March 31st, 2006

[fetchpix] Gee-sus Eff-ing Khwist! Simmer down, bitches. The pictures from JR's/Diner last night are here :-p I can't help it if (a) I was too drunk to upload the pictures to my server last night, or (b) I had to work today, mmm-kay?

Mee tah, chickapee: I don't get the whole Nell thing but it's obviously funny
M2 and Tony: Oldies but not Moldies, giggle! Kirk just joined their 40s club.
Who's Your Daddy?: I always knew he wanted an Asian bf ;-) *bows subserviently*
Kirk: The birthday boy!
Fetch Trinity: "Ohh, yo head so big!"
Chad & Gary: Chad's debut picture. And no, I don't have collagen in my lips!
On Your Knees: (Gary) "Assume your natural position, bitch!", (Chad) "That's right, bitch, mmm-hmm", (Jason) "I'll do anything for you, massa... Waitaminute, you're not black!"
The Finger: Caught on Camera - Jason flipping Evan off? Nawty, nawty...
Fetch Trinity +1: Yeaaa, we're hot... LOL!
Jose & Peter: I still cannot get over the fact that Jose is 24, grrrrr. I want to be the youngest, dammit!
Lovebirds: @ The Diner
Ray of Light: Wow, how did those blades of light get there?
Fetch Trinity +1: I love group pictures. Aren't we a happy bunch?
Maria: How do you solve a problem like Ja-ay-son?
Lovebirds: I'm beginning to think they're abusing my picture-taking services for Friendster. I should start charging.

Y'happy now? :-p @ 16:53

[sneak peek] Does anyone remember what happened last night? LOL! I haven't had a drink since Sunday and alluvasudden, I'm an amateur alluva again at all-u-can-drink. I seriously need to stop slacking off on drinking practice :-)

It was Kirk's 40th and when I arrived, Gary/Kirk, Peter/Mitch, Chad were there, plus M2. Jose, Tony, Rick, Jason and Evan showed up in that order and the party kicked into high gear. I don't remember my third drink coz Jason, arriving at JR's looking like overworked Raggedy McFag, sucked my drink down in 2.1 milliseconds. Then I got my fourth drink, which was really my third drink, and happy hour ended. I'm pretty sure I didn't get another drink after that but I'm not quite sure. I wasn't out to get plastered but I ended up getting sooooo wasted.

So Gary is taking Kirk to London for 6 days next week for his 40th. Awwwww, isn't that sweet? I wanna go too! I can probably fit into their luggage. They each get 70 pounds, put that together and I'll sneak just under their baggage allowance *giggle*. I *heart* London.

Anywho, back to last night. Rick/Jose, Jason and Tony/I hatched a drunken but quite brilliant plan to get dinner at The Diner (by cab, of course, since none of us was sober enough to walk). Well, so did half the world coz we got there, completely shit-faced and making a fool of ourselves, and the wait was like for-Ever. Stank. The food was awesome though. So worth the wait. I had a mojito which was the end of me. I sucked on some ribs and wings, and ate enough french fries to shit mashed potatoes this morning. They were chilli fries at that! OMB. Sooooo delicious, and so waistline-busting. All those french fries were worth the calories though coz I didn't have a hangover this morning. Fetch.

I don't remember how we got home or what time. In fact, after that mojito, I needed a piggyback ride to get just about anywhere. I do remember it was a beautiful night - upper 50s. I love springtime. @ 14:11

[the weekend is here!] I'm not kidding you, but it's 76° outside right now. The day started off above 60 with low humidity, and it's pretty much a perfect day all around today. I drove out to Herndon to have a fetch lunch with Nicole at our favorite Thai restaurant, Thai Luang. The drive was amazingly beautiful, though I will surely pay for the exposure to the pollen-laden air later. My triple cocktail of allergy-fighting drugs (Allegra 180, Patanol eye drops, and Nasacort nasal spray) is working so far but there's no telling when my histamines will erupt like Krakatoa.

I have been quite blase about the cherry blossoms this year. I've seen them for the past 8 years now and it's the same ol' thing every single year. Well, I drove to work with the top down and spied a few fully blossomed trees on Scott Circle (or was it Thomas?) and I was like, "wow". Then, on my way to lunch, I drove across the 14th St Bridge which has an expansive view of the Tidal Basin. I almost crashed my car coz the view was awe-inspiring. The sakura trees are definitely in peak bloom and they were a sea of pink and white and absolutely gorgeous! It's hard to get jaded when some things are just so beautiful. The picture perfect day under a cloudless blue sky helped too.

Downtown DC is gonna be a madhouse this weekend. Going out 66 at 10:30am just now, there was a 6-mi backup on inbound 66 approaching the TR bridge and into the Tidal Basin area. It was madness. Wanna know how many gov't workers flex on Fridays? They're all on 66 right now trying to get downtown. Lemme tell ya, it's a ghost town at work today. They should just give everyone Friday off coz nothing gets done on Fridays anyway. All those people who are on flex-time today probably thought no one else would be headed down to the Tidal Basin area. Silly people.

I only have an hour left to my workday. I've been working crazy hours till 6pm almost everyday, and it paid off by getting me off early on a beautiful day like today, plus I get to see my fav hag for lunch!

It's gonna be 50s and 70s all weekend. The birthday weekend fetch-tivities start at 4pm tomorrow and who knows what time it'll end on Sunday morning. All's I know is I'm ready for the weekend, so, Bring It On! @ 13:46

[meltdown] From WaPo's "A Meltdown We Can't Even Enjoy" today:

"It's frustrating. The three overlapping forces that have sent this country in so many wrong directions -- the conservative movement, the neoconservative movement and the Republican Party -- are warring among themselves, doing their best impression of crabs in a barrel, and sensible people can't even enjoy the spectacle. That's because it's hard to take pleasure in the havoc they've caused and the disarray they will someday leave behind."

"It would all be entertaining if the stakes weren't so high. Iraqis and Americans are dying; the treasury is bleeding; real people, not statistics, are at the center of the immigration debate. Iran is intent on joining the nuclear club. Hallowed American traditions of privacy, fairness and due process are being flouted, and thus diminished."

"To this point, I think the Democratic Party has done just what it needed to do, which was basically to sit back and watch the other side wear itself down. When one party is in charge of the White House and both sides of Capitol Hill, there's not much the other party can do anyway."

"Democrats have behaved with remarkable discipline, which shows how much they believe they need to win this fall and in 2008. What they haven't yet done is communicate a compelling vision of where they will take the country when they are given the reins. Dry position papers, drafted by committee, aren't enough. Make us see a better future."

The Democrats to the rescue, picking up the pieces of America's government, finances, social and moral fabric, reputation, and our democracy itself after 8 years of mismanagement. Eight long years of the Republican Party basically running this country into the ground, smashing the American Dream into pieces for all but a select few.

7 more months till the 2006 mid-terms. Are we finally ready for change? @ 13:28

March 30, 2006

[good distractions] Spring beckons with fantastic 70s weekend weather. April is nigh. Lots of good distractions this weekend, and lots of wells to draw strength from. I got a fetch lunch with Nicole tomorrow. Then, the weekend is gonna be packed with Rick's 31st fetch-tivities. It'll be one big drunkfest with all my peeps, drowning everything in its path. Everything.

Whatever happens...

NO JAEGER SHOTS! Y'hear me, bitches? ;-) @ 16:56

[pieces of me] Does time really heal everything? Or does it just drag it out so long that you get so sick of crying and hurting, and numbness sets in? Do we really recover? Or does a part of you just die?

You'd think your heart can't break anymore because it's already been broken before, for whatever reason. But it does. And every single time it shatters, I find myself picking up the pieces again. Pieces of me.

There are so many pieces to pick up, I don't know where to begin. Every piece is heavier than the one before. I can't really put them back together. So, I'm just gonna have to carry them with me, and move on.

No, time is not very healing. Not right now. It might be spring outside, but inside it's winter. Everyday it gets harder. It's hard to tell when it will get easier.

I just gotta believe in myself again. I just gotta stop seeing barren trees, and start seeing life's pretty blossoms. Till then, faking a smile, forcing a laughter. Everyday. @ 16:50

[i'll take the cash] Credit card fees suck the sweat of a mountain goat's ass. This is why I use a Capital One credit card for all overseas transactions:

"Almost every credit card charges some sort of international transaction fee on purchases overseas. Visa and MasterCard charge a 1% processing fee on international transactions, and most card-issuing banks add their own fees on top of that. These fees, known as international transaction fees or foreign transaction fees, are generally a percentage of your overall purchase price."

How do the major credit card issuers stack up? Below are the international transaction fees from each issuer:

Capital One: 0% transaction fee. (Capital One not only doesn't impose its own fee, but it also eats the 1% fee that Visa or MasterCard impose.)

Providian: 1% transaction fee

American Express: 2%

Juniper Bank: 2%

Bank of America: 3%

Chase: 3% (my other Visa card - UA)

Citibank: 3%

HSBC: 3%

MBNA: 3%

U.S. Bancorp (U.S. Bank): 3%

Wells Fargo: 3%

It sounds trivial, but on a $5,000 international trip, I save $150 if I use my Capital One card vs my United card (although I'll lose out on 5,000 miles), or a $100 savings compared to using my Amex card. Plus, Capital One gives me 1% cashback, so that makes it a $200 savings.

Let's see... $200 or 5,000 miles. I'll take the cash, thanks. @ 11:21

March 29, 2006

[credit woes] For very specific reasons (rates, fees, etc.), I have a Capital One card which I only use internationally. My mom has a supplementary CapOne card coz, der, she uses the card almost 100% of the time in Malaysia (or buying bird's nest in China *giggle*).

I haven't had any problems with the CapOne card in the past 6 months... until today. My mom tried to pay for her annual (sometimes it feels more like bi-monthly *grin*) trip to China a couple of days ago, and the card was declined. It was only like $870+ or so. But a few hours later, she paid for lunch with the card and it worked fine.

Furious, I called Capital One today and demanded an answer. They blamed the "mishap" on their "fraud alert system" and that their "system" identified the charge as one from Malaysia, and since the card's address is in DC, blah blah blah. Same ol' tired bullshit, identical to the one I heard from my previous credit card company who I booted faster than they could say "0% APR". I retorted that there had been 6 months of continuous charges from Malaysia without any "mishaps" from their "system", so why alluvasudden are these charges from Malaysia triggering their "system" now? They regurgitated the same ridiculous crap about how Malaysia is a "high-risk credit fraud" nation (it is, actually), at which point I just didn't wanna hear anymore.

I really don't know what else to do at this point. Their "system" is never going to get any better, because they're not going to override it for just my account, or pay a human to watch my account and my account alone. I can switch credit card companies to my heart's content, but inevitably I will arrive at this point again.

The worst part about all this is my poor mother, who will wield my card and use it each time with a cloud of fear hanging overhead... wondering if it will get denied (and the embarassment that follows) because of some "system" in the US that is too stupid to process the fact that it is denying me the only way I can make my mother happy from 10,000 extremely distant and heartwrenching miles away.

I can't help but feel that I've failed her.

Why do I keep failing? @ 14:33

[total eclipse] So I was like, the moon revolves around the Earth every month which means it is bound to get between the Earth and the sun *every month* causing a total solar eclipse somewhere on this planet *every month*, right? *Buzzer* Wrong!

Apparently, the orbit of the moon is tilted at an angle of 5.8° to the plane of the earth's orbit around the sun (no, I didn't just pull that out of my ass). Because of this tilt, the passages of the moon between the sun and the Earth that are either above or below the direct line between the earth and the sun, do not cause eclipses. But every year, at least two eclipses will occur (and a maximum of 5) so it's not *that* rare.

