August 31, 2006
[oink] I am in hog heaven. I pigged out for breakfast on the plane just now, shoving a fruit plate, TWO croissants, a bowl of cereal AND a gimongous plate of noodles with minced chicken. That was, oh, 2 1/2 hours ago.
Right now, I am in the Singapore Airlines Silver Kris First Class Lounge. If Heaven has a name, this place is it. They have fried noodles, buns, omelette, seafood porridge, and curry laksa on the menu today. I absolutely had to get my hands on some curry laksa before I got to KL, which is in, oh, 2 hours.
Yup, we got here early; landed at 5. I waltzed up to the Transfer Desk and asked nicely if I could be put on the 6:30am flight to KL instead of my scheduled 8:30am. Even though my (free) ticket was non-changeable, she mentioned that I was in First Class, typed furiously into her little terminal, and voila, I am now on the flight that leaves in 30 minutes. Better yet, she *called* downstairs to baggage claim to make sure my luggage would make it on the 6:30am flight, even though it is tagged for the 8:30am flight.
Singapore, and Singapore Airlines, is very good to me. Plus, the flight attendants on the flight just now were like "Goodbye Mr. Kiat! We hope you had a pleasant flight! See you soon! Enjoy your stay! Come back and visit us again!"
See? I'm charming *giggle*.
Unless I'm pigging out at my second breakfast this morning. Oink! 18:03 SGT
[almost there] So how did I end up spending my 18 hours onboard? Here's a breakdown:
Dinner & Poseidon: 2 1/2 hours
Read Mags & Blog: 1 1/2 hours
X1 and X2 movies: 4 hours
Deep Sleep: 6 1/2 hours
Rest & Noodle soup: 3 hours
The flight really wasn't that long. It's an awesome way to get to Singapore. One hop and all done. I feel like I've done so much - sleep (not enough), complete the X-Men trilogy (which is AWEsome btw), blog, read, eat, eat, eat *giggle*, have my Pho, etc. The Pho was yummy but it was kinda odd - it had celery in it, yuck.
So much more to do and eat. But we are landing in 2 1/2 hours. Sigh, I don't want to get off.
And I'm *SO* ready for breakfast! *starving* @ 02:43 SGT
August 30, 2006
[wifi-less] I don't think there's Connexion on this flight. I can't get a wireless signal or anything. The shutdown must've taken effect immediately. Pout. I guess you'll read all about my (mis-)adventures on SQ21 after I land in Singapore.
I just changed seats coz my seatmate in row 14 - right-side window - had his leg up on the back of the seat in front of him the whole time as he dozed off. And he's in the aisle seat! I couldn't get up to pee or anything, grr. Well, now I have a pair of seats all to myself on the left-side. Fetch! The view is decidedly less exciting though - the wing is right below me. Stank.
I'm still contemplating what time to go to (space)bed. I kinda wanna see the North Pole again but have no idea when that would be. It's 2:30am where we are, and 2:30pm in Singapore right now which means I should stay up for a bit longer. It really isn't that hard, coz there's an assload of stuff to watch on Krisworld WISEMEN3000.
For example:
80 Movies:: All three X-Men, Poseidon, MI3, The Da Vinci Code, Rush Hour, Nacho Libre, Sweet Home Alabama, Forrest Gump, Thank You For Smoking, Antz, etc.
105 TV Programmes:: Simpsons, Office, Frasier, W&G, CSI, ER, House, Music Videos, Cartoons, Sports, Travel, News, you name it they got it.
180 CDs and 12 Audio Channels:: Entire albums of Black Eyed Peas, Coldplay, James Blunt, Keane, Madonna, Nelly Furtado, Pink, Prince, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Rihanna, Shakira, etc. You can even create your own Playlist!
91 Interactive Games
It's shocking how fast time flies on a Singapore Airlines flight. @ 02:37 EDT or 14:37 SGT
[wow] The show lasted for about 15 minutes, but it was one of the most spectacular shows in the sky I've ever seen. It's 2:15am and we're somewhere over the Hudson Bay. And I've just seen the Northern Lights for the first time ever in my entire life.
Oh. My. Beyonce.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
One of the super fantastic Singapore Girls (aka flight attendants) pointed it out to me as I was finishing Poseidon (which was really good, btw) on Krisworld. She had just seen it herself for the first time. At first, I was like, "Wha? They're not that pretty." They weren't colorful like the ones I had seen in pictures. These were just pure white. But then they started to move, like twirling ribbons of white cotton candy across the Northern night sky. The white rays forming arcs and dancing tubes, enveloping the entire plane moving from one side to the other. I was awe-struck, my jaw was open the entire time. It was pure magic. Alas, I couldn't take a picture coz the light was really faint. But it was unforgettable.
The show is over now. 14h 45m to go. I'm so excited about seeing the Northern Lights I can't sleep! @ 02:21 EDT or 14:21 SGT
[me so hungry] An hour into the flight. It's officially Wednesday the 30th. We just crossed into Quebec. Looooong way to go.
It's past midnight. I'm quite sleepy actually (again, it might be the champagne). But I'm also hungry. And between my tummy and my mind, my tummy wins. I'm hungry and I want to eat my Chilean Bass!
Dinner is to be served shortly. Coincidentally, there is an identical dish on the menu but instead of Chilean Bass, they're offering Grouper. Oh well, I guess I didn't need to BTC my meal after all. But I prefer the Chilean Bass ;-) @ 00:02 EDT or 12:02 SGT
Update:: Dinner was pretty quick. Lasted about two hours. I guess they wanted to get it out of the way so the passengers could go to bed. The Chilean Bass was overcooked. But the fried rice, mushrooms, peppers and asparagus that came with it were really yummy. The appetizer was a lobster thingie with a tomato pesto sauce. Very, very yummy. I didn't partake in the dessert coz, well, I'm going to the beach in a couple of days and I don't want to look like a beached yellow whale.
I'm already eyeing the noodle soup for a snack in a few. I couldn't possibly eat again two hours after dinner... Could I?
Mmm, me so hungry. @ 02:44 EDT or 14:44 SGT
August 29, 2006
[polar route] The pilot just announced that we are flying the polar route today. Usually, in winter, this flight would ride the jet stream over the Atlantic Ocean, the Europen continent and the Asian landmass. But it being summer, the flight is gonna go up over the North Pole and down through Russia, Mongolia, China, Indo-China, Malaysia then Singapore, since the headwinds are less pronounced over the poles.
Polar routes are fun, but that could be my second glass of Piper-Heidsick talking *giggle*. I remember my first polar route experience (Chicago - Hong Kong in 2001), and the pilot woke us up to see the North Pole. He didn't really need to since it was broad daylight outside. There were no clouds. The ground was frozen solid with huge crack lines running jagged all over the place. It was quite surreal. This time, though, it's pitch black outside. Nothing to see *pout*. But wait, the North Pole has 24-hour daylight until the autumnal equinox. I'm gonna try and stay up for it :-)
Flying time is slightly less today: 17 1/2 hours. Still jaw-dropping, but more than an hour less than scheduled. That puts us into Singapore at 4:30am SGT on Thursday (Singapore Standard Time). Which means a 4-hour layover before my flight to KL *groan*.
Well, I'm not complaining. I am "trapped" in a SpaceBed. In Raffles Class. On Singapore Airlines. For the next 17 1/2 hours.
It really couldn't get much better. @ 23:58 EDT or 11:58+1 SGT
[i made it!] It took me close to SEVEN hours door-to-door from DC to Newark Airport!!!
I thought everything and everyone was conspiring against me catching my flight to Singapore this evening. First we were supposed to leave out of Dulles at 4:45pm. That flight was delayed till 5:30pm. Then 6:50pm. Then 7:15pm. Not knowing what was going on, I was seething at that point coz if UA had told me earlier, I would've made them put me on a Continental flight from DCA!
We were finally allowed to board at 7pm. Push-back from the gate at 7:30pm. We taxi, taxi, taxi. I see the runway. Then, penalty box. Yup, we were put on ground hold. Grr. Nobody at United offered so much as an explanation, much less an apology. Double grr. I was ready to write a strongly worded letter to United. If only I had juice in my laptop.
Yup, nothing was going my way. And you know how I detest that feeling.
Finally, the pilot comes on and tells us the Dulles-Newark air route had been shut down due to weather. I was like, WTF?
We waited, and waited, and waited.
