing.. Or they hand 'em out to target audiences at stations in affluent neighborhoods. Coz I definitely don't see the WP ladies handing out papers at Federal Center or L'Enfant. Oh well, that's what you get for getting on at stank stations *giggle*

Anywho, I *love* Page 2. It's like the Page 3 in the London tabloids, but not quite that risque or graphic. It's more like trashy little tidbits called "eye Openers". It's fun! Today's was crazy...

"Tulua, Colombia, is considering a law to require males over the age of 14 to carry a condom on them at all times or risk a fine. After a poll showed young men in the community started having sex at age 15, the town council decided that, as an AIDS prevention technique, carrying condoms were as important as identification cards, councilman William Pena said. Instead of the fine, perpetrators could take an AIDS prevention course. "This is a country with a lot of sexual activity and Tulua is no exception," Pena said. "This measure would not oblige anyone to have sex, only to protect themselves."

:-o I love it. Can you imagine a mayor of a town/city in the US saying something like that? And do we really need a "concealed condom" law in Dupont? Wouldn't that be redundant? ;)

And I guess we know where one should go to find a bunch of horny Hispanics.. and have safe sex while you're at it.

And more...

"Now, if they can only figure out a way to make green eggs, Dr. Seuss' vision will come to fruition. That's because National Taiwan University has successfully created pigs that glow fluorescent green in the dark. Scientists said they used jellyfish DNA in the breeding of these three glowing pigs - shown here (picture omitted, sorry) in October - marking a breakthrough in stem cell research. The team said glowing genetic material could be useful in studying diseases because it's "easy to spot.""

So cool. But ohmy. Don'cha think it's a lil' wrong, or just plain weird? Jellyfish and Pigs?? What will they think of next, Humans and Pigs? Oh wait.. that's called the Male species :-D

First there was Dolly. Then, that whole South Korean faux-netic engineering scandal, and now this? These Asians and their DNA manipulation are beginning to frighten me. But till then, we could have a whole new line of "fun in the dark" animals! That will be all the rage Christmas of '06.

And I don't even know where to begin with this one:

"Fetuses (feti?) do not count as passengers when it comes to carpool lanes, a Phoenix judge ruled Tuesday. Candace Dickinson was fined $367 for improper use of a carpool lane on Nov. 8, but she contended the fetus in her womb allowed her to use the lane. Motorists who use the lanes normally must carry at least one passenger during weekday rush hours. The judge said an individual must occupy a "separate and distinct" space in a vehicle."

I could make this whole thing into a political fracas (what kind of ignorant, bible-thumping, pro-life, creationist bimbo are you to think you can count an unborn child as a vehicle occupant??), but I'm frankly more amazed at the $367 fine. I personally would've sent her to jail for pure stupidity, thinking that (a) she could count her fetus as a separate "passenger", and (b) that she even thought to use such a preposterous excuse just to use the HOV lanes!

Do you think airlines should charge a pregnant women an additional "child fare"? If you have two other children and you're pregnant, should Metro charge you for an additional "person" since only two kids can ride free with a full-fare paying adult? Puh-leez. @ 10:58

[so wrong, yet...] ...so funny! Aren't most things that are totally un-PC, and wrong to say, funny anyway? Some excerpts from the Daily Kos about Martha-Ann Alito's little tear-jerker the other day:

"Yes! Yesss!! Oh, let me taste your tears,
Martha-Ann! Mmm, your tears are so yummy and sweet!"

"Poor woman... she probably teared up when she saw what a bigot she was married to... I'd cry, too."

"What a whiny little b*tch. I'm GLAD she was reduced to tears. These hyper-pampered Stepford wives have never endured anything more stressful than making it to Saks Fifth Avenue before it closes."

LOL!! OK, that was mean (no it wasn't). But seriously, who gives a flying fuck if she cries or not?

And, um, I can totally relate to remark #3. @ 10:01

January 12, 2006

[shopping tips] Sage advice - aka shopping tip #1 - from Yours Truly, as Jason is on a prowl/rampage thru Georgetown wondering if he should buy a new wardrobe for Torino or not:

"Never argue with Beauty. Or Desire."