But... total solar eclipses are very rare. Because the moon's orbit around the Earth is elliptical, total solar eclipses only happen when the moon is closest to the Earth. At other times, it is called an annular eclipse. Therefore, total solar eclipses only occur once every 18 months or so. They never last more than 7m 40s (they are usually much shorter, like the one today lasted only 4 minutes), and the next one will not occur until August 1st, 2008. But pretty much nobody will see that one coz it passes thru (almost) uninhabited areas of Canada, Russia and China.

In this millennium (yes, that's 2001-3000), Shanghai will only see 2. And the reason why I bring up Shanghai is coz that's the next major city to experience a total solar eclipse (on July 22nd, 2009), followed by another one 300 years after. Beijing is luckier - they'll get to see 6 (!) in the next 1000 years, although the next one doesn't occur until 2035.

And then of course I find out that there has never been a total solar eclipse visible from Washington, DC in recorded history. Unbelievable. The closest one was a 95% partial eclipse in 1970 (wayyyyy before I was born). The next two total eclipses of the sun in the United States will occur in 2017 and 2024. Both will only be seen as partial eclipses from DC, although the 2024 one will be very, very close.

If you're bored, check out NASA's Eclipse Home Page, especially the solar eclipse page. If you're a geek like me, it'll occupy you for hours... at work :-D @ 13:56

March 28, 2006

[weekend pics] Without further ado:

Gloryhole Booth: What did I tell ya?
Stripper Pole: "Ass pick up coins!", but since I don't carry change...
Jason: More like "One Team, One Hole"
Indebleu: Venue for our fetch lunch
Pom-fili: Rick and Jason at Zaytinya.. Are there any pictures of you two without a drink in your hands?
Minority Rule: This one's called "Zengo"
Fetch Trinity: Hmm, OK I have a drink in my hand too, LOL
Pamela's Boobs I: @ Cobalt. Check out the dildo-bunny rabbit ears on the bride-to-be!!
Pamela's Boobs II: What can I say.. Gay men love big tits (shout out to the Real Mary!)
Candy Necklace: I thought the next pic would be Jason getting a lap dance too!
Trinity + Corey: Jason doing his best Asian giggle. Bitch, no one does it better than me!
Fetch Trinity: Let's just say JR's misses us! We're baaaaah-ack. Bigger (Rick), Better (Jason post-Torino), and Stronger (me... hopefully)

Hmm, no pictures from JR's Sunday night. It was just way too crowded.

This concludes the weekend series. This coming weekend promises to be fun-filled as well, since Rick will be celebrating his 31st (bitch is getting old). I shall be part of the festivities so you'll hear all about it. @ 23:15

[three-peat weekend] Didn't I say I was gonna keep it short? Sigh.

We woke up in *pain* on Saturday morning. We had some noodle soup (which Jason took two hours to eat) before going to yoga. After yoga, Jason and I drove to Georgetown for Zara, Mexx, H&M and Club Monaco. Wha.. wait.. Club who? I walked in, held my nose, looked at Jason and was like "there is a stench in here... of *bad fashion*!". I only shop in European clothing stores, spankuverymuch.

We were starving and I had a massive pregnancy-induced craving (in sympathy with Naomi, who's about to pop aaaaany moment now) for oysters so we picked Tony up and rushed to Hank's (yes, we drove) only to find that it was closed for another 30 minutes. Grr. Of course, we went to JR's for a drink *giggle*. The usual suspects were all there - Peter/Mitch, Gary/Kirk, Chad, etc. I had TWO dozen Kumomotos at Hank's all to myself. Which is enough to shit a coral the next day. I think I've had my fill of oysters for awhile (like maybe a week). I ate $50 worth of oysters in one sitting, fetch!

After Hank's, we went back to JR's. By now, Rick and Corey (aka LCD) had shown up. We didn't stay very long coz Jason and I were both running on fumes, so Tony took us home. We crashed for like an hour before heading back to JR's. The same ppl were still there, der. Bartender Matt saw us and were like "did you two sleep here last night?". LOL! Not funny. I spent quite a bit of the night bouncing back and forth between Rick/Jason/Tony/Corey and the Mean Girls who were parked at the bottom of the stairs.

So, I've never quite felt short in my life. I wasn't the tallest boy in my class but I certainly wasn't the shortest. And in Asia? I'm definitely considered above average. Well, I've never felt so short in my life until I stood *under* ChrisFT, Taylor and Bernie - who all grew up on potatoes coz rice will not make you that tall! - at the bar and looked up at them all night like I was Jack staring up a beanstalk, or Pippin talking to the Ents. I had a neck ache the next day. So I talked to same-height-as-me Brian instead *giggle*. Bitches were all drunk! Hot.

Evan showed up and the party headed to Cobalt at close to midnight. By then we were all so drunk we couldn't even stand up, much less dance. When Corey decided he was gonna do a Kiat-last-Friday, the night was officially over. I think we stumbled home at 2. I don't remember how, I don't remember if we got Alberto's (we probably did), and I don't remember where Tony was.

Sunday was pretty tame in comparison. Tony and I went shopping. Actually, we went buying coz we came home with Costco crap, shoes... and a new 32" LCD-HDTV for the guest bedroom! What, it was cheap. And interest-free for 48 months! Hot. Now all we need is a plasma for the living room and we're all set.

It must've been 5pm coz Jason and I found ourselves at $2-all-day JR's with Rick (I know, THREE nights in a row! aka the "Fetch Three-peat Weekend"). Rob/Mikko (who looked very sleepy) were also there. Alan showed up. Then the Axis of Evil (MichaelG, Adam & Patrick), plus MichaelG's Jason (OK, we're gonna have to come up with a better nomenclature for him) and Leo, poured in and JR's is now officially *packed*.

The weekend's drunk-a-thon came to an official close when Rick/Jason left to go to GB, and I went home. And that's how I survived my first weekend with Jason living under the same roof.

Picking up the pieces is so much easier when there's vodka involved :-) @ 22:56

[swedish fun] I just got back from Ikea where I overheard a woman holding up a kitchen utensil (I wouldn't know which since I don't go into the kitchen) saying these words to her husband:

"Hun, why are we buying this here? Let's go to Wal-Mart and get a good one."

Music to white trash ears.

Oooh, and look what I found at Ikea today in the garden section? Sex toys, *GASP*! @ 22:45

["omb, i broke jake!"] I'll try to keep this brief. Lots of nothing happened over the weekend so why not blab about it.

My weekend was one big drunkfest. Determined not to repeat the Friday before (aka "Death by Jaeger"), Rick/Jose, Jason and I started drinking at noon. Yup, you read that right. Well, Rick and Jason did since they both had the day off. Jose and I were good, for once. The Fetch Lunch was at IndeBleu. Scorchingly expensive for lunch, I must say. I looked around and remarked that we were surrounded by "Ladies Who Lunch", before realizing that, well, we were too!

They sat us in a booth with, I swear to Beyonce, gloryholes on one side and a stripper pole on the other (pictures will follow). I think they purposely put us there to contain our decibels. Not to mention we were the most indecisive bunch of lunch diners ever (the menu might as well have been written in Hindi and French). And lewd! OMB. Our waiter, who was totally not that hot, had an accent. Jose gets weak for accents. He said Ozzie, I said Irish... waiter finally opens his mouth again, and I looked at Jason and said "oh, der he's British" while the dude is still standing right there. Jose about snorted his iced tea.

The lunch conversation went way downhill from there. I can't write about, oh, 99% of it but let's just say the headline stories would've been titled:

"OMB, I broke Jake!" aka "I wish I knew how to quit you... two!"

"The Emancipation of Mimi"; Mimi apparently is the new and not-so-affectionate name for my ass

and "Frodo Faggins" aka "One Cockring to Rule Them All"

Can you believe I actually went back to work for 3+ hours after that?

I rejoined the vodka-cavalry at Gordon Biersch at around 5pm. We had one drink and decided that there was WAY too much testosterone in there (Mason March Madness game, hello) so we high-tailed it to Zaytinya where the environs were far more fetch. Plus they had fierce Cosmos and killer Pom-filis (some pomegranate cocktail thingie that tastes like V8) and we could not *possibly* pass the time waiting for Jose to Metro down from Shitty Grove without fetch-tinis. The crowd was also far prettier and more sophisticated. We had some killer tapas before heading back to GB. I destroyed some chicken wings at GB. And then we went to JR's. Bartender Matt gives me that "I'm gonna keep a count of your drinks tonight" sneer. Don't even remember who we saw there. But we were running on low so Jason and I went back to the house.

Passed out and snoring on the couch watching Kill Bill 2 was the next scene. When the movie ended at midnight, I quickly got changed and before I could say "wake up, bitch!", Jason jumps up and takes off faster than his pants. We were on our way to Apex! We definitely got our second wind and had a crazy good time. The music was awesome - they played both Madonna's Hung Up and Sorry. But I'm officially over that fat, ugly, rude and stank bartender in the video bar. I remember dancing with Adam, MichaelG and his friend Jason. We had quite a crazy, drunken, ass-shakin' good time.

But the fetchest part of the evening was when we got it on with a troupe of fierce Bachelorette party chicks from Jersey! They were totally insanely hot... and they loved us! We were sucking on all their body parts like leaches :-o (yes, there is picture proof). I think I passed out at 3:30? *shrug*

Yup, it was only Friday night! @ 17:32

[can i tell you?] Sometimes, a little perspective is in order. Can I tell you how lucky I am to have someone who loves me unconditionally? No matter what, come what may? He puts up with all my bullshit and is still there for me whether I want him to be or not. He never lets me fall, or if I did, he'd cushion me when I hit rock bottom.

And most of all, he has made it clear to me that I would never have to wonder or doubt his love for me. Sometimes I don't think I deserve all this, especially considering how much crap (i.e. hurt) I've put him through, not to mention all that future crap. But other times, I can't help but realize that I am so very, very lucky to have someone who loves me more than I can imagine. More than I ever asked for. If nothing else, that will help me get through this.

Can I tell you how lucky I am to have someone who will never, ever let go? @ 14:03

["so together...] ...but so broken up inside" pretty much sums up how I feel right now. I shall be writing less frequently for a little bit. It takes a lot to smile and be funny these days, so I won't bore you or drag you down with my unfunny online ramblings. And some of you probably didn't think I was very funny to begin with :-p

I won't elaborate, but let's just say it's emotional trauma. I've been such an over-achiever in life and have had it so easy, that I never thought I would fail in one of the most important aspects of my life. Deliberately vague, huh? You mean you just figured out that I don't put all my thoughts in bytes? Gurrrrrl, a gaysian's heart is an ocean of secrets :-)

Some of you already know what I'm talking about, and are standing beside me. I will be forever grateful. For the rest of you, well, I'm not one to hide and cower in the face of adversity so you will still see me out and about, putting on my brave diva face. Just know that those exterior walls are built on quicksand and M.A.C is great at concealing tears, and I'm nowhere near as strong as you think I am or I believe myself to be. All it takes is two shots of Jaeger *sneers at Rick and Jason*...

I shall pick up the pieces and move on. I will prevail. It just takes time. Be patient with me. @ 13:47

[metro turns 30] Well, this occurred without much fanfare yesterday - Metro turned 30! You'd think it would be a big occasion but there was nary a peep from the WaPo about it. The preoccupation these days is with expansion - the Dulles extension, tunneling thru Tysons, MetroWest @ Vienna, etc.

30 years ago, Metro opened the Red Line from RI Ave to Farragut North, carrying 19,913 passengers on its first revenue day (at $0.55/journey). Today, Metro carries 700,000 passengers on weekdays across 106.1 miles of track, 86 stations and 5 rail lines. Our baby's all grown up!

OMB, I just realized I'm almost as old as Metro :-o Well, younger by 14 months. And I dare say I've aged far better. At least no one's complaining that I am unreliable, provide bad service, or am late all the time. No, my tunnels are not leaking and they're not overcrowded either, but thanks for your concern ;-) @ 13:01

March 24, 2006

[metro, tourists, drunk] No, there weren't drunk tourists on the Metro today. Although, I'm pretty sure there'll be masses of them this weekend, the first weekend of the 94th National Cherry Blossom Festival.