At 8:30pm, the pilot comes on and tells us we have found a "new air highway" to Newark, bypassing the storms. I was like, "why the hell didn't you do that an hour ago?". Grr. He finally apologizes. Meekly. I was boiling over with impatience and annoyance.
Anyhoe, we finally arrive in Newark at 9:30pm - 6 1/2 hours after I left the house in DC! I could've bicycled up to Newark in that time.
And boy, was there weather in Newark. They weren't kidding. They had some really bad weather in Newark, like couldn't-see-anything-until-we-were-2ft-off-the-ground bad. They weren't yanking my chain after all.
Still, I went from fretting over how to spend my 5-hr layover in Newark, to panicking about whether I was gonna be able to check-in on time for my Singapore Airlines flight. I ran out of Terminal A, hopped onto the Air Train, and made a mad dash for the check-in counters, arriving an hour before departure. Phew!
I was like the last to check-in. Security was non-existent. Again, they didn't bother with liquids or gels. They ushered me to the SAS lounge (which was very IKEA, and had Baby Shrimp + Roast Pork Fried Rice). I barely had time to drink a glass of water and eat a piece of sliced turkey (yes, I was hungry again, go figure) before they directed us to the gate.
I made it! @ 23:46 EDT or 11:46+1 SGT
[fifth starbucks] Overheard from a hideously fat redneck white trash dude and his family walking down the street next to Starbucks:
"This is like the fifth Starbucks we've seen today. What a joke."
Um, I think your lazy fat ass has been walking around the same one. Five times. @ 18:14
[*yawn*] In a gist:
1. Plane is here, but Air Traffic Control has delayed our flight to 6:50pm. Ugh.
2. I'm not complaining coz the previous two flights have been cancelled. Plus, I will still be arriving with 3 hours to spare in Newark.
3. I've been here since 4:30pm. I paid for the HotSpot.
4. I just wolfed down a Potbelly Italian sandwich with hot peppers and onions. Yum.
5. I am at C18. Potbelly is at C2. The walk there and back burnt up all the calories I consumed.
Now that I've had some time to wind down (being at the airport, bored, sitting on my thumbs, de-stressing), I am beginning to realize how much into the hole I am in when it comes to sleep. My eyes are poofy (not pretty at all), and I'm constantly yawning. Sooooo sleepy. I need a HUGE nap.
What better way to do it than on an 18h 40m flight, right? @ 18:11
[disconnected] Ugh, there is no wi-fi in this lounge. Well, there is T-Mobile HotSpot but I'm refusing to pony up $6 for the next hour, or $10 for the whole day especially since I'm pretty sure the SAS Lounge in Newark (which is what Singapore Airlines uses) has free wi-fi and I'm gonna be there for 3+ hours.
But I'm not 100% sure. Perhaps I should just pay the damn $6. Hmm...
It's 4:20pm and I'm beginning to get hungry. The yummy-licious sushi lunch I had at work today (the cafeteria in our other building serves sushi to order!) was clearly insufficient, even though I pigged out and had 14 pieces. "Dinner" won't be served until midnight on the plane, an hour after take-off. That means I have to scrounge for food in Newark *gag*.
Woe is me. @ 16:25
[so far...] ...so good :-)
I was in quite a rush today, needing to make a haircut at 2pm which ran *way* late (note to self: find a hairdresser that you like and stick with it). We left the house at 3pm, hitting traffic on 66 (of course), and getting to the airport an hour before my flight was sposed to depart. I made it through check-in (1K/1st Class check-in = 6 ppl in line = Fetch!), and Premium Security (no line = Double Fetch!), jumped on a moonbuggy/mobile lounge to the C-gates of Dulles (i.e. West Virginia), and now I'm comfortably seated in the Red Carpet Club waiting for my flight to depart in 30 minutes.
But wait, my flight to Newark is delayed - of course - by 45 minutes, which means I have about an hour to kill in the lounge. United Express? Stank. Dulles? Double stank.
The best part? I still have my mini-tubes of Bvlgari (perfume) and Aveda (hairgel) in my jeans pocket.
*GIGGLE* @ 16:16
August 28, 2006
[final summer weekend] OMB. This past weekend was, um, in a word - insane. The weekend started on Thursday night at JR's, then Friday's drink-a-thon which started at Zaytinya and ended at Apex. Two parties on Saturday night was followed by Sunday night at JR's.
Yea yea, all you bitches want are pics...
Hot: Dunno who the chick is, but she looked fierce! Rick's puckering. He must agree.
Fetch Trinity: Annie's! We are *so* drunk. Der, this was "cosmo chicken" night.
Uhh: Jason's orgasmic look is now forever immortalized on the internet, LOL
Yeison: Drippingly hot time at Apex
Pamela Pamela: Holy D-cups, Batman!
Birthday Boy: Jason giving the Black Birthday Boy his White Birthday Wish
Chokehold: I... Can't... Breathe
Close Encounters: ...of the Gay Kind
Before...: If you've never had Chilli Cheese Fries at The Diner at 2am before, you haven't lived
...& After: It took us FOUR minutes to eat all that? Gurls, we need to do better...
Plate: Rick is so sweet, he's being nice to the dishwashers at the back by cleaning the plates for them... coz they're Latino
Maria: If you had any doubts as to how drunk Jason was that night...
Gumball I: Look, a gumball machine! We're 5.
Gumball II: Bubble King, yum. But I wanted Bubble Queen! Waa...
Gumball III: Mommy, look... THREE different colors!
Gumball IV: They're not black, spit 'em out!
Hungry Asian: Stealing Aaron's food... coz mine's not here yet!
I Don't Like: Jason channeling Anna Nicole Smith
Waitress: Our super fetch waitress
Drunk I: Bitch is either about to throw up, or practising his CS skills for later
Drunk II: I think he just swallowed a gumball... or his own vomit
Drunk III: No, bitch, you can't pay with your Metro card
Thursday night - you've already heard about it.
Friday - Work got super busy and mega stressful, so I escaped for a fetch Liquid Ladies Who Lunch with Rick, Jason and Aaron at Zaytinya. I admit, I drank a glass of Moet. Over a two hour lunch! I was plenty sober after. OK OK, I won't do it again *giggle*.
I went back to work for a few hours before meeting up with Jason and Rick at Jason's place. An impromptu house party at his neighbor's, Andy/Steph's (aka "the hot straights") ensued. It was a blast. All of us drooled all over Andy the entire time.
Some dude at the party kept picking on me, claiming I was "gay by insertion", and calling me a "slanty-eyed bitch". My take on that is I rather be hated than be ignored, LOL! After the party, we headed to JR's for a drink. I needed to eat and shower so I went home. Jason was passed out drunk. Literally. He passed out on the front steps of JR's (gurrrrrl!) and Rick had to take him home. What a mess!
I was so ready for bed but Evan needed a hook up, so I played wing man and went with him to Apex at 1am. There was a line! Can you believe it? Stank. We got in and I was like, WTF? Why is it so warm in here? It wasn't just warm, bitches. It was crack-sweatingly hot. And gross. If you sticked your tongue out, you could've tasted ass sweat. It was nasty. It didn't help that it was very humid outside. Inside, with all those overheated sweaty (and hot) bodies? The walls and floors were a pool of sweat. The mirrors were like waterfalls of perspiration. The air in the video bar was so thick you could cut it and bottle it up (and sold it too, gurrrrrl there were some HOT sweaty boys in there).
We found out later on that the A/C was broken. Go figure. The only A/C unit in the entire building that worked was near the Karaoke area. So we parked ourselves there for the first hour. I ran into Yeison and Johnathan so we danced for two dripping hours to fierce music. Barely anyone was moving coz it was so hot. I sweated so much dancing that night, I could feel myself evaporating.
Great workout!
Saturday - Dinner party at Roger/David's with Brad/David. The theme was Icelandic. Not quite my cuppa tea. But it was fun. I got drunk on beer, wine and Aquavit (nasty). After the party, I joined Rick's mini house party. Jason, Evan, Aaron, Neil + 2 friends were there. We decided to hoof it to Daryl's birthday party up in Adams Morgan. Only it was way too hot and way too far. So we cabbed it.
And we finally answered the age old question of how many fags can you fit in a DC cab? 6.
And how much did the cab driver fleece us out of for a 5-block ride? $18.