Now, chant it till your credit is used, and abused... and files a restraining order against you. @ 15:15

January 11, 2006

[the need for speed] 0 to 60 in 2.1 seconds (!), 0 to 100 in 6 seconds, 0 to 200 in 20 seconds... And in 53 mind-blowing seconds, it reaches its marquee speed: 253mph (407km/h). At that speed, you can go from DC to NYC in 48 minutes. Ah, but you can't. At top speed, this vehicle runs out of gas in only 12 minutes :-o LOL! You're joking, right?

So what is it? It's the world's fastest and most expensive production car on the planet. The 8.0 liter, 16-cylinder, 1,000 horsepower (!!!), quad-turbo engine Bugatti Veyron. And at €1 million, it is the stuff of irrational and exuberant wet dreams.

And don't even bother asking about gas mileage. If you can shell out $1.25mn for a car, you won't care that it only gets 7/10 mpg. At its top speed, the Veyron uses a gallon of fuel for every 2 1/2 miles travelled, emptying its 26 gallon tank in twelve minutes. Yup, you can go 60 miles at 253mph on one tank of gas.

This must be the fastest penis extension on the planet. @ 19:10

[heath & jake] OMB, Jake Gyllenhaal is a bottom?? Mmm, I want to be hugged by Heath Ledger...

It's weird, as I was typing this, they played Brokeback's trailer on, no surprise, Bravo TV... during Project Runway! LOL. Talk about Target Audience. @ 18:36

[IMAX-tastic] On Sunday, after a somewhat drunk brunch with Ben/Mike and Scott (who I promise never to ignore at a bar again *giggle*) at Cashion's, Tony and I checked out Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire at the Lockheed Martin IMAX Theater in the National Air and Space Museum. I've seen the movie in a conventional movie theater already, so this was quite a drag to get me to go. But y'know, we were celebrating our 104 month-niversary (stop laughing) so I was like, why not.

It was, in a word, eh. I mean yea, the screen was huuuuuge. And size definitely matters, although it seems like angle does too *giggle*... especially, when it comes to where your seats are relative to the screen. Aaaanywho, the movie was interesting on the big screen but not interesting enough for me to sit through all 2h 30m of it. Plus, this theater is like 30 years old and the seats were from a bygone era where people put up with all sorts of shit at the movies. The ultimate movie experience these days calls for nothing less than plush, rocking chairs with huge armrests and enough cupholders to rival a car. Natch.

And here's the other thing about IMAX. My first ever IMAX experience (I still remember this very, very vividly) was at the Omni-Theatre in Singapore's uber-hitech-and-fun Science Centre. I was, 15? The show was some flyover/under/through thing over bridges and oceans and volcanoes and lava, etc. I think it was "Ring of Fire" but I'm not sure. Yea, yea, I know, why watch it at an IMAX theatre when I can just look at my ass, go ahead make jokes about my "Pacific Rim" (bitches). Anywho, it was Thrilling with a capital "T". I remember leaving the theater stunned and spellbound.

So here's the diff: The Omni-Theatre is equipped with IMAX dome (OMNIMAX) technology projected on a tilted dome screen. What does that mean? The 75' x 53' (5-storeys) screen wraps around you 180° from shoulder-to-shoulder. Literally. The Air and Space's IMAX theater, on the other hand, has a flat 75' x 48' screen (slightly larger than the Uptown - DC's largest conventional screen) with no wrap-around. It's just plain ol' direct view, although the screen is large enough to fill your peripheral vision. Nonetheless, the difference, if you've never experience them both before, is startling.

So do me a favor, the next time you're in a city that has an IMAX Dome, go check it out. You won't regret it. @ 17:19

[wet, wet, wet] Isn't this lovely? The weather forecast for London the entire time I'm there:

Sat	Sun	Mon
Showers High: 48° Low: 42°	Showers High: 51° Low: 41°	Showers High: 49° Low: 38°

What's new, right? Not that that's any different from DC today. Was out for a fetch lunch with Jason, Evan and Liz just now at a Thai restaurant on Capitol Hill and it was cold, dreary and dank. The weather here is preparing me for London, it seems.

Still, I can't wait. I haven't been to London in more than a year now. Back then, the £ was worth a scorching US$1.9! I got a coronary each time I whipped out a £1 coin. This time around, it's about US$1.76 so it's not so bad. That means more shopping for me, wheeee! And I haven't seen Melissa in, what, almost 2 1/2 years now? It's been so long. Plus, I need a vacation. I haven't had one since... last month? :-D @ 16:37

[unstoppable II] China's dramatic and unparalleled rise as a global economic power were reflected by her trade figures for 2005. $762bn in exports (+28%), $660bn in imports (+18%), total foreign trade exceeded $1.4 trillion, making China the world's third-largest foreign trader, after the United States and Germany, surpassing even Japan's export juggernaut. Just 10 years ago, China's total trade was $289bn.