I met the tallest guy on the Metro ride this morning. Dude was so tall he had to duck to get out of the train :-o He was seated across from me on the Orange but I didn't really pay attention until he stood up to get off at the same stop I was. I barely measured up to his shoulder blades. I felt really, really short and little. Short enough, in fact, to blow him standing up. This guy was HUGE.

Of course, I'm thinking "big guy, big, um, tool", right? So I checked out his shoes. Let's just say I could've put both my feet in one of his shoes. Every step he took was two of mine. I bet if he had whipped his tool out like the other guy ChrisFT encountered on the Metro, it would've touched the floor. Jason would've purred (yes, he was black), and I would've snapped a picture with my camera phone. What? I'm Asian :-p

I encounter tourists on my walk to work every morning in SW. There's a Residence Inn down there and they walk up my street (yes, mine, dammit!) to get to the Mall a few blocks away. There were just one too many of them today. They're easy to spot coz they walk like they own the sidewalk - the *entire* sidewalk. And they take pictures of damn near EVERYthing. The Metro pylons, for instance. I can understand if you want to take a picture *of* the pylon for your scrapbook or what not, but why would anyone take a picture *with* the pylon??

Unless you're from bumfuck, PA and you've never seen a subway sign in your entire life. In that case, please return to where you came from, thank you.

Hmm, who am I to talk. My first subway ride ever was when I was 14. I know, how provincial.

Drunk. Yes. Last night. Happy Hour at JR's. Actually, more like Happy Five Hours. So embarassing, coz bartender Matt kept asking me all night (with a big smile) "are you OK? do you need to throw up?". Aww, I wanted to claw his eyes out. I hereby decree that 3/17/06 will now be known as The Night That Shall Not Be Relived. Or St. Tragic Day.

At least Matt didn't stop serving me, although he kept asking, "are you sure you want another one?". I wanted to go for the jugular. I was loopy by my fifth one though. Rick, Jose and I went to Le Pigalle (formerly Peppers) in between for dinner and champagne. And then I met Jason on his walk home from work (yea, bitch works shifts, stank). We snacked on Alberto's, der.

No pictures. I wasn't feeling pretty last night. Roll call: M2, Evan, Leo, Gary/Kirk, Peter/Mitch (Pitch?), Rick/Jose, Chad!!! (*wink*), Mean Girls, etc.

OMB! I almost forgot. Guess who I saw last night? The Return of Phillip! Rar!

I'm so happy it's Friday. It's also Jason's first weekend at the house. I foresee a calamity brewing *giggle* @ 10:53

March 22, 2006

[dryer balls] I have *really* sensitive skin. I never really had issues with it until I went on vacation to Australia (back when I was 15), and then lived in the UK for two years. It loooooves the humidity - so I never have issues with it in Malaysia - but I myself don't. It itches in winter coz of the dryness. It breaks out when I apply scented anything (moisturizer, body lotion, body shampoo, soap, etc.). And when it breaks out, I scratch a hole in my skin coz, as you all know, I have no self-control whatsoever. And yes, I have seen every dermatologist in NW. Including the most recent one who decided that a mole around the booster mark on my shoulder "may" be malignant and in order to do a biopsy, he carved a hole in my shoulder the size of Jason's well-fu... well, you get my drift ;-)

In a gist, my skin is just really really annoying. So I end up with non-scented, fragrant-free, hypoallergenic, tested-on-organic-plants, won't-hurt-a-fly-much-less-the-human-body stuff which always costs more than Body Shop or Bath & Body Works. Combined.

That bit of high-maintenance skincare tidbit aside (to go with almost every other aspect in my life safe for booze... cheap vodka, fetch!), I also cannot come in contact with clothing that has gone through fabric softeners. They're like the best inventions since detergent but alas, my skin doesn't like it.

So we use Dryer Balls instead. Check this out:

"Dryer Balls soften fabrics naturally. The Dryer Balls lift and separate the clothes, the air circulates more efficiently & properly throughout the dryer, and it dries your clothes faster, reducing drying time. You will save around 10 min. to 1/2 hour on each load of laundry! That’s a lot of electricity and money you will save in one years time! Dryer Balls are non-toxic and allergy free - the safe, cost-effective alternative to fabric softeners."

Fetch. It's pretty cool coz your dryer sounds like it's playing bongos when them Dryer Balls are bouncing around being tumble-dried along with your clothes, not to mention your dryer trembles violently enough to be considered a seismic event. It's quite unnerving but hey, whatever makes my skin happy.

So Jason, like all new roomies, is on a journey of appliance discovery at our place. He texts me today:

"Oh, why do you have 2 benwah balls in the dryer?"

ROTFL! Ahem, if I had ben wa balls that were blue and spikey, I don't think I'd ever leave the house.

FYI. @ 16:25

March 21, 2006

[weekend pics] I had to cull from a whole collection blurry pics, but here they are... and since the theme of the night was "All SeaBiscuit, All the time", we're starting off with, yup you guessed it, SB!

Jason & SB: SeaBiscuit! *geisha blush*
Jason & SB: I'm telling ya, he's barely black! They're almost the same color.
Jason & SB: Awwww, it's so sweet I'm getting a toothache
"Say ahhhh": Practising for taking bigger things in her mouth later that evening! :-o
Rick & Jose: What is with the inter-racial couples??
Axis of Evil: LOL!!! Just kidding :-)
Fiona & Shrek: ROTFL!!! Oh Princess Fi-ohhhhh-na...
Fiona: Aren't we all just pretty in green?
The Fetch Bunch: Rick+1, Jason+1, and lonely ol' me
The Fetch Bunch: Jose tastes like chorizo. Check out all our green beads!
Upside down: See how much clearer the daytime pics are?
Guatemala: Driving thru Adams Morgan aka Guatemala
Hangover Pizza: The Hangover Pizza at Gordon Biersch... yes, I ate the whole f-ing thing *burp*

Jason moved in last night and promptly crashed for 12 hours. Bitch needed the rest. He's on his way home now. He's got a 4-day weekend beginning Friday. I feel trouble brewing beginning Thursday night... ;-) @ 22:25

March 20, 2006

['w' is for wrong] You all already know how I feel about the Iraq War. And I neither have the time nor the energy to cuss out the Bush-Blair-Berlusconi Axis of Evil. So, on the third anniversary of the Iraq War, here's a little excerpt from Newsday:

"Three years ago today, President George W. Bush told the American people that the war with Iraq had begun, in order to 'disarm Iraq, to free its people and to defend the world from grave danger.'..."

"Today it is clear that there were no weapons of mass destruction, and independent investigators found that there was no credible evidence to support the allegation in other speeches that Saddam Hussein was plotting with terrorist groups such as al-Qaida. Terrorism experts say that under the occupation Iraq has become a training ground for terrorists, and the results are beginning to show up in countries like Jordan and Afghanistan."

Headlines range from rhetorical questions like "Was it worth it?", to despondent ones like "Three years on, Iraq's future is shrouded in fear", and from heartbreaking ones like "Three years on, no end to the tragedy", to downright scary ones like "Civil war looms".

The Iraq War has already cost the US Treasury about $250bn to date or about $10mn/hour since March 20, 2003. $250bn is about $80bn/year on a war of choice, of Bush's choice. Do you know how much the government will spend on education *total* in 2006 for all of America's schoolchildren? $56bn. There are over 70mn children in the United States. That's almost three times the entire population of Iraq.

Do you know how many New Orleans's we could've rebuilt with $250bn?

Total war costs since 9/11 are now approaching $400bn. And combine that with the two massive and irresponsible tax cuts that Bush pushed through Congress, the national debt is now approaching $9 trillion, or $30,000 for every man, woman and child in the United States. The national debt ceiling has been raised by more than $3tn since Bush took office - $450bn in 2002, $984bn in 2003, $800bn in 2004, and $781bn just last week. Deficits are set to top $350bn for this year and next. When will the debt ceiling be raised to $10tn?

'W'rong on the Nation's Security. 'W'rong on the Nation's Finances. 'W'rong for America's Future. Just dead 'W'rong. @ 14:40

[monday musings] I'm learning more and more from "The Night I Don't Remember". Apparently, I received 5 text messages from random ppl and I don't remember receiving them, reading them, or - better yet - replying to them! Three of them apparently came from Ben (I was told last night at dinner) describing the scene of me (aka hot mess at JR's) riding SeaBiscuit (yet again!), and using my camera like a Japanese who's just bought her first digital camera. Hot.

I seriously do not remember Ben and Mike being there that night, LOL!

OK, this is THE most priceless news in recent memory. Jason, bless his heart, is getting evicted today... :-o Yea, I know, right? She apparently was in Torino and did not bother to check his voice messages, his stack of unanswered mail... or renew his lease!!! OMB. Bitch has until 5pm today to move out of his apartment. At this very moment, she is getting all lessie and driving a U-Haul packed with all his furniture to a storage facility.

Here's a little tidbit for y'all today. Background: Jason, Gay-wee and a bunch of 'em helped Peter move to his Dupont condo recently. While moving Peter's mattress, Jason screams, "I think I'm gonna need a Hazmat suit for this!".

Kiat:: I guess you learnt the lesson from Peter's move. Move your bed yourself! Giggle.
Jason:: Haha! der! i am half tempted to burn my mattress in the back alley like it has Mad Cow!
Kiat:: More like Mad SeaBiscuit ;-)
Jason:: Lol! i am suprirsed I have a mattress!

And yes, bitch is moving in with me. Exactly one week after my younger brother moved out. Just when we thought we were gonna have some peace and quiet in the house, LOL! We've always joked about, "can you imagine if we lived together?". Who would've though... I can already see us planning all-night drinking parties and turning our place into a frathouse. Fetch.

Can you believe I have to come home to his smiling face after work tonight? Looooord have mercy. @ 12:57

March 18, 2006

[lunchtime tryst] NC-17 It's amazing how much I remembered from last night considering how obliterated I was. Well, I can tell you it was helped greatly by my three-way mobile phone conversation with Jason and Rick this morning. Yup, they both called at about the same time and I conferenced them all in! I also just found out I have a "call recording" feature on my phone and they suggested I should post the wav file on here! Haha.. I don't think so.

Rick thinks I should change my voicemail to say "for blogging purposes, your call may be recorded". Giggle.

I texted Jason first and asked her who's cooking breakfast this morning, to which she replied: "well, does a second helping of sausage at 5am count?". Tee-hee. Bitch was COO-ing by the time she called me. Moments later, Rick called. And it was gay-jà vu all over again. Our conversation was so hungover, it took all three of us to put one thought together. We had lost so many brain cells collectively the night before, the three of us made up one brain cell. It's amazing how we even remembered anything, much less planned to meet up for lunch!

We picked Jason up first, and bitch was running to the car with butt cheeks clenched. Let's just say it takes a lot of clenching to hold beer and cum in :-o OK, this post has officially gone NC-17.. See? Now you know why I put the disclaimers. Shocking, I tell you, Shocking!

But yea, she looked like she had a tripod rammed up her you know what the night before and she was cumming through her nostrils. She needed Depends! According to her, it was "blindingly good" i.e. she was fucked blind, LOL! No surprises there coz this was her first time in 6 months! And the last guy was SB!! OMB. I can't believe I'm typing all this out. But it's definitely been a "dry saga" for him (SIX months, can you believe it?) and the "breaking of the seal" had to be blogged, I'm sure you agree. It's momentous!

She was cooing so much from the night before (again, SIX months!), I thought she was either going to (a) sit on a fire hydrant, or (b) suck up all the manhole covers.