The party was great. Free booze, Fetch. Lots of fun ppl. We were all crazy drunk by 1:30am after drinking our body weight in vodka, so we went to The Diner and ate our body weight in Chilli Cheese Fries. You can easily figure out what happened next from the pics above. Lots of drama, and all of them centered on Jason aka Miss Drunk America.
I stumbled home (on foot!) at 3am. I'm surprised I actually found my way home, LOL!
Sunday - JR's, of course. Adam, Patrick, Jason, M2 were all there. It was the perfect last gasp to the summer (for me, at least). I wanted one or two drinks, but got 4 instead (would've been 5 had it not been for AoE-Ben who unashamedly stole one of my drinks *giggle*).
Next stop - Bali!
OK, I need to go pack. Toodles. @ 23:02
[3.5 hours] I have just been told over the phone by the impossibly pleasant and super nice Singapore Airlines lady (I wanna say all Asians are nice, but look at me...) that I have to get to Newark 3 1/2 hours before departure time.
:-o
I already had a 4 1/2 hour connection in Newark so it's not a big deal. It was either that, or a 45-min connection - involving a change in terminals - and there was no way I was gonna risk missing my ultra-plush SQ flight to Singapore. But holy shit, three and a half hours?? Talk about security hell!
I'm still gonna try and smuggle a small tube of hair gel onboard. Wish me luck ;-)
P/S: If you read about a plane diversion tomorrow from Newark, that'll be me :-D @ 15:05
[9,539 miles] Tomorrow, I will be travelling on the world's longest non-stop scheduled commercial flight in the world: SQ21 from Newark to Singapore. A mind-numbing distance of 9,539 miles or 18h 40m of scheduled flying time on an Airbus A345, crossing 12 time-zones to (literally) the other side of the planet.
In Business/Raffles Class of course, der. With my very own lay-flat SpaceBed. Fetch.
The flight actually flies westbound from NYC, over the North Pole (i.e. polar route) and down through Russia, Mongolia, China, before landing in Singapore. My parents flew this route in reverse (i.e. shorter coz of prevailing eastbound winds) about a year ago - thanks to me - so now it's my turn!
I'm not sure how many meals I'll get (does it matter? It's gonna be an assload), but one of them will be BTC-ed (Book The Cook) i.e. I get to order my entrée beforehand. How fierce is that? Here are my chocies:
- Chicken Wellington in pergourdine sauce with squash and wild rice
- Grilled shrimps & scallops in tarragon mustard sauce w/ leeks, carrots & linguini
- Parsley crusted loin of lamb w/ grilled veges and potatoes
- Mediterranean BBQ noisette of lamb w/ sun-dried tomato couscous
- Pan-fried filet of beef in 3 peppercorn sauce w/ garden veges & roasted potatoes
- Baked Chilean bass in Oriental XO sauce w/ selected veges and fried rice
- Braised short-ribs of beef in Chinese wine & 5-spice w/ mixed veges & egg noodles
- Stir-fried chicken in Chinese wine w/ seasonal veges and chicken flavored rice
I think I'm gonna go for the Chilean bass. Or the stir-fried chicken. Yum.
I know I won't be bored coz (hopefully) there'll be Connexion (in-flight wi-fi), plus 450 channels of KirsWorld IFE. Not to mention I'll have to sleep at some point since I can't possibly stay up for 19 hours (except for Fetch Fridays when I'm up at 8 for work and don't get home till 4am the next day).
I'm quite excited. This is gonna be the longest and best flight ever! @ 14:56
August 27, 2006
[dept of erections] Look at what Jason bought from Urban Outfitters on Friday ;-)
Dept. of Erections, LOL!
More Fetch Trinity pictures:
@ JR's after Liquid Ladies Who Lunch Friday
@ a birthday party in Adams Morgan
Fierce. @ 21:37
[4 weeks] Today was my last night at $2 Sundays at JR's in 4 weeks. As you all know, I will be in Bali this coming Sunday, Italy on the 10th and Switzerland on the 17th. Needless to say, Adam/Patrick, Jason and I stormed JR's for one final summer Sunday at JR's.
More pics from tonight:-
Phil: My bean queen buddy Phil!
Ulrich: Ulrich, on his final night in DC
Legend: I'm a Legend AND I'm Bigger... in Japan!
Greg&Andy: Patrick trying to sneak into my fetch photo with Greg & Andy
Humpin': Patrick getting humped on the sidewalk of Church St by Jenn
Caution: Yellow tape on a yellow boy
Think: Look at what somebody did to this poor tree
No Dogs: "I'll eat you, my pretty. And your lil' dog too."
Flowers: Could I be *any* gayer?
Patrick: Strike a pose, there's nothing to it
Damn right, we're hotter than most ;-) @ 21:26
[ex-boyfriends] Robert on Project Fagway last week:
"I love recycling. I recycle papers... plastics... ex-boyfriends..."
LOL!
Too bad he's gone now. As Heidi so sweetly says at the end of each episode: "You're out!" @ 16:23
[owns, own-nots] Another great article on WaPo today.
"In the past five years, housing prices in Fairfax County have grown 12 times as fast as household incomes. Today, the county's median family would have to spend 54 percent of its income to afford the county's median home; in 2000, the figure was 26 percent. The situation is so dire that Fairfax recently began offering housing subsidies to families earning $90,000 a year; soon, that figure may go as high as $110,000 a year."
:-o
Damn, that means I wouldn't qualify for housing subsidies even if I moved - I would never - to Fairfax County *giggle*.
But did you also know that Fairfax County has the second highest median household income in the country ($81,050!)?
"Homeownership is near an all-time high, but the gap is growing between the Owns and the Own-Nots -- as well as the Owns and the Own-80-Miles-From-Work. One-third of Americans now spend at least 30 percent of their income on housing, the federal definition of an 'unaffordable' burden, and half the working poor spend at least 50 percent of their income on rent, a 'critical' burden."
"Prices have too far to fall; in 2000, two-thirds of the home sales in Fairfax were for $250,000 or less, but last year, fewer than one-twentieth were."
New term for the day - "snob zoning".
"The unfashionable but accurate term for these restrictions is 'snob zoning.' Suburbanites use them to boost property values by keeping out riffraff -- even the riffraff who teach their kids, police their streets and extinguish their fires. Urbanites are susceptible to the same NIMBY impulses, often couched as opposition to 'traffic congestion' or 'overdevelopment' or protection of the neighborhood's 'character.'"
"...the best thing local officials can do to promote affordable housing is to get out of the way -- stop requiring one-acre lots and two-car garages, and stop blocking low-income and high-density projects."
Amen.
And Did you hear about Santa Barbara, where the median home price is $1.2mn - considering subsidies for familes with $160,000 incomes??
Kwazy.
Isn't it nice to be part of the "Owns" and "Haves"? ;-) @ 16:03
[necessary evil?] This article on WaPo today was a sobering read. I have always been vehemently against targeted killings, for reasons that are glaringly obvious - no amount of planning is gonna reduce collateral damage to zero. And one innocent life lost is one too many, in my opinion.
Reading the article did not change my mind. But it did give me a new perspective on this complex issue, and maybe even some understanding. But definitely not acceptance.
Is it a necessary evil?
Lt. Gen. Moshe Yaalon:: "We won't get to the bottom of the barrel by killing terrorists. We'll get there through education. Dichter thinks we'll kill, kill, kill, kill, kill. That's it - we've won. I don't accept that."
Avi Dichter, head of Shin Bet (FBI equiv.):: "the barrel of terrorism has a bottom. If you captured or killed enough terrorists, the problem would be solved. If we miss this opportunity, more Israelis will die."
Yaalon:: "How can we look in the eyes of our pilots if they kill innocent people?"
Dichter: "And if the terrorists walk out alive, and tomorrow another bus explodes, how do we explain it to our people?"
I'm with Yaalon. The article also quoted Dichter - whose father was a Holocaust survivor and the only member of his family who was not killed by the Nazis - saying this:
"I swore since I can remember, I'm not going to let anyone kill a Jew, just because he's a Jew."
Wrong. They're not killing Jews, they're killing Israelis. Not because they're Jewish, but because their government continues to brutally occupy an entire population and their land.