China's blockbuster trade surplus zoomed from $32bn in 2004, to $102bn in 2005! China's trade surplus with the US reached a record $114.7bn, up 45% from a year ago. China's trade surplus with the EU was $70bn in 2005.

China will soon have more foreign currency reserves than any other country in the world, giving it even more power to influece global interest rates. As of Nov '05, China reported having about $794bn in foreign currency reserves, just behind Japan's $828bn.

China's Gross Domestic Product (GDP) is expected to rise from No. 6 to No. 4 in the world after a torrid and blistering 10.1% growth in 2004 and 9.8% in 2005, leapfrogging Italy's $1.67tn, France's $2.05tn and Britain's $2.14tn (2004 numbers). China's GDP growth rate since 2000 have been 8.4% (2000), 8.3% (2001), 9.1% (2002), and 10.0% (2003), which means in the span of 5 years (2000-2005), China's economy has expanded by over 70% (!!), and tripled since 1994. The numbers are jaw-dropping and mind-boggling.

Just imagine, the total number of people working in China - 760mn - exceeds the *entire* populations of the United States (295mn) and the European Union (456mn) combined.

China has replaced the US as the world's top consumer, eclipsing the world's richest economy in consumption of four of the five basic food, energy and industrial commodities - grain, meat, coal and steel, and loses out to the United States only in oil (China is 2nd). And not just barely. In all categories: grain (382mn tonnes vs 278mn tonnes), meat (64mn tonnes vs 38mn tonnes), coal (800mn tonnes vs 574mn tonnes) and steel (258mn tonnes vs 104mn tonnes), China's consumption stomps the United States'. Sales of almost all consumer products are skyrocketing in China, especially of electronics - China has 269mn cell phones vs 159mn in the US. And for a fun fact: China consumed 28.64mn kiloliters of beer compared to 23.97mn kl in the US in 2004. Among leading consumer products, China trails the US only in automobiles and it will only be a matter of time before China overtakes the US in the use of PCs. The number of PCs in China are doubling every 28 months. And China's per capita income is only a fraction of the developed economies ($1,500 vs $40k in the US).

China's economic juggernaut is unstoppable.

"When China wakes, it will shake the world" - Napoleon Bonaparte. @ 15:51

[unstoppable] Apple Computer, Inc. sold a staggering 14 million iPods during the holiday Q4 of 2005 (Oct-Dec), or more than 100 iPods every *minute*. Q4 sales alone accounted for fully one-third of all 42mn iPods in circulation, which means the number of iPods increased by 50% in just three months :-o

During Q4, Apple recorded $5.7bn in sales, $1bn of them in the company's chain of 135 retail stores aka "church" ;-) The iTunes Music Store has now sold 850mn copies of songs or 83% of the online music sales market. That's approaching Microsoft levels of domination. At MacWorld in SF yesterday, Steve Jobs unveiled the first Apple PCs ever to use an Intel chip, hoping that the Mac-tel combo will juice up sales of Apple PCs that now number around 1.25mn or 4% of the market, a fraction of the Win-tel monopoly.

Apple's stock has leapt from $11 in 01/2004, to $38 in 01/2005, and it is now hovering at $84, a record high. The iPod juggernaut looks unstoppable at this point. Yummy, juice Apple. @ 14:01

January 10, 2006

[totally off-color] OMB. Do NOT continue reading if you are easily offended! Lemme set the stage, Jason is with his ex (black man) at Tar-gay, at the Returns line.

Jason:: At first, the lady was looking at him while he was trying to return
I looked at her and said, I wouldn't accept it, he's a known shoplifter
Kiat:: lol
Jason:: The woman started to laugh and said "he has a receipt."
Kiat:: mary, you're bad
Jason:: I replied "well, he has a receipt printer at home too!"
Kiat:: especially since he's black
Jason:: lol
i know, right!
but it gets even better!
he's eyes were about to fall out of his head with that comment
and to finish
she asked how he wanted the refund
Kiat:: FOOD STAMPS
Jason:: I said "give him all one's, he's going to the strip clubs in SE"
Kiat:: LOL
Jason:: LOL

:-o

Why wasn't I there?! I would've been like "Gurrrrl, Asians don't steal". LOL!!! @ 10:33

January 9, 2006

[we want meters!] DC has, perhaps, the most bumfuck, third-world taxicab system in the industrialized world. It's pathetic, embarassing and incomprehensible for most residents, not to mention tourists. As a tourist, the first thing you'll notice is the absence of a meter (amongst other things.. like, oh, seatbelts). Uh-huh, DC taxis run on a zone system. Much of downtown DC - from our house to Capitol Hill - is in the same zone and it costs $5.50 to go within one zone and $7.60 to go two zones.