We get to Adams Morgan and after walking through Guatemala, we discovered a long line at The Diner. Not fetch, and was too hungry. So we decided to go to Gordon Biersch where Jose buys us all a fabulous lunch (love her). It took us an hour and a half to meander through Adams Morgan and then down to Chinatown and then finding parking! Grrrrr. I had a hole the size of Pluto in my stomach, but that didn't compare to the size of Jason's hole. It was like Saturn, with black and blue rings all around from SB's smacking.

I ate all of Idaho's potatoes worth of fries to soak up all the alcohol in my stomach. I think I ate ten supermodels' worth of food, I swear. It was insane. I was so hungry and so hungover. I even ordered the hangover pizza! I have pictures somewhere. They will be shown.

If you had sat at a nearby table overhearing our conversation reliving the night before, you would've blushed like a little schoolgirl. Actually, the FCC would've fined us. @ 18:34

[all about sb] "I got a free ticket to riiiiide!" was the first thing I ever said to him. We were at Hush @ Chloe. Of course, none of us remember meeting him that night coz we were completely shattered. So much so that when Rick and I saw SB last night, we looked at Jason and went: "I thought you said he was black?". SB is the whitest black guy on the planet *giggle*. So yea... after last night, I have learnt a little bit more about him. Let us count the ways:

1. SeaBiscuit is funny, laid-back, friendly... and HOT. I would gladly pay for that ride *twitch*, OMB. I swear, if he was any hotter last night, I would've made like Crouching Tiger, Hidden DragQueen and climbed on him like bamboo.

2. SB looks like Fenty's twin. He could definitely go as Fenty at Halloween by just wearing a suit and a "Fenty for Mayor" button. SB also declares he is 1/16th Irish. Rick thought he said 16 inches. I brought up my entire right arm, looked at it, and went "wow". Speaking of Fenty, Rick recounts his story at Pride when he got like 42 pounds of beads around his neck, and fetch Fiona immediately says: "more like 42 pounds of benwa balls". Giggle, love her! I looked at Rick and said: "um, that's from your second chin". I'm a mean girl :-)

3. EVERYone wanted to ride SB. I bought him his 2nd drink and declared: "One ride per drink!". As the night wore on, I kept slurring: "I have a flee ticket to liiiiide". Yes, you can take the boy out of Asia but you can't take the Asian out of the boy ;-) Gay-wee, who wasn't wearing green, pleaded for SB to pinch him, LOL. Seems like Rick is the only one who hasn't ridden SB. All's I can say is SB might be strong and muscular, but he ain't that strong! *evil giggle*

4. SB took off his sweater to show off his green T and let's just say everything at the bar stopped for a brief moment in awe when he did. I think maybe the Earth stopped spinning for a sec (the room didn't stop spinning for me). Jason and Rick about pre-came. I probably shot across the room onto the brick wall (we were standing at the bar). Gay-wee and Kirk about swallowed their cigarettes.

5. SB, the sweet and nice guy that he is, smothered Jason *all* night. At one point, they were so glued together I thought Jason was asphyxiating. But then I realized that Jason was just turning blue trying to hold the cum in... :-o Did I just type that??

6. I think Jason is close to getting a fitting from Vera Wang after last night, LOL!

We're rooting for Jason! @ 17:54

[mission accomplished] I don't even know where to begin. I had a mission last night and it was to get shit-faced. Let's just say: Mission Accomplished... before midnight even!

I got so shit-faced last night, I threw up on four different occasions. Uh-huh, not pretty. My hangover this morning was epic. I was so dehydrated, even 2 Advils barely helped. Food did, but that's a whole other posting in itself. And I haven't peed in almost 24 hours, LOL! But yea, today is obviously a waste for me. And that's the only reason why I'm writing coz I don't have the energy to do anything else besides sit on my couch. My brains are so fried.

I definitely pulled out the Irish in me last night, and my besties and I turned JR's into an Irish pub. I'm not even that big into St Patrick's but for some reason, we all put on our finest green and pounded green bottles of Heineken and green vodka all night. What's that green vodka thing you say? Well, it's what you think you are drinking when you've had so many drinks you've turned color blind.

It all started at 6pm (!) when Chris called me up for happy hour at JR's. Did you know they did 2-for-1 on Fridays? Meeeee neither. So, of course, I had to have two drinks. Sans food. Empty tummy. Not a good idea. I stumbled home at around 7 and had dinner with Tony before heading back out to JR's at 8 to start out the evening's festivities. Round two!

I met up with Jason and SeaBiscuit (I think his name is Chris.. but does it matter? *giggle*) and immediately pinched them both. I couldn't really tell that Jason had some green on his shirt (bitch, it's dark in there mmm-kay?) so he deserved the pinch, but I didn't care what SB was wearing coz I was pinching him regardless! Mmm, mmm, mmm. I know, me wanting to pinch a black man... What has the world come to.

Moments later, the fetch trinity is reunited. Rick arrived with Jose and we are now a 5-some. How bizarre, it used to be me and Tony, and Rick and Jason were single. Last night, they were both plus one and I was by myself! Giggle. I know, no Tony i.e. no designated photographer ergo the pictures all came out blurry coz all of us that took turn taking pictures were drunk and shakey! So it was just Jason with his black man, Rick and his hispanic man, and Asian ol' me. Benetton should have paid our bar tab in lieu of an appearance fee. So should the UN. And Bono.

Aaaaanywho, Kirk and Gary were there as well. SB's friend, Fiona (who is a fetch lessie, btw), was also there. She declares that JR's was like her living room (see? love her already) and I, of course, had to correct her coz JR's was more like her manger! She owned that place. Fierce. There's also a benwa balls story but that's in the next post.

The rest of the evening was a blur. I remember Heineken Light Boy handing out free samples (and giving us green beads) and he was HOT. Not to mention a beautiful Heiney. BTW, I still prefer Amstel Light. I think I licked both Jose's and Jason's face last night. One tasted like chorizo, and the other tasted like watermelon. I remember seeing Adam and Patrick, sans Michelle who was at a Symphony... I know, doing what? Valeting? *giggle* The night got blurrier coz I somewhat but just barely remember seeing Chris/Dave and Alex. And the night became a complete blackout when I was told that ChrisFT/Chuck were there, and so were Ben/Mike/Scott.

I think the Jaeger shot did me in... or shots as I am now told, since Rick poured his into mine!! Bitch thought he was doing me a favor. Don't you love my friends? The next thing I know, I was just outside the side door of JR's, throwing up my dinner contents (shrimp and rice, what a lovely combo) into a large trash can. Rick/Jose were so sweet coz they immediately grabbed me, shoved me in a cab and took me home. The cab was careening down my street when I slurred: "I need to get out now!". As soon as the cab door opened, I threw up onto a manhole cover across the street from my house. And then, I threw up again on my neighbor's rosemary bush. Well, it was more like a dry heave since I had nothing else to regurgitate at that point.

And finally, I prayed to the porcelain Buddha for like 30 minutes at the end of the night. I passed out at about midnight. And yes, I did ask for it. Just don't ask why :-)

St Patrick has officially become my new favorite Saint. Giggle! @ 17:14

March 17, 2006

[i want...] A new car, that is. Don't get me wrong, I *love* my existing wheels. I love that it's a convertible. I love the color (blue!). And I love that it's a Bimmer ;-)

But... I'm lusting after the new BMW 3-series (E90) convertible that's coming out at the end of this year or some time next year. The new 3-series is totally hot. But get this, the new convertible is gonna have a convertible hard top! *squeals, wets self, and faints* That's like my biggest complaint of the car I have right now - the soft top. Who wants a *soft* top?? I want a hard top! OK, that was a double entendre ;-)

Problem is... the new convertible is probably going to be like $40k+ (and that's for the 325Ci). My car will probably only sell for $18k or less, grrrrr. Well, it is 8 years old now but seriously, cars are such a bad investment. That, plus the fact that I don't even drive to work anymore, and we only use the convertible when the weather is warm (otherwise we just stick to Tony's Audi), which means that buying a brand new car is like a huge waste of money.

But I want...

Have I mentioned I'm turning 30 next year? Me thinks a big birthday present is in order... *hint* Yeaaa, a new convertible would be the perfect cure to my midlife crisis @ 13:16

March 16, 2006

[random pics] From this week...

Tony & My bro: I was gonna photoshop the "TED" sign to say "TONY", but it was just too much work
Brothers: At Dulles Airport, moments b4 his departure
Buhbye: Yes, he's finally leaving!
Tony & Noi: At the Whitman-Walker "Going the Extra Mile" function at the Canadian Embassy
Noi: Isn't she fierce? Love her. And she's sooooo generous!
Moon & Dome: Great picture of the moon and the Capitol dome at night
Rob & Chris: At El Paraiso restaurant... don't we look trashed? :-)
Kevin: This one's from tonight, after "Boston Marriage" at the Source Theatre @ 23:38

[almost here] We are 4 days away from the vernal equinox, which marks the astronomical spring. We are just about two weekends away from "springing forward", when daylight will be extended till 7:32pm on Apr 2nd and peak at 8:37pm in late June. The cherry blossoms are about to peak anytime between this weekend and next. Officially, the peak bloom forecast is for next weekend but the good thing about cherry blossoms is they don't listen to "officials". Coz - just like Naomi's big ol' pregnant belly - they look like they're getting ready to explode out of their buds any minute now!

The equinox, longer days, and cherry blossoms. Surefire signs of... SPRING!!! Wow! It's here! Springtime in DC!

But until then, winter is making a comeback this weekend and into next week. Grrr. It may snow tomorrow (ugh), and the rest of the weekend looks downright frigid - highs in the 40s (what?), and lows in the 20s!! (WTF??) It was 85° on Monday, and now it's gonna snow tomorrow?? Not fetch.

I was gone so much this winter, I almost didn't experience it this year. I count that as a blessing. Snowstorms? Really? When? What cold? OK, the walks to and from work were balls cold. But yea, Jan and Feb flew by oh so quickly.

Winter, we never knew thee... And we definitely won't miss thee! @ 15:28

[jaded] Last night, we were at the Canadian Embassy and we were inches away from Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) getting an award. I say that with the utmost jadedness, coz I wasn't in the least bit excited or interested. I know, I'm tiring of all these "politicians at charity events" thingie. I think I'm just getting sick of Congress. Everything they do, I find objectionable these days. They can all rot.

Oh, um... where were we :) Ahh yes, the Canadian Embassy. It was fun though. It was a Whitman-Walker event - something about AIDS - so I wore a dark shade of pink with striped black pants and a black suede jacket. Oh, and a Burberry scarf. I looked hot, haha :-) (pictures to come). They put us in the gymnasium... Again. Fine. It did have a view of the lit up Capitol dome. The food was better than what I remembered. And the parting gift was a gift bag from Go Mama Go! Fetch. Noi was there. She's always fierce. Love her. The speeches were mercifully short, but the alcohol and the food kept flowing. It wasn't too bad. I just wasn't that into it. It was a good excuse to get dressed up though :-) And the 5 glasses of white wine helped :-o

After the festivities, we went to El Paraiso (?).. some El Salvadorian place. It was Chris/Dave, Rob/Mikko, Simon and myself. I had a liquid dinner. Two blindingly strong glasses of Cosmo later... I know, right? Seven drinks on a weeknight! I'm gonna have to get on the liver donor registry soon.

For some reason, we talked quite a bit about "Jake" last night. No, not the actor. The long, double-headed, cylindrical, purple Jake. He's not exactly squishy, but not plastic hard either. He's kinda squeezable, but still maintains its shape unlike a sponge. What? I've tried a banana once. Didn't work too well. I smashed it.. like the banana bits were squeezed out of the skin. Yes, very eww.

I can't help it if I'm tight.

What? Don't give me that look. Everyone has one.

OK, um... I cannot believe I just typed all that.