Reclaim your moral high ground and stop oppressing the Palestinians. Rob the terrorists of their reason for their insanity, and you won't ever have to agonize over killing them. @ 15:36
August 25, 2006
[cosmo chicken] OMB, last night was tragic... as in tragically drunk! The bat signal was sent out BEFORE 5pm (you know that's a harbinger for vodka-induced doom) and by 5:30, Rick, Jason, Aaron (aka "fire crotch"), Gmo and I were already at JR's pounding vodka-crans. Rick announced that he hadn't eaten in 2 days so within one drink, bitch is face down ass up in the bar. And still drinking. I am two drinks behind coz by my third drink, I was fit-shaced as well.
You just know it's Back To School week coz the underdeveloped twinks were stretched out the door of JR's... like Jason's ass *giggle*. It was like the cracked out oompa loompa convention featuring pot marks and overgrown stem cells. Bitches, you know those white boys are short when even *I'm* taller than them. Stank.
Not to mention they were all making out with each other. At a bar. In broad daylight. Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth a little.
And just for diversity, in walks a leather daddy in skin-tight leather pants and a baby-T from Tar-zhay. Only problem was he had size 42 love handles (just a few sizes above Rick's) which overflowed down the belt loop of his waist-choking leather pants (just like Rick's, LOL!) like the Pillsbury Dough Boy. It was quite a freak show, and we soaked it all up with the vodka-crans!
6 (7? 8?) drinks later, we crawl up 17th St to Annie's (again!). I had enough self-control this time to *only* order the dozen wings. But I was still hungry, of course, so I dug into Rick's crispy chicken salad.
And this is how drunk I was:
(a) I kept mistaking the croutons for crispy chicken, and spit them out
(b) I threw loafs of bread at Jason, some landing behind the banquette
(c) I dipped crispy chicken into cosmo, like it was dipping sauce
(d) I only just found out I did all of the above today at Liquid Ladies Who Lunch @ Zaytinya
*embarassed*
Damn right, my ass was drunker than yours ;-) @ 17:46
August 24, 2006
[and then, there were 8] Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto? No longer. After 76 years, astronomers have decided that Pluto is no longer a planet.
WTF? That's so arbitrary. In some ways, the decision kinda makes sense coz Pluto is so tiny, it is 2/3rds the size of our moon AND smaller than 6 other moons in the solar system - Ganymede, Titan, Callisto, Io, Europa and Triton (Wikipedia is so cool, *giggle*). Not to mention its non-circular orbit is the only odd ball out of the 9 "planets", bringing it closer to the Sun than Neptune at points.
So, can I be a planet too? Or name one after me?
No, really... what's stopping me from declaring myself as the center of the solar system? Lord knows everything already revolves around me ;-D @ 10:50
August 22, 2006
[liver and liposuction] I am only just now recovering from the past weekend, aided by a Pho-bulous noodle soup lunch this afternoon. The weekend was K-W-A-Z-Y! I am getting old, coz I canNOT possibly get passed out drunk 4 nights in a row anymore. But not that old coz bitches, I wanna live till the day they can make a liver out of stem cells. I would be first in line. Why do you think I'm for it? Der.
I went out (to JR's mostly) so much this past weekend, I had FOUR stamps on my hand by Sunday night in hues of blue, red, black, smiley faces, etc. piled on top of one another. Anytime I forgot where I had been all weekend, all I had to do was just look at the top of my hand. Quite a trip.
The first half of the weekend's focus was Mike/Gary's return to DC. I ran into them at Halo with Chris/Dave/David/Ian before heading to JR's (stamp #1) to meet up with Brettina Size-Queena, Evan, Jason (aka Ms Stoned Gay America *giggle*), Ben/Mike/Scott, Adam/Patrick/Michelle and Lord knows who else. I had group tickets for the final night of Sexe so off we went, the eight of us - Mike/Gary, Chris/Dave, Ken/Stephen - for an uproariously good time at the theater. The show was ehh, not as good as the one we saw two weeks ago but still good fun. Still among the top three drag shows I've seen in my life - remind me to tell you someday about my first drag show experience ever at the Boom Boom Room in KL with Joanne Kam Po Po.
With ticket stubs in hand to redeem for free drinks, we stormed JR's afterwards where we ran into Rick. A dozen chicken wings and a half rack of ribs at Annie's later... *giggle* And no, no straight men in gay bars for Brett this night ;-)
Saturday, we had Mike/Gary, Chris/Dave and Adam/Patrick over for liquid ladies' 4-hour brunch. The 8 of us downed 9 (?) bottles of champagne in the form of mimosas :-o. We were so drunk, we were literally passed out spooning in my guest bedroom, lol. Three hours later, I am rejuvenated from my nap and found Brett downstairs waiting for me. At that point, it was our moral obligation to go to JR's. So we did (stamp #2).
And you *know* Brett has been to JR's one too many times when (a) the door guy cards me instead of her, and (b) she is introducing me to ppl at the bar.
We hook up with some friends of Brett at JR's (Joe? Tim? Blair? White names are so generic...). I had this feeling in my gut (or pain in my liver) that I shouldn't have started drinking again after being so drunk just hours before. But I did. It wasn't pretty. Well, first we all marched up to Cobalt (stamp #3) where we ran into Adam/Michelle and their posse. And after that, things were a blur. Back to JR's. Noodles. Piggyback ride. Slept with clothes on. Not necessarily in that order.
Why do I always make the mistake of scheduling brunch too early on Sundays? Well, I couldn't cancel no matter how hungover I was coz the last time I did, NYC Ben lorded it over me for weeks! So off we went to dim sum brunch at China Garden with Ben/Mike. I literally ate the entire restaurant. Hangover? Gone.
Chris and I had already planned on Sunday at JR's, when Rick calls us up for a little house party at 4. So, we went. Der, free booze. It was more humid than a Cambodian rainforest, but we walked anyway. As we all know, bitch lives On The Moon. Ugh. (a) Bitch needs to move, or (b) somebody needs to start a "Rickshaw to Rick's" (Wickshaw to Wick's?) service or something.
Rick, Brett, Shawn, Chris, Gmo and I have a little rooftop soirée before marching down to JR's for $2 Sundays (stamp #4) aka "I'd like the #2 special please - 2 vodka-crans and a basket of popcorn" Sundays. It was nice and busy at JR's. We were there way long and somehow, we ended up at Annie's for yet another round of "wings and wibs". And better yet, we ended up at JR's again after! We're like the unsinkable alkies.
I went to bed Sunday thinking, "liver and liposuction". As in, need them both.
One week to go before Bali! I need to quit eating, LOL. @ 20:26
[shakira shakira] OK, so how gay is this - Rick, Brett, Chris, Shawn, Guillermo (abbrev. Gmo) and I were sashaying down 17th St en route to JR's on Sunday singing "Hips Don't Lie - The Fetch Version":
Me:: Como se llama, si!, bonita, si!, mi casa...
Gmo:: si! Guillermo, Guillermo (LOL!!!)
Me:: ...su casa
Me:: Oh baby when you talk like that
Shawn:: You make a gaysian go mad
We about peed down our left leg laughing so hard. You just had to be there. @ 17:32
August 20, 2006
[more pix] I've had the most drunken weekend and I can't write. So I'm just gonna put these pics up:
Who are these ppl? LOL!
Rick, me, Chris, Brett & Leo @ $2 JR's Sundays
*passed out* @ 22:34
August 19, 2006
[more pix] From Fetch Brunch today at our place:
We don't look it, but we were really, Really drunk. Like passed out drunk. Literally. I crashed from 5pm till 8pm. @ 20:23
[fetch pix] I've only had five hours of sleep and I'm running on my last cylinders. Plus I have a brunch to host in, um, 3 hours!?! *panic*
But these pics were too good not to be shared:
Jason, Brett, Evan and me @ JR's Happy Hour
Special Agent Galactica, Aurora and Borealis @ the Final Night of SEXE
The Fetch Trinity reunited, plus one hag... We need a new name!
The fun never stops. And neither does my liver punishment.
Mimosas, stat!! @ 09:58
August 18, 2006
[happy 4 hours] Happy Hour at JR's last night turned out to be Happy Four Hours, LOL! What? This gurl has her needs, mmm-kay, and alcohol was high on the agenda, lemme tell ya. It was crazy. I went with fierce-straight-girl-who-only-goes-to-gay-bars Brett and ran into Evan, the Mean Girls, and Jason there. Oh, I mustn't forget AoE-Ben lest she cuts me with her samurai sword and gases me in a chamber. OK, here's the story... I already have an Asian Ben - Korean, in fact, and who shall now be known as NYC-Ben. AoE-Ben is half-Asian (hence the Asian confusion) and I nicknamed him "Axis of Evil" Ben coz he's half-Japanese and half-German :-o
How on Earth did I end up with not one, but TWO Asian Bens?