So, yea.. it's fucking annoying to pay $5.50 to go 4 blocks to JR's (or usually from JR's, LOL), and even more stupid to pay $7.60 to go to Adams Morgan or Georgetown. And then, you are expected to tip! So you end up paying $7 and $9 respectively. Grr...

But wait, there's more. There is a $1 rush hour surcharge (OK, fair enough). And there's also a $1.50 surcharge for each additional passenger. The cars themselves are one pothole away from falling apart. Each ride through DC's pothole-ridden streets is a bone-rattling endeavor. Suspension? What's that? Depending on the time of the year, the cab driver will either refuse to turn on the A/C, or the heat. The window might be open, regardless of whether you want your hair to look "windswept", and the driver may be going 55 in a 25 zone while talking into a cellphone. Not to mention some DC cab drivers are racist, and I've witnessed this with my own eyes as they actually bypass their own in favor of white passengers *gasp*

Mmm-hmm. Add to all that the fact that cab drivers can pick anyone up along the way, and you have the makings of a taxi system that rivals, oh, Kinshasa.

And today, to add insult - and scrubbing really, really coarse salt - to injury, the zone fares go up by 18% to $6.50 for one zone, $8.80 for two, etc. (I've never gone more than 2 zones.. that would land me in *gasp* Anacostia!). But this is fun: there has been a fuel surcharge for the past 4 months or so of $1.50, so in effect, the cost to go within one zone has dropped from $7 to $6.50. LOL! So whaddya think, with tip, should I continue to give $8 for one zone? Or go back to $7? A 50-cent tip seems cheap doesn't it? Still can't escape the $10 cab fare to Secrets/Wet/Nation though. Sigh.

It could be worse. The meter could start at ¥660 ($5.70), like they do in Tokyo. Or hop in a London black cab and pay £10.40 ($18.30!) for a 2-mile journey - the most expensive in the world. Eep!

Still, I'm practically begging for the NYC Taxi Commission to take over DC and introduce the Taxicab Rider Bill of Rights. Yellow cabs are fetch. We want meters! @ 19:35

[7,486] I love numbers. And I'm damn good with them too. I'm Asian aren't I? ;) Aaaaanywho tonight, the Great White Way celebrates a new champion for the longest-running show in Broadway history: Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber's "The Phantom of the Opera", topping "Cats" (also by Lord Webber) which closed in Sept 2000 after 7,485 performances. The Phantom opened on Jan 26, 1988, winning 7 Tony Awards including Best Musical, and has since haunted romantics in NYC for the past 18 years. 80 million people in 24 countries have been lovestruck by "All I Ask of You" (my favorite song in the musical), contributing to Phantom's staggering gross of $3.2bn and making it the most successful entertainment venture of all time - far surpassing Titanic's worldwide gross of $1.85bn.

I love Phantom. Together with Miss Saigon (my first musical ever) and Les Mis, they shaped my musicals experience during my college years, as they were the dominant titles in London's West End at that time. Cameron Mackintosh - who produced all three - is a genius. I still remember crying like a lost puppy after watching Miss Saigon - no, I don't want to be her.. she kills herself :-p. Do you remember "The Last Night of the World"? Ohh, pass the Kleenex.

The new ad campaign for Phantom, aptly titled "Remember Your First Time" (assuming that everyone on Earth has already seen the chandelier crashing down, and the paper faces on parade at least once) promises to keep the "Music of the Night" from fading away.

"Softly, Gently, Night unfurls its splendor..." @ 17:06

[11,000] For the first time in 4 1/2 years - indeed, the first time since 9/11 - the Dow soared above 11,000, woohoo! Yes, we are heavily invested in the stockmarket :p Only 700+ points away from its all-time high which occurred 6 years ago this week.