*makes like an ostrich and buries my head in the ground* @ 14:57

[i'm bored] Work is soul-sucking and mind-numbing. But tomorrow is St Patty's Day! Fetch. We have grand plans to be Irish for one night and paint the town green. Can you imagine an Irish-Asian? An Irasian? *giggle* I'd have to be pasty white and dye my hair orange... or green! And if we do hit a bar in SE, we will be dressing Jason up in greenbacks for the occasion. I don't know if I can handle another strip-a-thon weekend!

Speaking of SE... last Friday was insane! I still haven't talked about it much but I remember the first crazy thing of the evening - the realization that calling each other "Mary" was not going to work that night. Coz there was a real Mary with real boobies from MARYland. I saw Jason as I was coming down the stairs after showering, so I screamed "Mary!!". The real Mary stuck her arms out thinking I was gonna hug her.. but I hugged Jason instead, LOL! The pout on Mary's face was priceless. Poor baby didn't know that she was only one of four Mary's present that night.

Yea.. I rounded up my four besties in DC (Nicole, Chris, Rick and Jason in the order I met them), plus a few others Jose (Rick's wetb.. ohh, um.. *demure*), Gay-wee (why is he always minus Kirk??), Evan (+ some dude he used to bang in high school? *shrug*), etc. There were like 12 of us. Right there, you had all the ingredients for a toxic evening of dripping fun and wild shenanigans.

And so the MARY-land invasion began. And it was a fierce one. We liquored everyone up nicely with tarty Cosmos (yea Jose, if you complain about it, you can make it for me next time!) before heading down to Secrets/Ziegfeld's first. Nicole had already been, but Mary and Allison had this deer-in-the-headlights, kid-in-the-candy-store look on their faces as soon as they walked in. And their jaws were barely skirting the ground. Drooling. You've never seen two happier girls in your life. They pranced off to spend their 1s on the strippers and the drag queens. They all had a permanent smile tattooed on their faces like virgins getting it for the first time. It was the cutest thing to witness.

And since it was one of the final weekends Secrets was gonna be open (and it seems like every weekend since last year has been "the final weekend"), the place was packed! No doubt the next few weekends are going to be kwazy down there. Baseball is coming and dick is going. Sigh. So it was perfect timing then that these girls came down for one final hurrah before these wonderfully seedy places disappear off the DC nightlife.

Things got out of hand at Wet after. By out of hand, I mean 1s were flying out of their hands! I still can't believe Mary spent $187 for four hours of dick, LOL! They spent so much money at Wet, the bouncers didn't stop us from taking pictures. But everything else that night is a blur, up to and including Evan kanoodling with a stripper, and Jason getting all the attention from the token black stripper. Not to mention the Maryland chicks were deliriously entertained by the dick-tacular show. Well, you've seen the pictures so there's no point writing about it.

We all got so massively wasted that I had to take the girls home just before closing time. We left everyone at the bar and cabbed it back where we sobered up with water and mini-quiches. Nicole, Mary and Allison kept gushing on and on about how this was one of their best nights out ever.. those poor babies. They need more gay men in their lives coz we know how to party and live it up!

I get a call from Jason at like 3am and bitch is like "I'm lost!!!". I convinced Tony that we needed to drive down to SE to go get him before he got raped (well, raped is an inappropriate verb.. coz bitch is willing) by some thug (I bet that just made him leak). And so we did. Midway down there, Chris calls and was like "where arrrrre youuuuu??" LOL! I love my drunk bitches. And moments later, Jason calls and says "Ohh! I'm not lost anymore". I was like "Huh?", and he was like "I'm at the underground playground!! I'm stayinnnnn'". OK, fine.

I get a text message at 7:30am from Jason: "Mary! I just left the playground. Why is it so bright outside?". And another one an hour later: "OMB, I fell asleep on the Metro and I'm now in Greenbelt!". Haha.. I was like, "Oh you mean that's not where you were heading? It *is* PG County".

Jason + Green Line = Fodder for an unlimited number of jokes.

First of all, I cannot believe Jason stayed long enough at the underground playground, Metro re-opened. And second of all, Mary... do you even have a gag reflex anymore? ;-) *muah*!

(If I end all my zingers with *muah*, does it become less of an affront? Hahaha *muah*!) @ 14:36

March 15, 2006

[asian eyes] Jason mounts a vigorous defense to his "Eyes Wide Shut" poses (i.e. me thinks he doth protest too much):

Oh, by the way, my eyes are not closed in the pics. I am trying my new Asian look. Giggle!

All's I can say is: "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". It's about time you copy our look! We've been copying your bags for years. *muah* @ 10:49

[i feel a sequel comin'] This e-mail message pretty much summed up Friday night for the girls (the real ones):

Subject:: I miss ya and want to play and see dicks again SOOOON!

Hey Kiat! :)

Wanted to tell you what a FABULOUS time we had with all of you guys--u always manage to make me laugh out loud and your friends are ADORABLE!! Can't wait to see the pix and, more importantly, PLAY w/ya again!!!

Love ya and miss ya and we want to PLAY again REEEEAAAAAAAAAALLLLL SOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!

You da bomb, baby, and I only wish you weren't gay, cuz I'd be fightin' for ya!

Love ya!
Mary
(The REAL Mary from Mary-Land)

Bitch says "MARYland" like she owns it. I love her, *muah*.

So... Who's up for Part Deux: The Marys Strike Back? ;-) @ 10:33

March 14, 2006

[pics from friday] OK, OK. I didn't have time to write shit today, so I'm just gonna put up the pics and end your torment ;-)

Prelude to Filthiness
Show Me The Money!: Count that... $187 worth of 1s!!! *faints*
Limoncello: Chugging limoncello *gasp*
Mary & Jason: Sitting in a taxi, K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Underground Playground: Jason and Mary posing in front of the adult entertainment, um err, "dungeon"

Orgies
My besties!: 4 of my favorite people in DC! From bottom going clockwise - Rick, Nicole, Chris and Jason
My besties!: Jason looks like he's enjoying boobs *way* too much
Secret Group: Tony, Nicole, Jose and Chris @ Secrets!
My besties!: I love this picture! "I've got all my besties with me... @ Wet!"
Wet Group: The whole lot at Wet. After this pic, the bouncer told us "no more pics!" Haha.
Rick's Harem: The chicks dig Rick!
LOL!!!: This one definitely qualifies as a LOL.

Threesomes
Not-so-Hidden Drag Queen: Nicole is definitely... butcher!
Lovely Ladies: Nicole, Mary and Allison - Fierce, Fetch and Fabulous!
SAIC reunion!: Chris, Nicole and I used to work for the same company!
SAIC reunion!: Thank God we've all left since
Tongue: Ohmy... I bet Tony's tongue is longer (actually, I *know*)

Twosies
I *heart* Chris: Living across the street from each other = Mega fun weekends!
I *heart* Rick: Rick's my fetch drinking buddy. Him + Me = JR's - Vodka.
Rick & Nicole: They found each other awhile back
Jason & Nicole: I think Nicole found another
Jason & Nicole: Jason's eyes are always closed in pictures when he's drunk. Yes, his eyes are closed in ALL the pictures.
Jason & Tony: See what I mean?
Lovebirds: Aww, aren't they cute together?
Fierce Chicks: Mary (with beer AND cig!) and Allison. Anheuser Busch and Phillip Morris are so proud.
Mary & Allison: Hunting for a (stripper) prey
Tongue: Jason trying to lick Tony
Tony!: Good God, why am I kissing someone in every picture??

Naughty Jason
"Do you take credit?": Jason ran out of 1s!!
Stripper: I shouldn't put this picture up... but I just had to ;-)

OK, OK... sorry that took SOOOO long. But what did I tell ya... it's worth the wait! ;-) @ 22:49

[omnigoogle] Google has two goals in life: Conquering the Universe, and destroying Microsoft. The latter is already in motion. The former? Well, check these out: Google Mars and Google Moon (not to mention Google Earth)

What's next? Google Universe? Now, That would be quite cool... @ 14:22[nationals stadium] So this is what's going to go on top of Secrets/Ziegfeld's. Like, literally, the baseball field itself is gonna sit on top of that seedy trip of "adult entertainment" district - soon to be replaced by the ballpark entertainment district. Our very own 41,000-seat baseball stadium.

I have to admit, it's quite cool. But alas, the countdown to the end of dick-dancing days has begun. @ 14:11

March 13, 2006

[cajun-asian fusion] Tony and I decided to do an inventive dinner party on Saturday night. We conceived of the idea at Valentine's dinner at Makoto, a Japanese restaurant. We were reminiscing about our trips to N'Awlins and as we were sitting there watching the chef cut up some sushi, we thought, "hey, why not fuse the two together?"

So, the "When Katrina Met Tsunami" menu was born. It's both a celebration of fusion and destruction ;-) Not everything was a hit, but almost everything had no recipe to go by so Tony was just cooking blind.

We started out with oysters, the quintessential N'Awlins grub. The Japanese-inspired "Pearls of the Orient" appetizer consisted of two separate oyster courses - deep friend oyster nigiri (sushi) and oysters on the half shell with wasabi granita. The latter turned out pretty flat, unfortunately. The former was such a hit, everybody ate double their allocation.

We moved on to the Chinese-inspired "Hot and Cold" salad course, with cold noodle salad (very yummy, but then again I'm a noodle fiend) with cajun shrimp on top. Not as fusion-y as I expected but I still get hungry thinking about it. Me thinks Tony needs to practise on his Cajun shrimp :-)

Next, we have the dim sum-inspired "Islands in the Sea" soup course, where we floated har gow (shrimp dumplings you get at dim sum) on good ol' N'Awlins gumbo with Louisiana-style andouille sausage and chicken. Delicious, though I think we served WAY too much gumbo. The shrimp dumplings were magnificent. Too bad I don't have a picture of this course. It was Yum-my.

The intermezzo (pallette cleanser) was a shot of "Pacific Rim Mary" i.e. Bloody Mary with a stick of lemongrass in it. Not very inventive but why mess with good ol' bloody mary?

The entree was a Malaysian-inspired "Jambalaya Nasi Lemak". Nasi lemak is basically breakfast food in Malaysia, whereby coconut rice is paired with a "sambal" (spicy condiment with anchovies), eggs, cucumber and a curry of some sort. Well, instead of curry, we put in Jambalaya. The taste was eh... The Jambalaya needed to be spicier. It was a good effort.

The evening ended with the Thai-inspired "Patpong vs Bourbon St" dessert. FYI, Patpong is in Bangkok and it's seedier than Bourbon St ;-) Dessert consisted of bourbon ice cream, minted lemongrass sorbet, ginger sorbet, and star anise meringues. And of course, we got everybody plastered with mint juleps, bloody marys, cosmos, and I-don't-even-remember-how-many-bottles of wine.

After dinner, I met up with Rick/Jose, Jason and Chris/Dave at JR's. Jason and I were the last ones standing at 2am. It was a beautiful night as well - 63° at 2 in the morning! Fetch. Bitch offered to walk me home (note: he was WAY drunker than I was) and I was like "awww", but really, he only wanted to come to my side of town coz he was dying for PIZZA! *giggle* And of course, we went to Alberto's (oh, what a priceless picture!) to stuff our faces with pepperoni and sausage. I haven't been to Alberto's since my cioccolato left for Italy so it was only fitting that we had a reunion of sorts there.

Yea, that's it. Any opportunity to stuff ourselves with greasy pizza, or drink copious amounts of alcohol, we'll just use "reunion" as an excuse for a celebration. *Giggle*!

Wait, what's that you say? Why am I rambling on and on about a dinner party when I should be posting pictures from Friday night's shenanigans? Gurrrrrl... I gotta make like FCC and do a little *snip*snip* with a 5-second delay on these pictures before they can see the light of day! OMB... @ 17:26

[linens 'n things] Reading that the high was gonna be 82° today (in March!), I put on a black long-sleeve linen shirt and a khaki-colored linen pants this morning. After mulling over it for a few (a period of time that Tony refers to as "forever" as in "it takes for-Ehhhhver for him to get dressed"), I switched my pants to heavy cotton brown pants instead. I just couldn't do all-linen in March. It just didn't seem right. I don't think I'll try all-linen again until May at the earliest. We shall see.