Related to that, I took a survey recently about DC area GLBT API (um, Gay-Lesbian-Bi-Transgendered Asian-Pacific Islander, der) sex habits at GU and they called me back to ask me if I could refer my "other Asian friends" for the survey. He stressed that I would be compensated, of course. I was literally silent on the phone for like 15 seconds wrecking my brain for someone, anyone that I could think of to refer to him... before I finally gave up and said, "umm ahh... I can't come up with anyone right now."
I bet he must've rolled his eyes on the other end. What? I know two Asians and they both don't qualify, *giggle*.
Aaaaanywho, I thought I was gonna have a nice and quiet night (at JR's? um, right), but 5 (or 6?) drinks later, we are upstairs whoring out Brett to the only straight man in the entire bar. Have pictures, will publish later. Long story short, this is Brett's second try at picking up straight men at gay bars. As you might recall, things ended disastrously during the previous virginal experience - and it's still virginal coz the other guy was, um how shall I put it delicately, phalically-challenged.
This guy? Passed out cold while she was rolling the condom over his... OK, I'm gonna keep this PG-13 but you get the idea.
LOL!!! That was the Best Story, Ever.
And I got chatted up by three nasty, nasty boys. Bitch, please. Here's the 411: (a) grow hair, (b) lose gut, and (c) buy new clothes. I felt like I needed to delouse and bleach myself.
But then uber-hot bartender Matt called me his favorite gaysian in DC. Twice. And then he gave me free drinks by the fistfuls.
All better :-D @ 14:14
[ladies who lunch] I could *so* get used to this. Today, it was another multi-hour Restaurant Week lunch. This time, the venue was Taberna del Alabardero (the food was stank, btw... don't go!). Myself and four ladies from work checked out of the office and checked into the sidewalk terrace of Taberna (great people-watching, btw). We were a fierce international bunch - 2 Malaysians, 1 Spanish, 1 Indian and 1 American - and we lived it up like only "Ladies Who Lunch" can. We gave it to our fans and we gave it good.
It's actually amazing what we talk about at lunch when there is such a diverse group of people. You learn so much about each other's culture, it's almost like watching Discovery Channel everyday at lunch. The history lesson alone is mind-boggling and fascinating. If world politicians sat down to lunch everyday like we do in an informal setting and learned more about each other, there would be no wars I'm sure of it.
Anywho... Don't ask me how or why, but I divulged two things at lunch today which was not only TMI, but also way out in leftfield: (a) I have two balls (still), and (b) I don't shop at Victoria's Secret. The former came out of a conversation about Jon Benet's killer and how castration doesn't really work (like I said, don't ask me how or why), and the latter arose from a convo about hydro-bras. My co-worker and I:
CW:: Why isn't there a Victor's Secret?
Me:: Coz (a) we don't keep it a secret, and (b) it's actually called "Pleasure Place"... But if Victor is cute, I'll shop there :-D
*giggle*
It's amazing how we get any work done around here :-D @ 13:38
[i love summer] This weather could not be anymore pleasant. 70s and cool in the a.m., 80s in the afternoon, and back to the 70s in the p.m. Perfect, perfect, perfect.
I am *so* not wanting this to end, but alas, there are only two more weeks left to summer. Fall is just around the corner. I love 'fall' as in the season itself, but not 'fall' as the harbinger of winter. I am so dreading winter. Walking in the cold to and from work? Not fetch!
My summer officially ends in 10 days when I fly off to Bali for Labor Day weekend. Oh, you haven't heard? I'm doing this crazy 6-day trip (2+ of which is consumed by flying) where I do an overnight stopover to see my parents in KL, and then fly on to Bali for a Girls' Weekend Out with the bride-to-be and her 8 sorority-like friends.
I won't bore you with the details but let's just say "Girls Gone Wild" is our goal for Labor Day weekend in Bali ;-)
Wheeeee!
(I swear to God I'm working! Right now!) @ 10:25
[ruling for the law] The NYT Editorial today:
"Ever since President Bush was forced to admit that he was spying on Americans telephone calls and e-mail without warrants, his lawyers have fought to keep challenges to the program out of the courts. Yesterday, that plan failed. A federal judge in Detroit declared the eavesdropping program to be illegal and unconstitutional. She also offered a scathing condemnation of what lies behind the wiretapping Mr. Bushs attempt to expand his powers to the point that he can place himself beyond the reach of Congress, judges or the Constitution."
"'There are no hereditary kings in America and no powers not created by the Constitution,' wrote Judge Anna Diggs Taylor of the United States District Court in Detroit."
"The ruling eviscerated the absurd notion on which the administrations arguments have been based: that Congress authorized Mr. Bush to do whatever he thinks is necessary when it authorized the invasion of Afghanistan."
"...one judge in Michigan has done what 535 members of Congress have so abysmally failed to do. She has reasserted the rule of law over a lawless administration and shown why issues of this kind belong within the constitutional process created more than two centuries ago to handle them."
You know what the WaPo Editorial's title on this subject is? "A Judicial Misfire - The first federal court opinion on warrantless NSA surveillance is full of sound and fury."
Why do I even bother with subscribing to the WaPo. The NYT to the rescue!!
I don't even object to the warrantless wiretapping, coz I really have nothing to hide and I want the gov't to catch the ppl with something to hide. The thing that pisses me off is that this "program" was concocted and executed in secrecy by the incompetent Bush Administration with no judicial or congressional oversight. Why? Coz if we had consulted Congress or the Courts, Al Qaeda might find out about it.
OMB, like Al Qaeda doesn't know we're listening in on their phone calls?? Shhhhh, nobody tell them. Shame on the newspapers for blabbing about it!
That is the *biggest* crock of shit I've EVER heard *eyes rolling*.
How many more violations of the law and erosion of our constitutional rights do we have to take before we say enough is enough?
Even if the "program" is not a clear-cut violation of the Constitution and the rule of law (I think it is, but everything is debatable), I cannot help but cheer on Judge Taylor for bitch-slapping the stupid mofo in the White House.
It just makes my day *happy jig* @ 09:56
August 17, 2006
[$134] I just had a $134 lunch - my most expensive lunch to date :-o. Well, my co-worker and I went all the way to Chinkytown for a Restaurant Week lunch at IndeBleu. Lunch was $20.06 for 3 courses, and it was très fabu! They had so many choices for appetizers, entrées and desserts. So often, Restaurant Week meant 2 or 3 choices for each course. IndeBleu definitely broke the bad-service, lack-of-choices, yucky-food mold during Restaurant Week. AND the manager came by to check on us. I *love* attention. Best yet, they're extending it till next week. Fetch!
I spent the over $100 on retail therapy post-lunch (der, my credit card needed more exercise). Aveda and Urban Outfitters, conveniently located on the same block for shopaholics like moi.
Check this out: This uber-cunt cash register Nazi at Aveda like totally pissed me off. I gave her two bottles of hairgel (that I cannot take on the plane, grrr) and I asked her if I could add another item to the pile, at which point she says to me:
"I've already rung it up."
...and proceeds to bag things up and hand me my credit card receipt.
WTF?!
I *asked* you if I could add the item to the pile coz I was being nice. I *expect* you to be elated by the fact that I *want* to buy more stuff. *I* am the consumer therefore *I* am king (or queen) and when *I* choose to spend money at your store, you better take it and take it lying down, you stupid mofo lowly retail white trash bitch.
Good eff-ing God.
What is the world coming to??
I should write a stern letter of complaint to Aveda corporate (did you know they're based in MN?).
...
Serenity Now *ohmmmmm* @ 16:54
[grounded] Nooooo! What am I gonna do now on my 18h 40m non-stop flight from Newark to Singapore in two weeks?? @ 10:20
[google.wifi] Isn't this like totally fierce? If you are one of 72,000 folks in Mountain View, CA (35 mi south of SF), you can use Goggle's 11.5 sq mi Wi-Fi network at DSL-like speeds. For free! Zero, zilch, zip, nada, gratis.
You can ditch your cable modem, your DSL, your dial-up (*gasp*) - basically any internet connection that you're currently paying for - and use Google.