So hot, it's sizzling. No, really. The high today was 61°! Love it. Too bad it was 25° the night we met Mike/Gary at Halo. Those poor LA boys probably didn't know what to do with themselves *giggle*. January has been warm so far, running 5° above average and the forecast calls for high 50s for the rest of the week! Rar!

Of course, then we fly into London this weekend where it's gonna drizzle. The entire time. Wet cold is the pits. Stank. I'm already looking forward to tropical Asia. 10 more days! @ 16:34

January 8, 2006

[roots of corruption] The Republicans have seeded and planted and nurtured a grip on Congress since 1994, like a strong, sturdy 12 year old tree. Well, albeit a racist, bigoted, war-mongering, talks to God, deficit-building, budget-busting, minority-hating, fuck the poor, pro-torture tree that thinks it's above the law on issues like your civil rights... but you get my drift :-D.

That tree got chopped off yesterday when the disgraced and corrupted former House Majority Leader, Rep. Tom DeLay, announched that he will not try to reclaim his former position. And the Republicans are planning to re-grow the tree with a new, um, fertilizer (ok this analogy is getting tired).

Bitches, that tree is corrupted. And you can chop it off, but the roots of corruption are spread far and wide, and dug deep into the earth like a solid foundation. The culture of corruption pervading the Republican Party and the United States Congress will not be eradicated until the tree itself is uprooted.

Take him down. Take 'em all down. Nasty Republicunts. @ 11:35

[i can't wait...] "...for the weekend to begin". And another one ends, sigh.

Dinner at Merkado was fetch - I had this miso-salmon thing with dashi risotto that was TDF (to-die-for, der). Halo was fetcher. I know, two nights in a row! As y'all might know, I've had a smoke-induced cold since New Year's weekend after five consecutive nights of partying in smokey bars. So I made it a point to go to non-smoking places this weekend. And I did. Both Friday and Saturday nights I went to smoke-free Halo. But as with all good plans, we end up at smokey JR's anyway to end the night. I know, bad Kiat.

The innocent fun starts off at Halo every night.. y'know, libations (blindingly strong ones) and cute boys (mmm, stronger the better). Mike/Gary were in town from LA so we met up with them last night. Jason was just back from Indiana so he definitely needed an alco-jolt. Greg/Andy were there (I see them everywhere, those whores), and so was Martin (on both nights), Evan's German loverboy-wannabe (I know, another one??). Lots of other peeps but it was a quiet weekend in DC so it was kinda sedate. Hah, not.

And tawdriness sets in at JR's after. On Friday night, I played matchmaker and hooked Evan up with this boy who kept trying to listen in on our conversation. So obviously I started raising my voice and talking about bottoming and spanking and that did the trick. Stalker boy leaned over and volunteered (his spanker services, not spankee) and the rest is history. Free drinks from Matt last night (sigh, this is why I keep going back to JR's) kicked off the evening of drunk texts and what-not. Evan and I ended the evening at Alberto's. D'uh. We *almost*, very very almost, cabbed it down to Wet for some humpa-humpa, live wet orgy shows. Almost. We really wanted to! Sorry, Peter. Sorry, Gary. We'll make it up to you, we promise! Jason never made it to Alberto's.. or even JR's! Bitch was munching on chocolate at home...

'Nuff said.

So why am I writing this on a Sunday morning? For one, I usually forget the details by Monday morning. But my New Year's resolution was also to not drink to the point of oblivion so I can have healthy weekend mornings of yoga (did on Saturday, check). Or brunch with friends (going to do today, check). Or just to be able to walk (I'm blogging, aren't I? check). Or just not waking up feeling like a foggy bottom (err...).

We'll see how long this lasts, LOL! London next weekend, baby. @ 11:15

[go skins!] I know, how butch of me. But we were patiently waiting for Jason's return to DC last night at Merkado, and the television above the bar was on and, d'uh, were there any tv screens switched on last night that weren't tuned in to the wild card game?

Washington Redskins 17, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 10! Fetch. So now we get to play the NFC's top seed, Seattle Seahawks (13-3) in Seattle next weekend for the division playoffs. So going to lose. The Seahawks like totally creamed the NFC West division. Whoever wins that will play the winner of the Bears-Panthers game in the NFC Championship, and the winner of that will play in Superbowl XL against the AFC champion. Superbowl XL takes place on Feb 5th in Ford Field, Detroit.