The weekend was beautiful, n'est-ce pas? I could barely enjoy it coz I was completely wasted on Saturday and Sunday. Yesterday, especially, was a complete waste. When the bat signal went up for JR's at 4pm, I very happily chose Rehab instead of Refill. This week is pretty busy as well so I need to Recharge!

My younger brother leaves for KL today. We're sending him off at Dulles in a few hours, Yay! *giggle* I dunno, I just think he's overstayed his welcome, especially since he still doesn't have a job and only contributes to the household chores minimally - and only when forced... oh wait, that sounds like me, LOL - and not at all monetarily. 8 months is just a looooong time. I think Tony and I have been extremely generous. I know he's family and all but, I dunno, am I being mean?

Don't answer that. I know you bitches. @ 09:42

March 11, 2006

[no f-ing way] This is just too good to be true:

Sat	Sun	Mon
Showers   High: 71°F (21°C) Low: 54°F (12°C)	Isolated Thunderstorms High: 77°F (25°C) Low: 61°F (16°C)	Mostly Cloudy High: 83°F (28°C) Low: 58°F (14°C)

Can you believe it?? 70s weather in early March!! The average is supposed to be 50s/30s. I ain't complaining. If we do hit 77° tomorrow, that will crush the record high. I love global warming! *giggle*

I took the top down and drove to Whole Foods just now, and the Dupont clock said 79°! Incredible. The weather outside is exceedingly beautiful, and Dupont Circle was packed tighter than what Jason put in his mouth last night at the Underground Playground *EVIL giggle*.

Speaking of last night, there shall be a post later about it but in a gist, the MARY-land invasion (there were four Marys last night, and only one genuine girl... from Maryland!) was a night to remember. Let's just say that the genuine Mary spent $187 for dick she never thought existed (in size, color, shape and form). Her epiphany - that there is more, MUCH more to dick than Tom's - was worth the the price of admission. What about everyone else? Our other guest of honors included my hag, Nicole, and Mary's friend, Allison. And let's just say we didn't just bring the house down, we demolished it. They don't even need to clear the land for the baseball stadium coz we levelled it for them last night.

And to top last night off, there is a story about a stolen vehicle. Yes, perpetrated by somebody I know. It's all hush hush but... "I Know What You Did Last Night!" *giggle*. There was definitely something in the water last night. It was like the confluence of craziness!

I woke up at 2pm? *shame* By M2 of all ppl. He dropped by with his trick du jour, as he always does like he needs to bring his "tricks" to come see mommy/daddy for approval or some shit like that. Quite cute.

So why am I at home blogging instead of sitting outside, soaking up the sun? We have a dinner party tonight and let's just say when you wake up at 2pm, there's a LOT of prepwork that needs to be done! The theme tonight is Katrina meets Tsunami (hah, that should've been the theme for last night!). You'll hear all about it on Monday. That plus the MARY-land invasion!

Have a good w/end y'all. @ 17:13

March 10, 2006

[reunion] Yesterday witnessed the first of many Fetch Trinity reunions at JR's. Jason, Rick and I tore up JR's like it was some loose whore; well at least it was once we were through with it! We pounded so many drinks I don't even remember counting. Jason was drinking like she had just spent 7 weeks in the Sahara. It was crazy. I remember Gary/Kirk there. I know the evil triplets of Pentagon showed up later. I remember the Mean Girls (and their +1s)! Fetch. But sans Bernie though. I remember stumbling home at 11pm, Lord have mercy.

Earlier in the day, Rob, Chris and us went to Dining Out For Life at Little Fountain. The restaurant was donating half their proceeds to charity so, of course, we had to drink enough alcohol to fatten up the meal tab. Two bottles of expensive wine later - yes, for the four of us! *giggle* We were wasted even before we got to JR's. I love Little Fountain. The food is always tasty; unlike, say, Merkado which is SO hit or miss.

The partying continues tonight. It's gonna be quite insane. The list of attendees has already hit legendary status. Perhaps the final weekend, the last hurrah for the glorious strip clubs of SE!

Without further ado, pictures from last night :-)
Fetch Trinity Reunion: Our first pic together in, get this, almost three months!
Tongue and Finger: Poor Gay-wee getting licked and fingered
Drrrrrunk!: Jason and Gay-wee feeling no pain @ 17:45

[78°] Wow, it was 78° (1° below the record high), breezy and sunshiney on my walk home today. Awesome! No heavy jacket, no biting winds, no sweater even. Just perfect weather on my skin.

I live for days like these. Well, that and the thought of partying with my finest buddies tonight! SE will never be the same. Get ready for the gaysian invasion. @ 17:06

["i'll take...] 'Things that I will pay money to see' for $500 please, Alex"

From Rick, trying to put a whole new spin on "LOL":

"Oh My Peeyonce, I just snorted Crystal Lite out my nose and choked on a Dexatrim"

It's great to wake up to laughter (yes, I'm still half asleep).

The rest of the IM conversation, unfortunately for you bitches, has been filed under "the Fifth Amendment" :-) @ 10:10

March 9, 2006

[guess who?] Yup, and guess who just waltzed back into DC from his long stint (hiatus?) in NY?

Rick. Mmm-hmm. Yea, I don't blame you for going "Rick who?". Haha. Well, without further ado, our first IM convo of 2006 (the usual NC17 warning applies):

Rick:: mawee...have you checked out Junior Vasquez's Club Mix of Check On It by Beyonce? (OK, how gay are we...)
Kiat:: No, but if I listen to it now I might create a mess at the office! (OK, if you haven't figured it out by now, I *heart* Beyonce!)
Rick:: LOL
you might "Peeyonce" in your pants eh?
Kiat:: ROTFL
Rick:: LOL...you might "peeyonce" yourself?
Kiat:: You must check out Jason's "pee your pants" pic on his blog
Rick:: I will!
Kiat:: It's pee-larious
Rick:: jesus! let's pitch in and buy the bitch some Depends!
mawee...are you advertising again? http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/m4m/140462454.html (again, NC17 warning applies!!!)
Kiat:: Mary! You just made me view that pic at work! I'm gonna get fired
It's a good thing you already know your way around the DC unemployment dept
Rick:: lol...I'll show you around
It's Michael Flaming's fault
Kiat:: I'm gonna cut her
Rick:: I love it when you get all ninja on his ass!
you gonna whip out the chinese throwing stars again? Please please!
you cut her, I'll bag her
Kiat:: Please. I'm gonna shove bamboo skewers up her loose ass
Rick:: oh! I love Flaming-kabobs
Kiat:: Oh honey, he doesn't have kabobs. He has Flaming-kaginas
Rick:: eww...that sounds like a nasty STD
Kiat:: I wouldn't put it pass her
Rick:: with a burning sensation and greenish discharge
Kiat:: A ShrekTD!
Rick:: lol
on top of her Ass Flaps
Kiat:: Good god Ma-wee, 5pm at JR's??!
Rick:: LOL...not quite
more like 5:15
Kiat:: Lol, you're gonna kill Jason b4 she makes it back to work!
Rick:: someone has to keep Gary company
Kiat:: Gary, yes. The original alcoholic
Rick:: I have to make sure I have a roommate at Betty Ford
Kiat:: Gurl, I hear you already have the Queen Suite
Right next to the Empress Kiat Suite

OK, I'm outta here! @ 16:26

[vivienne's hot!] Jason bought me a red Roots Team USA beret from Torino. I look like a commie when I put it on. So I won't :-) But the other present he brought back for me? A Vivienne Westwood T-shirt!!! *squeals, leaks, tinkles, soaks, puddles, and faints* OMB. I almost teared up when I saw it but Jason quickly said to me:

"Don't stain the Westwood!!"

Haha. And then she says:

"I am glad you like it! When I saw it, I had to buy it for my pink tunnel of love. lol."

OK, that would be much funnier once I post the text on the T-shirt.

I loved it so much I wore it the moment I got it. It's the T-shirt in the pics from Chris' birthday night. They're not the best pics, but I'll take a better one and post it, I promise. The text on the front of the T is basically a HOW-TO "christen" a blow-up doll. I love it! I'll definitely have to post the text... *giggle*

But the best present of all was the text message I got from him the moment he landed at Dulles:

"I'm baaaaack!!"

My Wonka is HOME!!! @ 16:10

[the pickling begins] I really haven't been that trigger-happy with my camera phone lately. Here are the pics for this month so far:

The boys of Duplex: Chris, Mikko and Rob (from dinner last Friday)
Rich, Buttery and Spreadable: Tony thought it would be cute to remove the label from a cheese container and stick it on my ass (from dinner last Saturday at Rob/Carlos')
"Merkado": Latin-Asian fusion (from last Saturday at Cobalt)
Jason's 1st night back: First stop? JR's, of course. Der.
Chris' birthday: At Halo! Bitch is 10 years older than me, but only looks like he's 9 years older. *muah*
Chris' birthday: At Halo! Tyrus, Carlos, Chris and Rob looking quite toasty drunk at 2-4-1
Outside Halo: Chris dah-ling, fetch picture!! I, of course, was looking fierce ;-)

How could I forget to blog about Tuesday movie night shenanigans at Peter and Mitch's?? It was Jason's first night back and we decided to regale him with Italian (der) food - pasta, pasta, pasta - and Cruel Intentions. That movie rocks. That one scene where Sarah Michelle Gellar is "riding" Ryan Phillippe's, um, manhood is cream-inducing. And I would've volunteered to be Selma Blair's body double in a heartbeat, especially that scene where Ryan ate her out. Ryan Phillippe, OMB, is like God's gift to lust. I would be his bitch if Reese asked (What.. I'm not a home-wrecker :p).

After the scintillating movie, Jason and I went to JR's. His first time there in almost two months. It was fabulous. She about fell to the floor and licked the hardwood (or someone's phone with a woody pic in it, lol) when she walked in. Bitch doesn't have to work all week but I have to, so I left kinda early.

Last night, a few of us dragged Chris out to Merkado for his - dare I say it - 39th birthday celebration, followed by Halo. Another fabulous time. I so did not need the 2-4-1 drinks at Halo after the copious amount of Pinot Noir at Merkado, but I did it anyway. Tonight is Dining Out For Life (more wine, I'm sure), followed by Girls' Night Out (tomorrow... wait till you hear about this one), and then a dinner party on Saturday night. Come Sunday, I will be p-i-c-k-l-e-d. @ 15:58

March 8, 2006

[minority report] The WaPo had an interesting article today about "minority gains" in the Washington DC area. Of note:

1. Between 2000 and 2004, the Washington DC area gained 114,039 Hispanics, 67,099 Asians, 64,439 Blacks, and 58,033 Whites.
2. Greater Washington's gain in Hispanic residents ranked 9th among the nation's 88 largest metropolitan areas, up from 14th in the 90s.
3. Greater Washington's gain in Asian residents ranked 4th out of 88, up from 6th in the 90s. NYC is #1 with a 201,000 gain.
4. While the percentage of blacks in the region (26%) trails only Atlanta (29.9%) and is still growing, in sheer numbers alone Greater Washington's black population has fallen from 3rd to 4th in the nation behind NYC, Chicago and now Atlanta.
5. The region's percentage of white adults stands at 53.4%. The region's percentage of white children (under 15) is 46.9%. Minority students now account for half or more of public school enrollment.
6. Greater Washington is still gaining white residents, in contrast with NYC, LA and Chicago - the only three metro areas larger in population than Greater Washington.