How bloody cool is that?
To think, Google invested $1mn in this project. That's 0.01% of their cash holdings.
Google rules.
Even AOL's own users think so - wasn't that the funniest article? AOL must be sooooo embarassed. @ 10:15
[fashion memo] 19th St - my daily route to and from work - is great for people-watching. The tide is generally southbound from Dupont until M St (Red Line Marylanders and Dupont queens), and switches to northbound once you get closer to K St (Orange Line Virginians).
Suburbanites *eyes rolling*.
And oh, the fashion disasters.
Memo to all straight men/boys who still wear pleated pants: Burn Them Now.
Please be dears and spare my eyes the tragedy of such a sight. Pleated pants are so 1990, and even back then they were a mistake. If you have a size 36" waist and above, well you're forgiven for wearing them coz flat-fronts would look even more cataclysmic on you. Then again, if you're >36", I wouldn't notice you anyway, LOL! Such an evil bitch in the morning :-)
Memo to all gay men/boys who still wear pleated pants: Burn Yourself.
You're gonna burn anyway for offending the gay fashion Gods so, DIY baby, DIY.
And just in case you're wond'ring: No exceptions, period. 09:05
August 16, 2006
[$51.30] That's how much I paid for gas this past Sunday for a somewhat full tank (the red light had just come on after a round-trip to Rehoboth).
:-o
I think I paid like $3.55/gallon for Premium or some outrageous shit like that (no, my car doesn't take regular :-p... bloody German cars). Kwazy. Can you imagine $6 or $7/gallon gas? I would have to spend $100+ to fill up my tank, OMB.
Bring it on! Hopefully that would take some cars off 66, which was horrendous this morning going out to the boonies (yes, trip #6 out to the sticks for work and counting).
I am pretty psyched that the closest gas station from the house - like, less than a block away - switched from an Exxon to a Sunoco. I am sooooo anti-Exxon it's not even funny. I would literally drive blocks (in the city) or miles (in the suburbs) to find another gas station, even if it meant running on fumes and driving by three Exxons or Mobils.
Why? Coz I'm a tree-hugger (Exxon Valdez). And Exxon's upper management revoked domestic partner benefits when they ate up Mobil. Stank bitches.
Yea, I'm crazy. And principled ;-) @ 22:33
August 15, 2006
[envious whores] Adam sends me an e-mail today titled "Kiat 1999 - to Present". And in it, she links three pictures: One (from 1999), Two (from 2001), and Three (from 6 months ago).
And bitch says:
"I was looking at Kiats photos on line, boy how our little one has grown up, she is so pretty!"
And then Patrick says:
"You went from Flabby Asian to Flaming Gaysian."
:-o
Envious whores. @ 22:39
[1mn strong] A milestone has been reached in the Washington metropolitan region - census figures for 2005 shows the metro area is now home to more than 1 million immigrants, one of only eight with immigrant populations of 1mn or more. The others are NYC, LA, Miami, Chicago, SF, Houston and Dallas. DC has solidified its position as a gateway to America, joining the nation's largest and most diverse cities.
One in 5 people in metropolitan Washington are immigrants, compared with one in 6 in 2000. The number of immigrants have doubled since 1990, even as the population has grown by a quarter as a whole. Fairfax County has the largest Asian immigrant population - more than half of its immigrants. MoCo has the largest South American immigrant population, with Asian numbers second only to Fairfax. In descending order, the percentage of immigrants is largest in MoCo (29%), followed by Fairfax (27%), Alexandria (26%) and Arlington (25%). Loudoun and Prince William, both at 19%, are close behind. The District itself has 67,717 immigrants or 13% of the population.
I'm one of 67,717! ;-)
Latinos make up 39% of the region's immigrants compared to 53% nationwide. Asians make up 36% of the region's immigrants compared to 27% nationwide, bringing with them college or advanced degrees. The DC metro area also does not have as many Mexicans - who are less likely to have college degrees - as other areas with large immigrant populations. Consequently, four in 10 DC area immigrants hold at least a college degree, compared with less than three in 10 nationwide. Uniquely, DC does not have a dominant immigrant group.
Lots of Asians in the DC metro area... We rule :-)
Census 2005 catalogs an "explosion of diversity" across the US:
Median age = 36.4 vs 35.3 in 2000
Caucasians = 67% (70% in '00), Hispanics = 14.5%, Blacks = 12.8%
Caucasians are a minority in HI, NM, CA, TX and DC
Caucasians fell below 60% in MD, GA and NV
Immigrants = 12.4% vs 11.1% in 2000, up 16% or 4.9mn in 5 yrs
Immigrants = 35.7mn, larger than the population of CA
Immigrants = Mexico 27.5mn, China 10.4mn, India 5.8mn
Immigrants = 27.2% of CA (highest) - 40.3% in LA, 37.9% in SJose
Immigrants = 1.1% of WV, 2%< in MS/MT/ND
Largest immigrant populations = CA, NY, TX, FL, NJ, IL
Highest immigrant growth = SC up 47% since 2000
Highest Hispanic growth = AR up 48% since 2000
Percentage of caucasians grew in only two states = WV and HI
We're everywhere. @ 22:17
[on call] As if I haven't been working enough lately... peeps in Singapore calling during their morning hours which is nightime here i.e. I'm drunk, and they call again during their evening hours which is morning here i.e. they're drunk. How we get any work done is beyond me *giggle*
So imagine my surprise to discover that I'm on-call - yea, like 24x7 on-call - for the next TWO weeks. Ugh. They keep telling me they won't call, that this is just precaution, in case of emergency, blah blah blah. Watch, it will be just my luck that I'm face down ass up at JR's one night and those bitches will start calling. I can feel it coming.
I'm sposed to sleep with my phone on me, they tell me. I shall set it on vibrate and put it down ther... oh wait *PG-13*.
Oh and check this out, apparently I get "paid" for being on-call. I put "paid" in quotes coz it's like $100/week or something stupid like that. Please, I won't even pick up the phone for twice that.
Anywho, my on-call ends at 8am on Tuesday the 29th which is hours before I fly off to Bali. Yay me.
Is this gonna stop me from going out the next two weeks?
Hell no ;-) @ 21:30
[devil's crack] It's 86° in the house right now, 2° more than outside.
It feels like a thousand degrees.
Aaahhhhh!!!
Last Friday, before leaving for Rehoboth, the air-conditioning in the house crapped out. The AC guy was sposed to come the next day while we were out of town (he has the keys and the alarm code, go figure), but he never showed up. Instead, he shows up on Monday and proceeds to tell us that the old unit has completely crapped out and a new unit will be necessary. Oh, and the earliest he can get the new $5,000+ unit is Wednesday. WTF? Five thousand bucks and you can't deliver it on the same day? Gimme an eff-ing break.
Anywho, the weekend had beautiful weather so when we got home Sunday night, it really wasn't so bad at all.
Yesterday and today? Actually, it really isn't so bad. I mean, it's a little warm and all...
Oh who am I fucking kidding, it's ridiculously hot!!! It's so stiflingly humid in the house, all the surfaces are sticky. I can barely sit on the faux-suede couch without leaving a stain coz my crack is sweating.
I have now gone FIVE days without air-conditioning, arghhhhh! I feel like I'm living in Gaza. Absolutely ridick.
Right now, I'm sitting in our bedroom. The window AC unit is buzzing, keeping things in the room at 78°. Feels a lot more comfy though because of the lowered humidity. There's also the basement where the AC units are separate from the upper levels and they're running on full blast. Fetch. So, really, it's not all bad.
Reprieve is on its way. If it's still hotter than a devil's crack this time tomorrow... let's just say hell hath no fury like a melting gaysian.
What on earth did ppl do before air-conditioning?? @ 21:01
August 14, 2006
[krispy "cream" indeed] We were walking down to Ben & Jerry's on 19th St two Sundays ago with M2 and his trick and we saw this sign:
HOT Krispy ORGI NOW! *giggle*
Creamy-licious. @ 22:49
August 8, 2006
[no compromise] From vice-presidential nominee two years ago, to losing his party nomination for US Senate today. Joe Lieberman's loss in Connecticut is the best thing to happen to the Democratic Party in a long time.
Supporting the President's war? Embracing Bush at the SOTU? If you're with him, you're not with us.
The message is loud and clear to all Democratic Party candidates this fall: No Compromise.