Wow, that was WAY butch ;) Of course, I won't even mention any of this again if the Redskins falls to the Seahawks next week. Anywho, so we were at Merkado, watching the game. With half of Dupont's lesbians apparently. Coz everytime the Redskins did something fetch (um, intercepted? touched down? I wasn't paying attention), all the women in the restaurant erupted, and all the men looked around, bewildered, and had this "oh, it's football" look on their faces, before continuing on to the next bitch session with their table partners. Comical. @ 10:37

[the return of...] Drunk-texting! Giggle. Check this out... BTW, Evan/Kiat is using Kiat's phone coz Evan's cheap, lol, and Kiat has unlimited text messaging plan. And just so we're clear, We're drunk!

E/K:: Me love you long time!
Liz:: Who is this?
E/K:: It's Kiat, you bitch.
Liz:: That's what I thought but I didn't want 2 say something crazy if it wasn't u
E/K:: It's me! Your Geisha! Sucky fucky 5 dollah.
Liz:: U are so crazy!
E/K:: Why aren't you here partying with the hot boys at JR's with me and Evan
Liz:: Well i just got my phone yesterday and i did not have either of ur numbers.
E/K:: Well, now you do. Save it, bitch, and don't ever use that excuse on us again ;-)
E/K:: You suck. And you want to.
Liz:: Why do i suck?
E/K:: Coz you suck very well
Liz:: U dont know that!
E/K:: Me love you long, long time!
E/K:: Why aren't you here at JR's with us? It's fetch!
Liz:: No, me love u long time. i wish i was there with u guys.
E/K:: If you were here, we'd worship your boobs.
E/K:: Oh I know it, I know you're naughty and dripping.
E/K:: You're leaking thinking about us aren'cha?
Liz:: Yes i am!
Liz:: U 2 are out of control.
E/K:: Music makes us lose control
E/K:: We love you and we can't wait to have lunch with you!
Liz:: I love u guys 2. we will have lunch this week and i will go out with u guys next weekend.
E/K:: Wednesday lunch at Thai restaurant in Capitol South. Are you game?
Liz:: Yes its a date!
E/K:: Don't stand us up! We'll call you Wednesday!
Liz:: I wont. i cannot wait 2 see u both!
E/K:: Our asses are twitching in anticipation
Liz:: I know u are!

LOL! BTW, this whole "drunk text convo" took place over 21 minutes. Yes, I'm a prolific texter. I've even got punctuation and all that shit! T9 rocks! Oh and Liz is this crazy liberal/blue chick we met on New Year's Eve, from - get this - Arkansas! A very decidedly red state. She even lives 45 minutes from the Texas border! I know right, she's gonna get devoured in DC.

It's great that my phone saves my text messages (I have to clear the memory on a daily basis though) coz I would forget that I made appointments to meet people otherwise! Good times... I *heart* my phone. @ 10:26

January 7, 2006

[34 to 37 to 39] Again?! Groan. I'm not so much annoyed by the price increase as I am with having to buy 2c stamps to supplement the bundles of 37c stamps that I already have. Not to mention I still have 34c stamps from 3 1/2 years ago when the price last went up, and the bundles of 3c stamps to supplement the 34c ones! Why doesn't the post office set up an exchange, giving new 39c stamps for old whatever-value old stamps, and we'll just pay the difference?

And now I'll need 4c supplement stamps coz the price of international mail also went up - from 80c to 84c (yes, I do send mail to Malaysia :-p). I should just put $1 stamps on all my letters and be done with it. @ 12:29

January 6, 2006

[thou shalt not] This is absolutely priceless:

"OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) . An executive committee member of the Southern Baptist Convention was arrested on a lewdness charge for propositioning a plainclothes policeman outside a hotel, police said."

"Lonnie Latham, 59, senior pastor at South Tulsa Baptist Church, was booked into Oklahoma County Jail Tuesday night on a misdemeanor charge of offering to engage in an act of lewdness, police Capt. Jeffrey Becker said. Latham was released on $500 bail Wednesday afternoon."

"Latham, who has spoken out against homosexuality, asked the officer to join him in his hotel room for oral sex. Latham was arrested and his 2005 Mercedes automobile was impounded, Becker said."

Mmm-hmm. Thou shalt not solicit undercover cops! @ 10:03

January 5, 2006

[every 6 hours] What is it with my tummy? It constantly needs food. It sucks. It demands more constant attention from me, than I do from Tony. Actually, if you just connect the dots - since Tony cooks and I eat - my tummy demands constant attention from Tony (amongst other body parts).