So what's the point? Well, let's just say the minority report is good for Rick and bad for Jason *giggle* @ 14:58

March 7, 2006

[still mommy's boy?] I had a really bizarre conversation with my mom last night. It lasted 2 hours, and I was almost half-asleep by the end of it *giggle*. What, it was 1:15am! I shouldn't have told her all my phonecalls worldwide are free *grin*.

Not really going to talk about the conversation (well, at least not yet) but it just dawned on me that she might never be proud of me like she used to be back when I was still "in the closet" and "unblemished" (in her eyes). It's almost like the love is conditional now. That leaves quite a big hole, no?

Well, that's not gonna change how I feel about her. And on her 58th birthday today - I know, I'm still shocked my mother is going to be 60 soon - I can safely say I've never loved her and my dad more and I will always be proud of them as my parents.

Happy Birthday, mom! I would've gotten you a card, presents, flowers, and what-not... but, really, you have my credit card so I'm sure you can figure out how to better spend my money than me sending you a bunch of stuff you don't really need ;-) @ 17:30

[:-o] You better hold on to your loose items or put on ice-skates for this one.

Yesterday, for the first time ever, I went to JR's and didn't have a single alcoholic drink.

Yup, hell has frozen over. And so have all the Absolut bottles in DC - in shock and protest. @ 17:09

[we're baa-ack] I think this is funny. We're basically going back to 1984 when AT&T ruled over the entire country - long-distance and local. The pre-Bell days, if you will. Back when Ma Bell ruled. And she was HUGE, coz she owned everything telecom-related in the world's largest economy.

The past 16 months have been quite an interesting tele-fornicating one indeed, going back to Dec '04 when Sprint announced a $36bn merger with Nextel. Then Big Bro Bell SBC - itself a merger of 3 Baby Bells - bought AT&T in Jan '05 for $16bn, though we are only now seeing the new rebranded AT&T ads (just when you thought they were gone for good). Then Verizon bought MCI for $8.5bn in May '05, which marked the end of standalone long-distance companies in the US. The Big 3 long-distance companies were merged and bought out into history.

And now, AT&T is in ascendance once more. AT&T's planned (may not be approved by the FTC) $67bn acquisition of Bell South will pretty much carve the US landline market between two huge telecommunication giants - AT&T and Verizon.

And guess who's coming back to town? Yup, AT&T Wireless. SBC/AT&T and Bell South jointly own Cingular and if the AT&T acquisition of Bell South gets approved, AT&T will gain full control of the nation's largest (54+mn subscribers) cellular provider and rename it, *drumroll*, AT&T Wireless. It was only 2 years ago that Cingular bought AT&T Wireless and wiped out that name from the cellular landscape. And now, she's back. Ironic isn't it?

So, we're back to AT&T and AT&T Wireless. It all comes full circle. Pretty soon, Ma Bell will rule again. She's back and she's bigger and fiercer than ever!

And do I care? Umm, no. I use my (SpeakEasy) DSL provider's Voice-over-IP for phone services (free calls WORLDwide!!!). My cell is still with T-Mobile and since I'm such a text-messaging whore, I don't think I could leave a company that has so generously but oh-so-mistakenly given me an unlimited text messaging plan *giggle*. I love T-Mobile! @ 16:54

March 6, 2006

[oscar sunday] We had brunch on Sunday with Ben/Mike at Merkado. I didn't drink :-o I know, can you believe I passed up the Pacific Rim Mary? Sacrilege. I was still in a noodle soup mood so I ordered the udon thingie on the menu. S-a-l-t-y. It was good seeing Ben. He like constantly disappears from and reappears in my life at the right moments. Of course, I will forever associate fireworks with, um, Ben and Mike's matching and in sync climactic "fireworks" event in a hot tub. On the balcony. Overlooking the Pacific. In Puerto Vallarta. *blushing giggle*

We bought a new entertainment unit for the plasma TV in the bedroom from Crate & Barrel. I never knew the C&B store up Mass Ave was so fetch. It's still not as convenient to get to as the one in Pentagon, but the one in Pentagon doesn't have furniture. It was one of those IKEA-like entertainment units where you have to assemble yourself. Tony did it, of course. It fits perfectly in the bedroom. I like it. It was also Made in Denmark! Yea, none of that "Made in China" crap. The Denmark thing was quite cool coz, well, I'm all for free press ;-) Come to think of it, I don't know what else I have that is actually made in Denmark. Hmm...

We were done just in time for the Oscar party at Dusty's! I *love* awards shows and he always throws a fierce Oscar night party at his Condo's "TV room". I put that in quotes coz this TV room is super plush, seats like 50 and has a plasma AND a projector unit in two separate rooms. Totally awesome. Gold star decorations, plus yummy food made the evening that much more fun. Well, that and the wine. And the company of friends. Watching the Oscars with a bunch of gay men is riotous. They weren't even drunk. The snipey comments about hair, makeup, shoes, bags and dresses flowed as long as the gowns some of these actresses were wearing (OMB, did you see Jennifer Garner trip??).

1. Bjork! I will start with one of the best moments of the evening... with Jon Stewart:

"Bjork could not be here -- she was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her."

I laughed so hard, I let out a little pee. She will never live that down.

2. Cold and Hot Charlize Theron's dress? Decidedly cold. What was it made of, pleather? Her figure was badly shown and that poofy thing on her shoulder looked like leftover material from the dress. Felicity Huffman, who was so snubbed for the best actress award, looked killer hot. And the neckline on that dress screamed "Look here! I'm definitely NOT a man!!". Good God, you could almost see her pubes. And her crying *before* the awards?? Priceless.

3. Scorching If JLo looked any prettier, I think all the air in the Kodak Theatre would've been sucked out from all the gasping. Same goes for Salma Hayek, crooked boobs plus distractingly wavey hair and all. The Latinas were muy caliente last night. But it definitely became a vacuum in the room when Uma Thurman walked out. She was no holds barred drop-dead gorgeous. She looked so golden, she might as well have been an Oscar statue.

Y'know who else was hot? Jake Gyllenhaal. So hot I named my, um, nevermind. Heath? Not so hot. George Clooney was fine, but totally not my type.

4. Asian Sensation Zhang Ziyi presented as well. When she walked out, I squealed "I wanna be her!" and Barry looks at me and goes "You already are her. You even have the dress!" *giggle*. Isn't it amazing Ang Lee is the first Asian to ever win the Oscar for Best Director? He (and everyone at the party) was quite glum about losing the Best Picture Oscar to Crash though. Oh well... I haven't seen either so I shall reserve judgement.

5. I *heart* Reese Reese Witherspoon's acceptance speech made me tear. Her dress was just OK. Not hot for me. Her husband, though, is sooooo hot.

6. Perpetually there Jack Nicholson, Tom Hanks, Dustin Hoffman, John Travolta. Why does Jack get to sit in the front row every year? And Steven Spielberg is in the 5th (or 6th) row??

7. LOL! Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep doing their presenter's speech. Kwazy funny. How many times did they have to rehearse *that*? I still cannot forget Meryl Streep's soul-shattering performance in Angels in America.

It was really just all about the dresses. And the commercials, regurgitated from the Super Bowl. The awards themselves? *yawn* The top 6 awards were split by 6 different movies which I thought was interesting. I guess Oscar was just a little confused this year.

I really want to see Brokeback and Crash... @ 23:30

[march madness] As if on cue, the parties have started rolling again when March sprung up on all of us bringing springtime back to DC. The first (meteorological) spring weekend marked the beginning of a hectic year-round calendar of events. OK, well I wouldn't know about a whole year's worth but definitely a whole week's worth! Or two. I have something going on everyday this week and next week doesn't look much better either (or it does, depending on how much you like parties). Yes, March Madness is here.

Not that it felt anything like spring this past weekend. It was miserably cold. So cold, in fact, that we cabbed everywhere. I am *so* not walking more than 4 blocks in sub-40° weather!

I haven't been to Duplex in quite awhile. So long that I almost forgot how strong their Cosmos are. Blinding comes to mind. And last Friday - we cabbed there, of course - I had three. I was already long done after the first one but why stop at one when you're having a good time? We had Dave/Chris with us, plus Rob and celebrity chef (with a WaPo Food section spread this past Wed!) - Mikko! Roaringly good time. We dragged Chris along to the opening night of Euphoria at Cada Vez which was such a bust it's not even worth mentioning. Halo was our salvation. We slammed a few more Cosmos down there; again, blindingly strong ones. Don't really remember much of Halo, although we were there for at least two Cosmos. Then, Chris and I made the mistake of stopping at JR's on the way home and paid for it dearly the next morning. Seven drinks. All of them so strong it eroded our esophagi. We were a huge and complete mess.

I was so completely shattered on Saturday morning, I didn't roll out of bed till 3pm!! Well, to be fair, I did wake up at 10am coz I had a hole in my stomach the size of Pluto. I had some noodle soup (der) and crashed again. It was not pretty. I didn't even get to yoga. Saturday was just wasted. I think my hangover hit at like, what, 4pm? Kwazy.

So did I stay home Saturday night? Hi, have we met? We went to Rob/Carlos' for a lovely dinner party. Yes, we cabbed up there. After stuffing ourselves silly with steak and lots of wine (I was very bad this weekend diet-wise), we dragged our lovely hosts to Cobalt for some bootylicious-shakin'. And we did. We met up with (yes, I was sober enough to remember) Evan, Adam/Michelle/Forty, Liz/Dusty/Tyson, etc. It was also Mikey's birthday so we said hi and never saw him again *giggle*. Have you noticed how I group peeps together according to association when mentioning them? It's weird. They're all lovely individuals, although some less than others, LOL! But I digress...

Cobalt was relatively quiet, but insane! The music was a whole lotta thumpa-thumpa but whatev. I still can't get over why clubs here don't play music like the European clubs do. Eurotrash music is just awesome. We drank a lot. Again. Danced a little. Met some fun new ppl, including this hag who thought she could make me her fag. I was like, "Nuh-uh bitch, I already have plenty, plus Liz here from Arkansas is FAR more fetch." She didn't like that answer, LOL! At one point, she tried to abscond with me to the downstairs bar which got Liz tossing her Southern demeanor aside and getting all Joan-Crawford-with-a-wire-hanger on her ass. It was really delicious watching two hags fighting over me. And most pricelessly, this curious 24yo "I still wear my cap backwards and oh btw, I live with mommy/daddy" boy kept grabbing my ass and trying to talk to me. Whatev. I was like, "Bitch, please. You're neither old nor rich enough."

:-o No, I diin't.

Yea, guess what I found in my back pocket the next morning? All's I have to say is... Read my lips: I don't dial 301 numbers. Ever. Stank. How geographically tragic.

*giggle*

I got home at 3:30. Thank God Adam drove me home coz it was cold as balls. And I haven't even gotten to Sunday yet! OMB. Speaking of Beyonce, did you guys check out twist last night on Hot FM? I heard the "Big Gay 5" segment (countdown) and the #1 song? Beyonce's Check On It.

Der. @ 17:00

[he so smart] Our office is rolling out Windows XP this month - yes, 4 1/2 years after it was released, and just in time for Vista! What can I say... it's the Federal Government. Aaaaanywho, a new "Computer Use" policy will be accompanying the rollout. It takes effect today. And it bans ALL web-mail access from our work desktops.

WTF? I am already AIM-less, they cannot possibly take away my Gmail/Gtalk access. Argh. So not fetch. I guess I shouldn't complain since Nicole's new job has NO internet access at all (aww, you poor baby). Speaking of Nicole, we just had a FIERCE lunch - fierce on our waistlines coz we ordered WAY too much! - at PF Chang's in Tysons II. I know, right? It's come down to this meeting halfway for lunch thing (she's in Herndon, I'm in DC). Sigh. I miss my hag.