Seize back the house, take no prisoners and pummel the Republicunts into the ground. It's about time they get a taste of their own medicine. @ 23:39
[quiet weekend] After a sizzling workweek where it was hotter than a devil's crotch, the weekend was cool in comparison. Oh don't get me wrong, it was still in the low 90s but there's nothing like 100+° weather plus stifling humidity to make 90s feel cool and refreshing.
It was a rather quiet JR's-trifecta weekend actually. It was very, very lazy. Barely anyone was in town, as half of gay DC and all of Congress decamped to the beach. DC empties out in the summer like it's an European capital. Makes it nice to be in town actually.
After a very long week, Friday evening prolonged the misery with more work crap. Once 9pm rolled around, I was like, "fuck it, I'm going out and getting a drink". So I did. And where was destination numero uno? JR's, of course, der. I met Brett and her gay bf - Shawn - plus Katie and her bf there for a few (OK, lots of) drinks. After that, we all went down the street to check out Sexe at the Church Street Theater. One of our buddies, Jeff, is the artistic director of the Actors' Theatre of Washington - "DC's Premier GLBT Theatre Company" - which is the group that's putting on the show. That, and gay DC's one and only uber-fabulous Asian diva patron saint - Noi - is the underwriter for their current headline show, "Tramps and Vamps". And Noi's my bitch, LOL!
So, of course we have free tickets. We get there, and I manage to finagle 4 free tickets. But there are six of us. No matter how hard I begged, this fat bastard behind the counter wouldn't give it to me. It was completely sold out, apparently. Stank. I got down on my knees. I offered to pay. No deal. Even Noi couldn't get additional tickets (and she paid for the whole damn thing). Grrr.
Lemme tell ya: Sexe? Is fucking hillarious! The best drag show I've ever seen. Totally awesome. It helped that we were all hyped up on enough alcohol to be hungover during the show *giggles at Brett*. But seriously, if you haven't seen it, don't walk, run and get tickets to go see it. It's the best hour of drag fun. Ever.
After the show, we stumbled to JR's to redeem our free drinks with our Sexe ticket stubs. I don't remember what transpired after that, but we were way passed out drunk by the end of the night (hence, I don't remember). I think I got home at 3? Fetch!
Saturday started out with the plasma mount (which you've read about). Then it became an all-M2 day. We met up with him and his out-of-town weekend trick (Daryl) at Universal Gear. I bought a new pair of swimtrunks (that has "God Save The Queen" emblazoned on the ass, lol!) and a new pair of fierce Diesel shoes. After that, we drove around to Homo Depot (I know, how butch), Hains Point, etc. with the top down in my convertible. It was a little too hot for that but I was dying for some top down time after a miserably hot week and 260-miles of driving with the top up!
Then, a really stank thing happened to us as we were driving around the Circle. Some crazy f-ed up bitch ran across the Circle - in the middle of traffic - and hit my car! I was *furious*, but I was thinking that she couldn't possibly have done that much damage so I just yelled at her and drove on. When we got to Lauriol Plaza, I realized that she had yanked the antenna off the car! Grrr. I was so pissed at that point, I wanted to call the cops so that they could witness me cutting her down if I found her (and my antenna!) at the Circle. I would've pulled her hair, gouged her eyes out, went for the jugular, cut her with the chopsticks in my hair, and burnt her alive. Yea, I'm a violent bitch.
I got over it in like, oh, 10 minutes. That's how long it took for us to get our first pitcher of margarita swirl on the roofdeck of Lauriol, LOL! Alcohol makes everything better. Well, that and the fact that I later found out that the antenna costs, like, $15. Oh well, some things are just not worth dwelling on and making myself miserable over. I know, right? How unbecoming of me. I think as I get older, I'm learning to just let the stupid small things go. You're probably thinking: "What happened to the Kiat I know, and where are you hiding him?" *grin*
We had an uproarious time at Lauriol (always). It was me/Tony, M2/Daryl, Phillip, Leo/Aaron, and we talked about all sorts of shit. The best story had to be Phillip's no-underwear story at Remington's, where he exclaimed it was so hot there the night before, he was sweating down his crack making him feel like he shat on his penis.
:-o
You don't even want a mental image of that, Trust! I bet he learnt his lesson after that, lol! Never again. After that, we went to JR's (again, mmm-hmm), partied there for 3 hours before going home. Don't ask me what happened or who we met at JR's. I did learn a very valuable phrase from Phillip the next time someone chats me up at JR's (which happened the Sunday before):
"No drinkie, no talkie!"
LOL! That bitch is funny. Love him long time.
Anywho, it was only 8pm and I had grand plans to meet up with Brett/Shawn afterwards, but passed out instead after dinner. Yup, drunk again *giggle*
Sunday was the 8-hour drinking marathon that began at 1pm... after yoga, of course. Brunch with Ben/Mike at Merkado was followed by Starbucks/B&J's/Chinatown (where I bought a whole bunch of yummy noodles, roots, twigs, and berries) with M2/Daryl, and then the day ended with $2 Sunday at JR's, of course, thus completing the JR's trifecta. JR's was surprisingly crowded, but still far from normal Sundays. I am almost wishing for fall so that the boys are back in town again and packing the bars. But in all seriousness, I would not give up this warm weather for anything we're likely to encounter from Oct - Mar. I am so enjoying the pretty blue summer sky and the lovely summer breeze and the nice and balmy walk home. Well, on days that are below 90°, that is ;-)
But I digress. I think the harshest part about Sunday was having a work conversation over the phone with peeps from Singapore after I got home, blitzed out, from JR's. I was so eff-ing drunk I don't even remember what we were talking about! All's I know is my brains were hurting while I was troubleshooting some issue over the phone. My co-worker must've thought I left half a brain at the bar (and perhaps I did), coz I sounded completely incoherent. It was really rough, lol.
So, yea that was my weekend in a gist - work and get drunk, get drunk and work, JR's, JR's, JR's. Wait, did I say it was a quiet weekend? LOL!
Well, it could've been. But I just never let it ;-) @ 23:28
[pause] After 17 consecutive rate increases since June 2004 pushing the short-term bank lending rate from 1% to 5.25%, the Feds left the rate unchanged today. That doesn't mean they won't raise the rates next month, especially if gas prices rocket (unlikely, but oh how I wish) after BP's surprise announcement yesterday.
The shutdown of Prudhoe Bay - the largest oil field in North America - reduces domestic production of oil by 8% or 400,000 barrels, which amounts to 2.6% of US daily consumption. Pump prices, at an average of $3.036/gallon, are 2 cents off the record high reached 11 months ago after Hurricane Katrina hit. The West Coast, which gets a quarter of its gas from Alaska, is expected to be hit the hardest.
High gas prices = high core inflation = high interest rates = economic slowdown.
See? I should've been an economist instead ;-) @ 21:39
August 5, 2006
[hell, dc] It's official. 101° on Thursday marks the first day in four years that DC had a 100+° day. It also set an all-time record for that day (previously 100° in 1930).
This past workweek has been brutal. I drove on three days (luckily), and got picked up/dropped off on the others. I even Metro-ed home last night, but mostly coz I was going to my hairdresser's in North Dupont. Speaking of hairdressers... my regular is no longer working at the place I go to on Connecticut Ave, and I was panicking coz it takes me an incredibly long time to find another and I needed a haircut pronto. Well, guess what? I found one in less than 5 seconds. He had me at "You want it short at the side and trimmed at the top, right?"
It helped that he was Asian too. Only Asians can cut Asian hair :-)
Anywho, the past workweek - 96° on Monday, 98° on Tuesday (1° shy of the record), 99° on Wednesday (again, 1° shy), a hairgel-melting 101° on Thursday (new record), and 94° on Friday. We've now had 9 consecutive days of above 90° weather. Today promises to break that heatwave with a high of 89°.
I like the warm weather, but even the past week's swampy conditions have been too too much for me.
Welcome to Hell, DC in the summertime! @ 11:51
[ain't all that bad] Oops, I got so sidetracked by my disdain for the suburbs (two words: Traffic, and Driving) that I forgot to tell you why it was a 14-hour workday, der.
After I got home - at like 7pm... work made me miss happy hour, grrr! - I was on call again by 8pm. I was on tap to remotely install a new device in Singapore and the dude in Singapore had originally offered to do it 7pm over there on Friday.