Grr. So there we were at Nation. I don't even remember who else but I do know I went to Nation with ChrisFT, Chuck and Joey like, oh, 2 microseconds after we watched the ball drop at my place. Anywho, it cost a fortune to get in ($30! No, bitches, I didn't plan ahead) and the lines were surprisingly thin. But the club itself was packed. Wall-to-wall shirtless boys who had nowhere else to go but drop it to DJ Abel who, btw, spun a slammin' fierce repertoire of delicious club beats. Bitch was so hot I wet my manties. And I had a damn cute pair on that night too ;)

4:30 rolls around and my tummy, which had been growling for a few hours by then, just couldn't take another moment of calorie-burning shakin', so I had to leave. Grr. This is the same exact thing that happened at Madonnarama. I know, right? How could I not have stayed till the end for Madonnarama?! If I couldn't get it up for her, I sure as hell couldn't get it up for DJ Abel.

My tummy cannot go 6 hours without food. Trust me, I had gouged on ribs and wings and what-not before we left for Nation. But all that dancing just made me hungrier and hungrier, to the point where your mind starts repeating over and over again, "I'm hungry, I'm really, really hungry". Sooner or later, I had to succumb. I was starving like a boy in Niger. And this bitch had to leave, cutting short my performance (I don't offer partial refunds) to the fans.

Maybe I need like a snickers bar or something to take with me to the clubs. Probably not a good idea since (a) it would melt; and (b) I don't eat junk food. Whatever it is, I'm this close to filing an injunction against my tummy. Don't piss me off or I'll get all bulimic, like Lindsay, on you! @ 13:33

[hotel v diamond] Don'cha just love it when two gazillionaire heiress-actresses have an all-out, mud-slinging, hair-pulling, eye-gouging, effigy-burning, public romantic tug-of-war bloodbath in court? It's totally fetch. When you have all the money in the world and never have to work a day in your life, what else is there to do but generate publicity by having a public bitchfight? Give it to the fans!

And this is juicy: Diamond heiress-actress Zeta Graff (former lover of Hilton's then-fiancee, Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis) accused hotel heiress-actress Paris Hilton of spewing "vicious lies" to the NY Post. LOL!! Paris? Spewing "vicious lies"? Noooooo, say it ain't so! Then again, is she smart enough to lie?

The best quote from the article is Graff claiming that Hilton said to her "I'm going to destroy you". I love it! How very Hatsu-Hilton of her. *squeal* @ 12:58

[resistance is futile] Can you resist the URGE? The MTV-Microsoft combo brings two heavyweight brands into the digital download market.

And with a war chest of $37.8bn as of 6/30/05 (and that is AFTER Microsoft doled out the largest one-time cash dividend in history - $33bn), Microsoft has a LOT of money to throw around the digital entertainment business it plans to conquer. And this bank account grows by $1bn/month (!).

Can Microsoft topple Apple iTunes' 70% market share? Stay tuned. Competition is good. Jason, are you shaking in your boots? ;-) @ 10:13

January 4, 2006

[i want] ...a panda! He's soooooooo cute.

[one step closer] Towards a smoking ban in DC. The DC Council voted overwhelmingly (11-1... but wtf cares about Carol Schwartz) to pass the smoking ban, which will take effect immediately in all restaurants, and in all bars/clubs in January 2007. The only thing needed before the bill becomes law is Mayor Williams' signature. When (if?) signed, DC will join the immediate Maryland counties of Montgomery, Prince Georges, and Howard that also have smoking bans. Virginia? Pffftttt... Cows will fly before Richmond will allow Arlington or Alexandria to go smoke-free.

The smoking ban cannot come a moment too soon. I'm constantly battling the effects of second-hand smoke on my eyes, throat and lungs. I even have to take Allegra-180 every single night to keep my lungs from choking, and my body from exhibiting cold-like symptoms. And even then, sometimes it's not enough. Like 5 consecutive nights of partying over New Year's weekend... @ 19:57

[kys] World AIDS Day occurred over a month ago on December 1st. It was the 18th one. 2006 marks a very grim and unhappy quarter century since AIDS was first discovered in 1981. Since then, 23.1mn people have died. Today, 40.3mn people are living with HIV and AIDS, 46% of them women and a heartbreaking 2.3mn children under 15. Last year (2005), 4.9mn