Anywho, *so* not happy with work right now. Not that I'm ever happy with work. You try sitting mind-numbingly in front of this computer for 8 (or more) hours a day and we'll see if you're happy. Human interaction is a joke and if you've ever been around government employees, you'll know what I mean (with all due respect to Rob, Nicole and Tom, of course *grin*). These people will sap every ounce of motivation, happiness and life out of you with their demoralizing demeanor.

But wait, there's more. I found a workaround to the new policy! What... you thought I was gonna take this latest "Computer Use" Nazi decree face down and ass up? Gurrrrrl, please. Tony found a way for me to "tunnel" my Gmail/Gtalk sessions through the agency firewall (encrypted), to our servers at home and fetching Gmail/Gtalk from there in order to escape detection. So I'm basically fetching the website on my home computer and shipping the bits back to my office PC!! i.e. the agency firewall only sees a bunch of gobbledygook and they can't tell where I'm going *giggle*

He so smart. @ 16:31

March 3, 2006

[house crap] Two interesting things happened real-estate-wise for us. First, our property taxes went down :-o I know, right? How can that be in this torrid real-estate environment? Apparently the DC council reduced property taxes for 2006 (from $0.96/$100 to $0.92/$100) and increased the "homestead deduction" i.e. the amount you get to reduce the property's assessed value (from $38k to $60k). All that, plus the 12% cap on property tax increases, meant that our property tax actually went down for 2006. How cool is that? It's still a staggering amount though, so I'm not quite celebrating, but also not quite shitting a brick. The difference between what we Are paying and what we Could be paying (the uncapped amount) is enough to make me do a happy jig and praise Beyonce for the property tax cap.

The other fun thing that happened was in the mortgage front. We refi-ed the house about 14 months ago coz our original mortgage (1-mth ARM) was spiralling upwards from 2.5% (I know, how awesome was that?? ahh, the good ol' days) to 4%, and the Fed showed no signs of backing off their rate increases. So we gambled and locked in our mortgage for 5 years at 4.5%, much to my chagrin then coz it was still 0.5% more than what we were paying, though with no guarantees that the rates would stay at 4%. Not to mention the refinancing costs were outrageous. So not only were we gonna be paying more on a monthly basis, we had to put down a big chunk to get a new mortgage! Scandalous.

Well, that gamble paid off. Rates are at 6.25% now, and as of Feb 2006, we've recouped all our refi costs. Yay! The money we've saved from locking in at 4.5% has finally exceeded the amount we spent on the refinancing. And we still have almost 4 years to go at our current lock. And rates are still going up! I think we made the right decision even though it didn't seem like it at that time. And hopefully in 4 years' time, rates would start going back down and we can refi or extend our mortgage at 4.5%... or lower! Wonder if our timing is that good? *gazes into a crystal ball* ;-)

Then again, the whackos in the White House could decide to bomb Iran and you know what that means... $200 gas = super-high inflation = high interest rates as far as the eye can see. Globalization sucks, LOL! Kidding... I'm a total and unrepentant free-marketer/trader. @ 12:42

March 2, 2006

[tattletale] I'm gonna run the risk of sounding rude but I don't care. Not the least because this will all end soon, thank Beyonce. And the act itself has definitely crossed a line in my book. And if my parents read this, well, they can deal with it in 2 weeks.

I caught my brother smoking in the basement bathroom last night :-o

I know, right??

I was like "WTF?? All my furniture is going to be ruined!! Oh.. but it would be fun to re-upholster". LOL!

I was kinda furious actually. Especially since he KNEW it was wrong of him to smoke in the house coz he went to obscene lengths to conceal the evidence. Such as opening the bathroom window (thanks, as if my heating bills are not high enough), bringing a fan into the bathroom to blow the "smoke" out the window, and shutting the basement door to the upper levels so that the smoke doesn't waft in the direction of our living space.

Um, hello... the smoke billowing out of the basement bathroom comes up right next to the powder room, and the living room couch - where I lounge every night - is directly adjacent. Der.

I'm not so much annoyed that he's smoking. We've all tried it. We've all done it. Some of us are still doing it (silly gooses). Who am I to judge right? Although I still feel protective over his well-being so the fact that he's smoking kinda got me annoyed, but who am I to mommy him.

I'm just annoyed that he *knew* what he was doing was wrong, and yet... he still did it anyway! Smoking in the house?? How fucking inconsiderate is that? How audaciously presumptuouos of him to think that he can smoke INside the house? Why didn't he just use the bloody deck?? It's like, right there. I hate to say this but he's like the houseguest from hell...

And hell has a departure date: March 13th! No, I'm not excited. I'm fucking ECSTATIC :-D @ 10:57

[health update] Well, this is not so much news as it is just a way for me to keep track of my health. My doctor called this morning to give me news about the barrage of blood tests I consented to during my full (well, almost full) physical on Tuesday (sans probing! Haha.. that comes next year when I turn 30 *groan*).

All the evil diseases checked out negative, blah blah. No surprises there.

Six months ago, my BP was 114/76 and it's now 108/78. My doctor says that's pretty good and stable, but he still won't let me off the pill :(. Not that it matters coz the little white pill literally costs me $1/week ($10 every 3 months). It's cheaper than Altoids, and a lot smaller and cuter. My other pills, on the other hand, are grrrrr expensive, no thanks to a change in prescription coverage. Stank.

Anywho, I digress. Back to me. My cholesterol has dropped from 166 to 163, yay!! My good cholesterol (HDL) has risen from 58 to 63, and my doctor says that's amazing. My cholesterol ratio (total cholesterol / HDL) is 2.6 which is great, seeing that 3.5 is desirable and anything below 5 (200/40) is OK.

See? It pays to listen to your doctor. Especially if your doctor is as hot as Dr. Harry *giggle*. @ 10:43

[royally pissed] This is abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous. Bush is in India, and he's going to visit Gandhi's memorial. And India is letting him. Excuuuuuse me? Some might call it crass and disrespectful, or even hypocrisy at its apex. The way I see it.. It's like the Holocaust Memorial welcoming Hitler.

I am disgusted and furious. See? That's why I shouldn't listen to NPR but I have no choice when Tony's taking me to work (yea, I was too lazy from lack of sleep this morning). Ugh, I cannot believe the Indian authorities did not just spit on his request to visit Rajghat, the site where Mahatma Gandhi was cremated. It is a desecration, and an absolute mockery that this despair-spreading, devastation-loving, war-mongering president is allowed to pay homage to the world's most enduring icon of non-violence. Bush knows *nothing* about non-violence. I am so fucking annoyed.

And I'm so fucking annoyed at CNN! Look at their little blurb:

"The president is being formally welcomed to India Thursday morning at a ceremony at the president palace in the capital New Delhi... He is then expected to visit a memorial of India's independence leader, M.K. Gandhi, before beginning talks with Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh."

Notice how CNN conveniently omitted the fact that not only is Gandhi India's independence leader, he is also the world's symbol of peace and our greatest hope. Why... are we afraid of the juxtaposition of having Bush - an invader, an international terrorist and the world's greatest fear - share the same sentence with the word "peace"?

I am so royally pissed off. @ 10:20

[i can't wait] for the weekend to begin. What better way to think of the coming one than sharing pictures from the previous one? These are from Halo last Saturday. Hot.

Twosies
Ma ethnic ho!: MichaelG... can't live with him, can't live without him...
Drunk: OMB, could we look any drunker?
Just some cute guy we met at New Year's
Evan & Michelle: Yes, we call him Michelle. Coz bitch is a bottom, LOL! Just kidding (no, I'm not)
My buddy Evan: He was falling down drunk. But apparently, I was drunker coz I'm holding on to him like my anchor!

and Threesomes!
The Evil Triplets: MichaelG, Adam and Patrick
Camera hog: Can you see me squeezing thru?
Benetton: Wait, we're missing a black. And why are there so few at Halo? Drink prices too high? :-o KIDDING!!!
Bitch, what are you on... that you just can't stop smiling??
Strike a pose: Ohh Leo. Sexxxy.
My buddy Leo: Of course Michael has to shove his way into every photo! LOL *muah*
More new friends: I mean, der, who doesn't like to get their picture taken? :)

"Things That Make You Go Eww for $500 please, Alex"
I affectionately call this one: Tongue & Chin
Tongue & Chin II: "The Two Chins"? "Tongue Strikes Back"?? "The Tongue That Shagged Me"???
Ethnic bonding: What... you've never seen two minorities at it before? ;-) Don't worry, Tony took the picture! His reaction was "eww", LOL!
OK, this is just Disgusting, hahaha

And, finally... this, after taking one too many camera phone picture...

Patrick: about to flip us both birds - you can see the beginnings - "You fucking Asians and your fucking cameras!!!" Hahaha *muah*

As you can see from the avalanche of compromising pictures, I am very lethal with my camera phone (der, I'm yellow). Bitches, beware! I'm coming to a bar near you *evil grin*

Oh and I cannot end this without welcoming Jason home. My cioccolato arrived on American soil last night! Miss you... AND your luggage, LOL!!! OK, not funny yet, huh? Sorry... It'll come soon, I promise! *fingers-crossed*

OK, I have to get to work... this whole insomnia thing is not fetch. (Note time -->) @ 08:07

March 1, 2006

[naughty pics] Well, not *those* kind of naughty pics. But some of these pics are quite, um, suggestive ;-) Proceed with care! And no, I don't feel like writing so you'll just have to deal with the pics...

"Freeway" Movie Night @ Peter's
OK, the movie was WHORE-rible and HO-riffic, LOL! (Reese plays a whore's daughter.. and becomes one herself later) I had never heard of the movie and initially I was like, how bad could Reese Witherspoon and Kiefer Sutherland possibly be? I mean, surely anything by Reese is, at the very least, watchable. Right? Reese is even up for an Oscar on Sunday!

But OMB... Before the movie started, I asked Mitch whether the movie was funny and he said "yea, but dark" and I was like "oh you mean like this is an African-American movie?". Giggle. Yup, fits of laughter. Well, as it turns out, this movie was so dark it was pitch black. Depressing with moments of hilarity, but so much not enough to rescue the movie. In fact, no amount of campiness or glasses of wine (not even 5) was enough to save this movie!! Sorry, Mitch!

Aww, lovebirds Peter and Mitch
The Fetch Family Photo... they adopted me from China! *giggle*
Isn't it sweet that they named a wine after me?
We were trying to put the "yellowtail in yellowtail", as it were
What... she has fabulous jugs!
So I licked it, LOL!!! And Karen's loving it!
My neighborhood at night... Dupont Circle! @ 23:37

More >>

31 :: fetchpix
31 :: sneak peek
31 :: the weekend is here!
31 :: meltdown
30 :: good distractions
30 :: pieces of me
29 :: credit woes
29 :: total eclipse
28 :: weekend pics
28 :: three-peat weekend
28 :: swedish fun
28 :: "omb, i broke jake!"
28 :: can i tell you?
28 :: "so together...
28 :: metro turns 30
24 :: metro, tourists, drunk
22 :: dryer balls
21 :: weekend pics
20 :: 'w' is for wrong
20 :: monday musings
18 :: lunchtime tryst
18 :: all about sb
18 :: mission accomplished
17 :: i want...
16 :: random pics
16 :: almost here
16 :: jaded
16 :: i'm bored
15 :: asian eyes
15 :: i feel a sequel comin'
14 :: pics from friday
14 :: omnigoogle
14 :: nationals stadium
13 :: cajun-asian fusion
13 :: linens 'n things
11 :: no f-ing way
10 :: reunion
10 :: 78°
10 :: "i'll take...
09 :: guess who?
09 :: vivienne's hot!
09 :: the pickling begins
08 :: minority report
07 :: still mommy's boy?
07 :: :-o
07 :: we're baa-ack
06 :: oscar sunday
06 :: march madness
06 :: he so smart
03 :: house crap
02 :: tattletale
02 :: health update
02 :: royally pissed
02 :: i can't wait
01 :: naughty pics