Oh, how convenient. For him! Coz that meant 7am here! I was like, "Nuh-uh, bitch. I don't get up that early for ANYone or ANYthing, much less for work."
So I made him do it at 8am Friday morning in Singapore, which meant 8pm Thursday evening here. Better ruin a night out than my beauty sleep is what I'm sayin' ;-)
Complications (again) meant that the call lasted till 11pm.
I was SO over it by that point. Ready to pull all the hair on my head, AND the three hairs on my body, out.
But I was smiling. Why?
The building in BFV, that I had gone out to twice earlier in the day, is a secured 24x7 facility. The second time I left, I met a really, really nice and sweet guard (female, of course). She's from Africa. Super nice, super sweet, super polite. I chatted her up, and asked her who she was gonna chat with once I left. She replied, "Nobody. You're the last to leave." Unlike other office buildings where workers are filing in and out pretty much all day and night and there are multiple guards that mingle amongst themselves, this place was a one-man (well, one-woman) facility. It was already past 6pm which made me wonder how much longer she was gonna stay guarding this empty building. She said, "Oh, till 11pm."
All alone. Till 11pm.
She's probably getting paid minimum wage. Even if it was twice that, it would still be pathetic (it's OK, Brett... we still love you, LOL!). But she was the happiest person on the planet. Right at that moment, I felt incredibly selfish and self-centered (only at that moment??). Coz here I was bitching about the cushiest job in the world and how I they had just *made* me drive out here to BFV - an act I have now affectionately termed "cruel and unusual punishment" - when this lady is happy that she just gets to work (who cares if it's shift, or lonely), feed her family and go home happy.
On my drive home, I didn't care about the mind-numbing traffic, or the ridiculously oppressive heat, or how I'm contributing towards global warming with my 260-miles of driving over three days. I just felt incredibly fortunate. Trust me when I say the 28-mile drive home was far less angst-filled than I did driving out there. OK, I had to do it TWICE, bitches - you woulda been pissed too!
At the end of the day, I have a cushy desk job that I can walk to. My co-workers are incredible. The organization is fantastic. The work is challenging and stimulating. I have a great time doing what I do. I'm good at it. And oh, right, let's not forget it pays an assload of money.
More importantly, there are lots of nice restaurants in NW!! Hehe.
I should just shut the fuck up and stop whinging/whining/bitching/bemoaning/begrudging/groaning/complaining about everything and anything under the sun. Really, my life ain't all that bad. Really.
I'm not trying to make myself feel better by showering pity on that poor lady. Well... OK, maybe just a little. Oh com'on, you were doing it too :-p It's human nature.
OK, so... You're probably thinking, what about the person who has the 11pm-whenever shift? You're not? Well, too bad... think about poor lil' him/her :-p. He/she is even worse off. But, y'know what? I never met that person and I have no idea if he/she is a nice person or a dick so I don't really care.
LOL!
Yup, it's all about me, and all these immigrants serving me - the snobbiest, bitchiest, cuntiest immigrant of them all.
I love me *giggle* @ 11:33
[dedicated] It's hard to write these days if you have to work 14 hour days.
:-o
I know, right? When did Kiat become a workaholic?
It's a looooong and sordid story. But basically, I drove out to the cow pastures in Virginia not once, but TWICE on Thursday. I went out in the a.m. and things were going great, until I realized that I forgot to do one little thing which led to the entire network being brought down. By then, I was already back in DC. So off I go again, back to the edge of the earth.
Only this time, it was 3pm. Rush hour. I was thinking to myself, "Well... it's still kinda early. 66 (which is the only way to get there) shouldn't be that bad."
*Buzzer*. Wrong!
I crawled ALL the way out to the Beltway. Then continually between the Beltway and where I needed to be (trust me, it's way the fuck out there). I was like, "WTF? Rush hour starts at 3??". There was an assload of cars on the road. Now I know why ppl show up at 6am to work. That's so that they can leave at 2pm to avoid this mess! And what a mess it was. I don't want to imagine what happens after 4pm. I really don't know how this ppl do it every day. 66 is such a pithole, that leads out to more and nastier pitholes in bumfuck Virginia (Note to self: trademark "BFV").
Stank, stank, stank.
Anywho, enough about the non-descript, cultural wastelands called suburbs ;-) By the time I got to my destination, close to an hour had passed. I was fuming, not just because I had just wasted part of my life away driving to friggin' nowhere, but also because it was a billion degrees outside and I can't believe I had to do this again.
So there I was, shitting bricks that the network was down for about an hour. But check this out - the peeps at work were like: "If you hadn't been here (and with my boss out), this would've taken days to fix. It's great that you are so dedicated to your job and getting things done. Such a breath of fresh air."
Huh? Who on earth were you guys hiring before?? Isn't this how it is sposed to be? Perhaps I'm just too motivated for my own good. I just don't believe in doing something... anything poorly.
Dedicated... Hah! That made me laugh. @ 11:15
[mounting] Tony and one of our fav contractors are mounting the plasma in the living room right now (finally). I was fast asleep (look at the time and you'll know why) until I heard the sound of the drill.
So I came downstairs, looked at the holes in the wall and was like, "Hi, that's WAY low". Tony insists that I had told him the center of the plasma should be 42" off the ground. I think he's on crack. I wanted the *bottom* of the plasma to be 30" off the ground.
Arguement ensues. Of course.
The holes were already drilled, but thankfully the existing top row of holes are exactly where the future bottom ones should be.
So, the contractor re-drills, and as he was doing so he proclaims in his very foreign, Eastern European accent (sounds quite cute actually):
"I always do things when my wife is not home. It's easier to ask forgiveness than to seek permission."
:-o
The nerve!
Well... I'm just gonna sit here in the living room and order them around. Where I belong. Manual labor? Pfffttt. @ 10:03
August 3, 2006
[drama at dawn] Holy shit, check this out:
Mamma Mia!
The back alley blocked by a firetruck
Not my car :-p
It was SO hot yesterday... the house two doors down caught on fire, LOL!!!
It all started during the twilight hours this morning. I have no idea what the exact time was coz this bitch slept through the whole thing! By the time I woke up at 7:30am (I know, WTF??), the whole back of this house TWO doors down had been completely destroyed. Shocking.
What's even more startling is that there were 5 or 6 firetrucks barricading the street out front and the back alley, plus gazillions of firemen, and they were spraying water from our neighbor's back yard! Yes, our next door neighbor! And we slept through the whooooole eff-ing thing!
And now, I'm sitting here patiently waiting for DC's finest (actually, they were all fat and ugly... there goes my firemen fantasy) to reopen the back alley so I can get my car out to drive to the suburbs for work - yes, again! I'm telling ya, this mission of mine to resuscitate one of our temperamental hardware devices out in the boonies is jinxed.
It's gonna be another scorcher today, wheeeee... @ 08:15
August 1, 2006
[gam/gwm] This is certainly not new, but everytime someone sends it to me, I go into fits of hysterics just reading it. So, I thought: Why not just memorialize it on here so that I can read it whenever? ;-)
The GAM one is funnier. Enjoy!
The Care of Your GAM
Training Your White Boy in Ten Easy Lessons
Trust me when I say: Most of the stereotypes are true, LOL! @ 08:56
31 :: oink
31 :: almost there
30 :: wifi-less
30 :: wow
30 :: me so hungry
29 :: polar route
29 :: i made it!
29 :: fifth starbucks
29 :: *yawn*
29 :: disconnected
29 :: so far...
28 :: final summer weekend
28 :: 3.5 hours
28 :: 9,539 miles
27 :: dept of erections
27 :: 4 weeks
27 :: ex-boyfriends
27 :: owns, own-nots
27 :: necessary evil?
25 :: cosmo chicken
24 :: and then, there were 8
22 :: liver and liposuction
22 :: shakira shakira
20 :: more pix
19 :: fetch pix
18 :: happy 4 hours
18 :: ladies who lunch
18 :: i love summer
18 :: ruling for the law
17 :: $134
17 :: grounded
17 :: google.wifi
17 :: fashion memo
16 :: $51.30
15 :: envious whores
15 :: 1mn strong
15 :: on call
15 :: devil's crack
14 :: krispy "cream" indeed
08 :: no compromise
08 :: weekend fun
08 :: pause
05 :: hell, dc
05 :: ain't all that bad
05 :: dedicated
05 :: mounting
03 :: drama at dawn
01 :: gam/gwm